Public Domain Science Fiction Writer Mokeroha contents Wai Z contents

They began their life together travelling – slow travel, but travel with a purpose – to find a place to live. But Mo noticed this travel search had to be quick as Taee was straining herself; they never spoke of her health but he was always considerate - perhaps to a fault. They looked to remote scenic areas – the beach, mountains, lakes – but they had all lost their natural touch as many Yoxa would like to visit. Finding an island they thought would suit, they soon found they were embroiled in a Yoxa-ner community – non-locals. To begin with their commonality of island life drew them together, and they could talk of living in a getaway. But very quickly that soured because these Yoxa were fundamentally selfish, often trashed the local Yoxa-ock, and their selfishness took them into repetitive escapism. The Yoxa-ock lived a separate life from the Ners, and it was a lifestyle much to be desired by Mo and Taee now. Not that they could live as Yocks – just that there was something to be admired. What they wanted was to live inside but outside a Yock community, of course as Ners they could never be completely inside – but there was a mutual level they could seek. They found a small village, a pleasant roomy house, and a nearby centre for provisions and “civilisation”. They had found their retirement. There was a characteristic of Yock life they admired, they had an expression for good Yoxa – joodee; very soon the village took to calling them the Joodeeners – Mo and Taee never knew. For a while they filled their days with shopping, trips to the beach, visits to a nearby lake, and coffee shops in the centre, Yanat. To begin with Mo was far too attentive – devoted – making up for lost time. Taee loved it yet at the same time it was too much for her. It was a kind of smothering, not repressive - but just over the top. Never complaining, she just looked for ways of letting him know; she needed to make time for herself. This began with Tikka, the lady from the village who came and cleaned; Mo had been doing it but despite his mindfulness it was not something he wanted. This gave Taee a glimpse into village life but no more than a glimpse because neither of them wanted to know the language enough to converse. Tikka did for them and this gave them more time together, but for Taee this was also a problem – they had more time together. Her solution came from Tikka, and Mo started teaching at the local little school. Yocks were always keen to learn Nersa language – ambivalently keen, they wanted Nersa because it gave them access to money yet they didn’t want it because Yoxa-ners lived very differently to Yocks. But teaching the little things gave Mo some meaning, gave Taee some space, and built up the cred of the Joodeeners. Slowly Mo and Taee began to embrace retired life, and for both it soon became the best times of their life. There was no guilt nor the selfishness of other Ners as they had given much in their different ways. Whilst their joodee slate was always full because of Mo’s teaching, the villagers were happy with them as they kept to themselves. Walking around the village and out onto the farms, they smiled with the Yocks but never much more as they couldn’t pass the time of day. But that was OK, the Yocks didn’t want to let them in and they didn’t want to be let in. The days took on a shape. Together they would lie in their warmth listening to the birds before rising late. Out into the sun they did Chi Gung for about 20 minutes and then go to their spaces to meditate. Of course, Mo had a study. There was a bookcase but it was ornamental – he didn’t seem to read much now and if he did they were always on his computer. Taking to writing novels he put it out there anonymously – never knowing if it was read; that didn’t matter, he enjoyed the writing and was amazed at his own storylines. Taee barely listened, she was just glad for him. Taee’s space was a balcony cum conservatory – you would go through a small room out onto the balcony. She replaced one of the walls with a huge window so in the room she could look out onto nature, and on the balcony she could sit in nature. After the late starts they would be in their spaces until brunch when they would eat together before Mo would do his teaching – it started with two hours in the early afternoon. But a year of that made it feel like work so he reduced it to one – often followed by a coffee as two hours space suited Taee. Then they would get to the beach where they soon got known. The beach was a place for a few Ners, who got to know them. But these Ners were not for them. There was too much escapism but not escaping in nature, and they found a tree where they were on their own – sat together looking at the waves that became sea that became waves again. After the beach they would drive to the shops and occasionally a restaurant before they returned home for coffee and a movie. They never spoke of enlers, Mo maybe wrote about them. Their lives had been about enlers, what more could they have done? Erstwhile colleagues would contact them, and to begin with they would meet them in the city near the airport. But going up was a strain especially for Taee. So occasionally erstwhile colleagues came to stay but despite their graciousness they started to know that was not a place to visit. Some then stayed in nearby hotels but that quickly stopped because Mo and Taee were not now interested in their lives. Ofcourse they would love to help but despite their known wisdom Yoxa never came to seek help - to seek that wisdom. They came to talk about enlers, enler-politics, enler-life, but it was never to ask for wisdom; they should have been asking but they never did. Enler-life was enler-life, you were