Public Domain Science Fiction Writer Mokeroha contents Wai Z contents

For Taee this was a romantic dream. If she could have manipulated it, this would have been her dream moment, the man she loved proposing to her on one knee agreeing to spend his life with her. But her mind was sufficiently clear, what she had dreamed of was not happening. This was a marriage contract without the romantic love she so desired. She had to control her racing heart, if he knew that she felt this romantic love he would run a mile; he would see it as some form of exploitation, taking advantage of someone who romantically loved him. She detached herself, and answered him speaking in his calculating terms “Let me think about it. I agree that you have much to offer the enlers, and that they would only accept you if they felt you were in romantic love. But I must think whether that is enough for me, why would I live my life as your wife-camouflage?” “Oh I’m sorry, Taee,” he apologised. “In my eagerness to do my work – what nature meant for me to do, I didn’t think enough of what you would get out of it. I only remembered how troubled you were by the attentions of men, I could protect you from that .... But of course, that is nowhere near a sufficient reason. I am sorry for asking you.” “Please don’t concern yourself and let me think about it,” she got up perhaps too abruptly and left. She already knew her answer was yes, she wanted to spend as much of her life with this man as she could. But he would never accept her as a doormat, an accompaniment to his plan for enler regeneration. If she joined him without good reason, he would feel guilty all of the time detracting from the necessary work. She needed time to give him a good reason, and she could not tell him the truth that she loved him. There was also her own concern, could she live with him without ever telling him she loved him? And she could never tell him because if she did he would feel trapped – even if he came to love her in some small way. Returning to her kuti, she quietly sobbed; she had no idea how she could solve this. Her quiet sobbing led to sleep, and she awoke with the answer. From her own studies she must make a similar enler infiltration plan. And in truth she had always felt the need for the enlers to embrace the NaAgual theme of SEEing – in much the same way as Mo had spoken of. Her own studies had led to an understanding of this SEEing, this clarity – there was so little clarity amongst enlers. So blinded by their commitment to love, that they did not SEE how they were straying from the teachings of Gurudasa; she knew this. Could she make this a vocation, a vocation strong enough that Mo would accept it? She had to deceive Mo, persuade him that she had a vocation to make the enlers SEE Yoxa first and then see relationship; and to deceive him she had to become much more committed to the SEEing vocation than she was at the moment. For a few days she developed her vocation studying Gurudasa finding where he had made it clear that in relationship there had to be two authentic Yoxa SEEing each other. And when she looked, she found. By the time she spoke again with Mo, her love had turned her plan into the sort of vocation that Mo could understand. When she told him she could see doubts, but his own desire for the enler regeneration was so strong it quickly swept aside those doubts. Her deception suited him, there was sufficient for stability. And they were now on the plane together to find a way of getting into the enler training. ***************** Many many years later her health was failing Taee, it was a genetic weak heart. How could she find a way of telling him. And he needed to slow down anyway – he was still on his mission, so determined on his mission. Her mind drifted back as it had been more prone to do lately. Yet again being on a plane together was a significant change in their lives. Off to an enler conference with the rather grandiose title of “Love and Stagnation: Avoiding the Dogmaton in Yoxa” - another conference; this was Mo’s title even if it hadn’t originated with him, she mused. This plane took her back to their first flight together, Mo, the spiritual revolutionary with his deceptive wife beside him – the camouflage, they called it together. She had maintained her own delusion of camouflage throughout, but she knew that for Mo it was more than camouflage now. Not that it mattered any more, she could never have imagined a more fulfilling life – loving Mo and becoming the SEE-enler. Even though Mo had achieved so much – much more important from her point of view she could feel his insecurity. They were the enler power couple, he with his spiritual enlers and she with SEEing integral to every enler training. Not that it had been easy, her mind drifted further into memory. Mo’s camouflage was effective. As soon as this mature couple applied, they were welcomed with open arms by the enler academy. “We welcome life experience as enlers, and we are especially pleased that Mokeroha has found romantic love given his history,” she gripped Mo tightly when the interviewer had said this during his gatekeeping. Mo’s anger was rising, he should be better than that, she thought. And he was as he looked at her and then smiled at the gatekeeper. SEEing slipped far more easily into current enler understanding than Mo’s more radical agenda. Even during training Taee’s own more limited radicalism was welcomed by the tutors, but of course the NaAgual wisdom of indigenous Yoxa always broke down intellectual