Guilt

This is hard for me because I have no guilt. The reason for this lack of guilt is that I started on the path at 23. The path is guiltless. You follow the path, you do what comes naturally. Why would guilt arise?

That does not mean my actions have always been perfect – far from it, there is still much to learn when you are on the path. But as one of the 4 Agreements says because I was on the path I “always do the best I can”. I am not perfect, my actions are not perfect, but I always try so what is there to be guilty about. I accept that I was an alcoholic part of the time when I was on the path but I don’t know that I could have done better so I don’t feel guilty.

Before I followed the path I did all kinds of stupidity that I am embarrassed about but when I think of those behaviours they were not me who follows the path so I don’t feel guilty – just ashamed and I don’t talk about the specifics.

What is most important to deal with guilt is what I call sila-consciousness; sila is the Buddhist term for moral integrity. As part of “always doing the best I can”, I have tried to be as moral as I can. This is no 10 commandments morality, it is not a morality imposed on me from the outside, it is my sila-consciousness – the morality I am comfortable with. Because it is morality I am comfortable with, my actions are always BZ-moral. Because I can rely on my actions being BZ-moral, if stuff goes wrong I know I am BZ-sila and I have done the best I can. No guilt.

What about the consequences of my actions? Might bad consequences arise? Yes. Is that my fault this time? No, because I was doing the best I can. If the bad consequences did happen again, then it is my fault because I have not learnt.

What about all the starving kids in the world? Do I feel guilty? No. Why? I do the best I can. Can a 67-year-old Englishman go over to Myanmar and do something for the Rohingya? No.

I always try to do the best I can in the situations that arise in my life. Am I complacent? Sometimes. How do I know? Meditation tells me I am being complacent. Because of these things:-

1. following the path
2. having sila-consciousness
3. trying to do the best I can
4. meditation watching for complacency

I don’t feel guilty.

And who judges whether I should feel guilty? Me, not you, not Ajaan Buddhadasa, not gossipy neighbours, not society’s supposed moral guardians, no-one judges me but me – that is what my mindfulness is for – judging me, criticising me, making me better (but not bashing me up like a bunch of thugs). br>
So now what about your GUILT? You should be completely ashamed, how can you possibly have behaved like that, go up to your room and say 500 hail Marys, and then beat yourself with a paddle until the bruises bleed.

Of course I’m not going to say that but that is what you tell yourself when you keep thinking about guilt. Guilt is an ego that wants to churn up your mind and repeatedly take you down the same emotional rabbit-hole. What a complete waste of time? Thinking over and over again about stuff that was in the past that you can do nothing about.

So here’s the rub, here is the real question? Any time the guilt monster wants to drag you down the rabbit-hole, ask yourself “is there anything I can do now to help the situation?” If not forget it.

Please remember guilt and shadow are different. If a shadow arises it needs to be embraced, gone into, come to terms with, cried and let go. If guilt arises tell this ego to stop disturbing your peace there is nothing I can do so go away.

So this is tricky. The same situation might be a shadow and also used by ego to give you guilt. You need to integrate shadow and forget guilt, both completely opposite actions.

So for now and the future follow these 4 steps I raised above:-

1. following the path
2. having sila-consciousness
3. trying to do the best I can
4. meditation watching for complacency

Bye bye guilt.