in it or not. Both Mo and Taee saw this as a weakness, but neither of them were interested in being that active any more - to take on that weakness. But they could give advice, Mo even offered to give talks. But it never panned out. Whilst they both still had much to offer, the enlers were too immersed in their own speeds and could not slow down to appreciate the wisdom at a slower speed. It was not only old enlers that were put out to pasture, they both mused. So life became the Joodeener recluses, and neither regretted it. Soon all that was past was left there, the SEEing in Taee’s books and papers, the spiritual enlers and the lack of committed spirituality in Mo’s talks, books, papers and proliferations. And soon time took their wisdom and put it in the past as enler-fashion forgot what was in there that could have been timeless. And they both neither had the energy nor desire to put them straight. They maintained their contact details and could have been found, but they had to accept no-one wanted to find them. This was natural, now they were old they saw more clearly the way nature was. But there was sigbnificant gratitude, they had found nature that had been lost in all their enler activity. Days became months and a few years, and there was nothing they wanted for. Taee focussed on their health taking the excess spice out of Tikka’s cooking, and finding the healthy ingredients and limited organic foods. She wanted to grow but she was not up to it and Mo’s green was all theory. They thought of a gardener but decided that was too much intrusion. So they made do. Yocks had their own traditional healing – some of which had been appropriated as Ner alternatives; they both used them in their efforts to avoid chemical intrusion in their bodies. Especially for Taee these healers became necessary as her health began to fade. Mo just watched, took his lead from her, and learnt from her never to complain or fix – just accept. Eventually her health started to alter their days, less of the beach, the lake, the shops, fewer coffees. More she spent time in her space but they always came together of the evening for their movies – even if she slept. More Mo would be seen on his own at the beach or walking by the lake, she wanted it that way and he now loved those times. One evening she paused the movie, and told him “I have loved our time together – all of it,” she confirmed. “I love your devotion here in our retirement,” she smiled at him “I am free but I know you are always there for me. It could not be better.” “I should have been there for you more when I was off making the world spiritual,” he said guiltily. “You couldn’t have,” she mocked him “that young man could never have been devoted to one person.” He looked at her and began laughing as well. “And I would have hated it,” she continued “how could I have possibly been happy if you were giving up for me?” “But you loved me back then,” he pouted, his guilt confusing him a little “and all I did was call you camouflage.” “Maybe so,” she granted “but I was happy with that .... and I had my SEEing. You have to know that I SAW you back then and knew what I was doing.” She paused “I SAW the spiritual campaigner and loved him. You didn’t SEE my love because you had fashioned this camouflage. But you gave me nothing but respect, and that was more than enough .... back then,” she paused. “And when you loved me that was such a bonus,” she turned and touched his hand “my life took an unexpected completion. I couldn’t have been happier. Here in Yanat has been wonderful.” “Wonderful – slow and happy,” he muttered quietly. “I know you, you will still feel guilty,” she mocked “but that is just your image and need for perfection. There is no need for guilt, for my part my path has been more or less complete.” She restarted the movie, and soon fell asleep with her head resting on his shoulder. Later he woke her for a drink, and soon they were in bed feeling each other’s warmth. He watched as she quickly slpet until he eventually drifted off. Two weeks later he was teaching, phoned and she told him to go the beach. When he returned, she was in her chair in the inner conservatory. He started to wake her but she looked so peaceful. She must eat, and he touched her gently .... There was a stillness, an awry stillness. And she had passed - passed gently peacefully. He called Tikka, she contacted the Yock authorities and they had a quiet funeral before the cremation. Sitting there in the wat for the customary three days, he felt tears coming and going, guilt trying to get a hold with her words defeating the ego, memories coming in and out, remembering her love - their love. After the cremation life was a shell even the kids couldn’t snap him out of, he taught but it was not the same. The beach, the lake, the shops – even their house, they were all his life with her. It was all finished. But you’re not finished, that voice said. I know. He still had the energy to travel. He gave Tikka the contents and cheaply sold off the house. Packing sufficient in his bakkie, he drove. For a while there was new nature, a new beach, a new lake, a new mountain walk, but then it was not new. Or at least it was sort of not new. More and more the study mattered. There was a new beach, a nice old house to rent, and he holed up for a while studying. He was present, it was there, he could even feel Taee encouraging him, but it was not right. His studying was taking him to wisdom, where had he first seen wisdom? Where had he first come to know wisdom? And he went back, back, before Taee’s love, before the camouflage ..... and there he was in the hut again. His mind wandered those mountains again, and felt at home; he returned to the Residence to perfect his wisdom - before he died. Contents/Previous