barriers. But she still met the tutors who were threatened by new understanding – the Dogmaton dilemma of tutors. Although they always claimed they were looking for new approaches, most of them could not take it. Feeling undermined by the changes – being older made that more palatable, they maintained superficial protection that said we will welcome your new approaches but we are the tutors so follow what we say. For Taee that was relatively easy but she could see how hard it was for Mo to see these gatekeeping pipsqueaks cling to their views and then tell him what to do. She was always impressing upon him his need to accept the way things are because he was a student. With a few scrapes with the more intransigent of the academics, Mo got through in the end, but they rewarded her with accolades – a pattern that kind of stuck throughout their lives together. It angered her because no matter how much the enler system had to accept what Mo was saying about spiritual love, because they couldn’t experience it for themselves they always kept him at arm’s length. She stopped that, and watched Mo working. How could he use that mint (mind-computer interface)!! Especially lately, she said to herself. How did he control the thoughts so that the mint only picked up what he decided, making the thoughts actual sentences. When she tried it, they said it was only a matter of training, it was not a training she wanted; when it came to speeches she was satisfied with bullet points. Bringing herself back she had to think of the stagnation she had met when trying to introduce SEEing. Relationships were not understood, SEE Yoxa first. She timed herself. It seems strange now but when I first started enlers focussed on the relationship. Looking at the two Yoxa together, they tried to find out what was wrong BETWEEN them – relationship first. This was primarily because enlers were not trained in SEEing, they themselves did not try to SEE the Yoxa - she suspected they did not try to SEE in their own personal lives. Whilst they were trained to keep clear minds, they were never trained to SEE Yoxa with those clear minds. You could not blame the enlers for this, it was systemic – stagnation. Enquiry – SEEing, Between images. How had this systemic stagnation set in? When they received training to become counsellors, enlers were not encouraged to enquire during training and during their work. LWP - Listen to both separately, that was their mantra. Work out what was different about their perceptions of each other, and then patch up those differences. LWP was all about BETWEEN. There was no counselling of enquiry. When they listened they didn’t ask whether the Yoxa were SEEing themselves correctly, it was always relational – what was the difference in their perceptions of each other. This often led to correctional behaviour in both parties but at no point was there enquiry to SEE who each was. So the relationship was BETWEEN IMAGES. Enrets – senior stagnation and elders, 3E’s During training enlerSEE was introduced, and a key part of enler training became SEEing themselves first – no easy matter. To begin with, many existing counsellors failed this - especially amongst the more experienced, and that brought scrutiny to the introduction of enlerSEE. When counsellors failed, they spoke with the hierarchy – a hierarchy who had never been trained in SEEing. These senior enlers were sympathetic to the failed counsellors, but there were sufficient elders there to keep the programme on track. Eventually it resolved itself through Enrets - enquiry retreats. These enrets removed the stagnation of the seniors as well as stagnation that arises through conditioning. Enrets were specifically targetted initially, for senior enrets and for new counsellor enrets. Those running the enret programme saw that their main problem for bringing in genuine SEEing was to make the senior enlers SEE themselves and SEE their stagnation. There grew the distinction between seniors and elders amongst the enret trainers, and they quickly grew to spot them. Instinctively, elder enlers brought enquiry to their work. Whilst they still used LWP, they were not rigid in applying it and spent more time on recognising individuals, a process that later crystallised as SEEing. Seniors however were by the LWP book, often climbing the ladder by reinforcing the LWP mantras. The enret trainers knew they needed to convert seniors to elders, or find alternative work for the seniors. Taking a number of years, eventually the enrets began to remove the stagnation. For new counsellor enrets there was a need to ensure that stagnation did not arise. Fundamentally stagnation arises out of conditioning, the conditioning says that something works, ego accepts that the conditioning works and we have stagnation. When enlers gained more and more experience this became more of a problem. That experience became a double-edged sword. Seniors had seen it (all?) before so they applied the same technique – without enquiry. Counsellor enrets were encouraged to value their experience and the experience of others but make sure that they brought enquiry to each new situation. This became the 3 E’s – Enler is Enquiry plus Experience, very soon the 3E’s. Implicit in the 3E’s was self-SEEing. Enret trainers learned to SEE enlers so that they could train enlers to SEE themselves, if they couldn’t enquire about themselves how could they help clients enquire – help them SEE. As SEEing became more integral as ongoing training, the work of the enlers changed and the stagnation disappeared. Counselling became SEEing first. Each client worked to SEE themselves as they truly are. As the counsellor worked with both Yoxa, s/he began to SEE the Yoxa for who they were. Then when the couple were asked to see the other, the counsellor had already SEEn them and so could question the clients; in this way counselling built the relationship between real Yoxa and not images. Relationships started better When the relationships became between real Yoxa, not the fantasising images, the counsellors realised there had been an existing practice of stagnation at the cotlas that unconsciously required relationships to stay together when the real Yoxa were not suited – not compatible. Society required love and a loving relationship that was to stay together. When this love was BETWEEN IMAGES, love did not happen yet enlers had been counselling that the relationship stay together. Once enlers accepted that false relationships between images were happening, they changed a focus. They began to work with Yoxa before they contracted. Initially they went too far requiring enler approval for a contract, but that was quickly seen as intrusive and Yoxa then welcomed enler participation; after all we all know it is hard to SEE through passion. Some rejected any enler involvement but that grew less and less as enlers learned more about SEEing and Yoxa learned more how relationships between images would fail. Conclusion - permanence What we must always be careful of is thinking we have got it right – complacency. Yoxa can be dogmatons, it is in their “genes”. Yoxa can get stuck – stagnate. Following Gurudasa enlers developed a system they thought worked, and it did for those times. But nothing is permanent, so no system can have permanence built into it. There has to be enquiry for enhancement even if the structure is considered sound. And there has to be enquiry about the structure. Yoxa must remember their history and learn from it. Thank you. 20 minutes – fine. She went through it again – 18 minutes, better; she could use pause and emphasis. She looked across at Mo – asleep, and she closed her eyes. The plane arrived, they ate and slept leaving them a day to recuperate; both were well prepared and they had a gentle day planned. Towards the end she could not hide her weakness from her ill health so she feigned a headache – more of those deceptions lately, Mo returned to their hotel working a few hours as she slept. On the next day it was not the first time they had appeared on a platform together, and usually she went on last as Yoxa were more interested in her SEEing. She felt this was different so pulled weight ensuring that Mo followed her. As usual they were interested in SEEing, her talk was well received and she announced Mo’s talk; there was brief gentle applause as he rose to speak. “Kotahi has just described a stagnant system healing itself, and we must all be grateful that our system is strong enough to enable such healing,” he started generously and the audience responded in kind. “But in all honesty, I cannot say that enlers have healed from stagnant spirituality. I apologise for being judgemental when I describe our system that has made only a token response,” he paused feeling the quiet – almost shock. He looked across at Taee’s quizzical expression. What she had thought was to be a momentous talk was beginning to sound like a resignation – if not suicide. “Let me be quite frank, my early contacts with the enlers were borderline repressive,” he started threateningly. “Is the word stagnant sufficiently strong to describe a system, counsellors in that system, who were going to recommend healing therapy for a person expressing spiritual love?” “Looking around at you I see anger,” he paused ““Haven’t we changed?” you ask indignantly. “Aren’t there now spiritual enlers in case we slip?” And to this I agree, I accept trhere has been improvement - no more therapy for the spiritual. But this response has now become token. There has been a positive response to Taee and those calling for SEEing, and this response has included training and development towards SEEing. And such an approach has got to be in some way spiritual. But at best that is a partial substitute for spirituality – in the pure terms of the spiritual path enlers have not significantly developed, they have just accepted this path in a token way.” He could see their anger, anger that would have been more vehemently expressed if there was not the courtesy always offered to a platform. But their anger was not going to stop him. “Gurudasa was spiritual; love was her path but fundamentally she was spiritual,” he began again; they felt safe with Gurudasa, weren’t they all followers? “But are we truly spiritual following in her path? Or maybe that is what we are, Yoxa following her path instead of our own? Our system has accepted the occasional spiritual enler, our system has accepted the need for SEEing, but where is the overall spirituality?” Again, he could feel their anger but he wanted to create that anger. Sure, most of it would be directed towards him, but some would look internally to see the source of that anger; he just hoped that the internalising of some would be enough. “Undoubtedly the system of Yoxa is well,” he began sucking them in with positivism, “is it fair to criticise enlers when their counsellors have accepted SEEing? And accepted SEEing well as demonstrated by the last speaker.” “But whilst the call of Gurudasa was love, it was love and spirit,” emphasised Mo “have we fully embraced spirit in our system? When our counselling helps relationships, do we then encourage Yoxa to follow their spiritual path? When our enlers, through enret and 3E's, develop the faculties of SEEing, does our system then take them further into their paths?” “On one level we have ended stagnation but there is a stagnation on our spiritual paths – and the occasional spiritual enler does not end that stagnation,” he carried on verbally knifing the wound. “Where is our faith in the path?” And so began the history he knew many would not listen to because of the word faith. “Under the Pasur faith was appropriated, the Pasur said use your faith to believe this and there will be social benefits for you. Because in Pagan society faith had been used as religious dogma to divide Yoxa society, the Dogmatons reacted and threw religious faith aside along with all the exploiting practices of the Pasur. “But this did not free faith up for the path, instead faith was misplaced again in the need for adherence to Dogmaton policy. Again Yoxa society was divided as we followed either the Dogmatons or the Creatives. But where was genuine faith - the magnetic force that takes us onto our spiritual paths? It was still rejected because of Pasur history. Unknowingly Creatives used their faith in their work, but most did not associate their Muse with the path. So their work was not an act of faith in the path – even though it was positive and contributes well to a spiritual society. “Gurudasa called all to follow the path, but instead of following path Yoxa have followed teachings. Their faith has clung to Gurudasa’s teachings but has not led to the wisdom that has within it the constant enquiry that is now limited in our counsellors - limited in Yoxa. “So we continue to be mostly faithless, and whilst we could consider ourselves well we are distant from the path – that distance can be narrowed by utilising our faith. “Some will argue they are following their paths, mainly through their methods for perfecting vihars. Yes this was Gurudasa’s teachings, yes the methods originally came from Gurudasa; but they are known methods and teachings. Yoxa say they have faith in these but faith in the known is not faith to follow their paths; this is faith that has become known beliefs – known ideals – stagnation. “Faith is there to take our quest into the unknown, not for our paths to stagnate but for our quest to move on – to learn from the unknown. Where is this advocated? In a few of our Residences – not even all of them. Our enlers were safe, they promoted love and we accepted the need for love. With this safety came stagnation as enlers sought healthy relationships through romantic love, did they consider the unknown of spiritual love? “Through enquiry relationships became healthier through SEEing, enlers developed further on their paths through SEEing but it was all known; they all followed - had faith in what was known. But the gift of faith is not provided for the known, it is to give us strength in our journeys into the unknown. “Yet enlers do not talk of faith nor do they talk of unknown, nor do they encourage a faith-based quest for Yoxa to follow their paths. This is the real stagnation that enlers and Yoxa in general need to remove. Get back to Gurudasa’s quest, have faith in the quest into the unknown,” he concluded and sat down – amidst silence. He looked over at Taee’s shock, she would understand soon – that night. Holding his hand and giving him kind words, she was concerned for the plenary – after two more speakers. Whilst Mo had excused himself, she sat silently through the last two speakers, not noticing him give the note to the convenor. “For the sake of plenary harmony,” the convenor read out “I, Mokeroha, excuse myself from the plenary. Use your anger to enquire - not to blame me.” And to be fair there was harmony as safe questions were asked, and acceptable answers given. Shattered, Taee returned to their room – a little angry with Mo herself. As she walked in she saw familiarities, things she felt at home with. There was a candlelit dinner – without candles, without the table, without the music; that was not their life. But there was her favourite food. And plates, for some reason she had always liked certain crockery – quality but not expensive; he had found similar. Knowing she loved their home, not being able to bring that with them, some little familiar things were enough. Relieved he saw her anger turn to surprise - and some calm. He motioned her to sit down not with the food for the moment; she did. Sitting with her he apologised. Beginning with an apology for the conference, he just said enigmatically “it will be clear”. But there was a deeper apology, the apology that said he had been blind to her for so much of his life, and he looked to her and half-mockingly knelt down and said “I love you, will you marry me properly?” Tears came into her eyes. She now knew what all this meant, and she answered “yes” immediately. “I have loved you ..”. she began. “Since the Residence,” Mo interrupted disarmingly. “I am so sorry that I had not SEEn this because of my quest.” “I accepted your quest,” she muttered through her tears “I would not have had it any other way. You couldn’t have followed your path any other way – your path was not to love me.” “Then,” he answered “but now ....” He could not finish as she kissed him, and held him as if there was nothing else anyone could possibly do. And so began their real contract of devotion. Next/Contents/Previous