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THE ARICO CHRONICLES

3) The Light

When he was young Arico turned to drugs, what else was there? He had to get up and do what they all did, and it was just shit – slavery. He went to school, and learnt that all was good, that his society was helping the world, that the people from other countries were trying to destroy their way of life – their way of democracy and freedom. And it all sounded false. But then he was weak and stupid. Around him they all did this stuff so he did. He got in trouble for being stupid, not paying attention, stupid jokes, but he mostly did well so he angered the teachers but no more. Just stupid and immature, not enough to threaten the authorities.

The drugs started at his higher education, but more were doing it. This was the rites of passage their society allowed. Students were educated to be the bosses of the future, let off steam …. why not? Maybe even protect them from the law, drugs didn’t matter so long as the students worked. Arico did all this, and came out as a computer tech.

And he started work where they said “forget all you have learned so far”, your real learning starts here. And it did, but not in the way they had expected. Because he stopped being stupid and immature, the drugs were still there but he was beginning to see through them. He had to be careful, drugs and career success were what they watched – their benchmarks of control; he couldn’t reject both without drawing suspicion. He knew enough to keep up with the drugs socially but he toned them down. When the drug rituals drew him in he learned tricks so that the drugs didn’t affect him so much. He began to realise that many of the highs from the drugs were because he wanted highs; he wanted out of what he had grown up in, he wanted out of this slavery.

In work he did what was expected but he intentionally dumbed down. As a child he had been stupid and immature, he found this a good cover as adult. He did just enough and watched. And as he watched he saw what was around him – he saw the increasing dark; that was hard to cope with. He wanted to shout this out, he wanted to scream “Beware of the dark, look where we are going”. But he knew enough to shut up. The more he saw of the dark, the more danger he saw, the more he knew to be frightened of the powers behind the dark – the super-rich no-one ever saw.

But now that he was aware of the dark he had to move forward, Nature has to do. He had to learn. They had given him qualification, tools for the job, but he had learned nothing – except to be a slave. As he was not going to be a slave he had to learn about himself – to learn what they didn’t want him to know. He had to learn the new whilst unlearning the old – all whilst being a slave.

He remembered when he had come to this light. In his room after work – he began calling it a cell. Bog standard. Bed, armchair, tv and microwave. All provided by the firm at a cheaper rate. Why would you pay market prices for more when this was so much cheaper? Of course you didn’t keep it if you lost your job, where would you go then? He had been ill at work, and they sent him home but he arrived home feeling better. He was lost, after work they always went downstairs to the company entertainment centre where they drank, took the drugs and enjoyed themselves. He was supposed to be ill, he couldn’t be seen there. So what was he to do?

His mind was used to the drugs wanting a high, but without drugs it looked for something else. It started racing around, I want drugs, I’ll go downstairs, I can’t go but I want drugs so I go downstairs but …. On and on the mind went in circles, and he went with the thoughts; he thought those thoughts were who he was. In his head he went round and round, round and round, it seemed like hours; he felt such a mess. And then a voice just said “look at what you are doing, stand back and look at what you are doing.”

Stand back? What does that mean? His thoughts were racing round, then stand back, who was to stand back? Then he started watching the thoughts running round, and he thought this is stupid. And he took a step back. Inside his head suddenly a space opened up, and from a distance he watched as these thoughts ran around. Then from that distance the thoughts slowed as he started to think about who was watching. Then suddenly the thoughts stopped and there was a stillness in his mind. He sat with the stillness, and all was calm …. until there was no he, just stillness. At peace, he was at peace. And the peace overtook him. From out of the stillness came this peace, and it grew. It started to fill his head until all inside his head was peace. From inside the peace he looked out of his eyes. His eyes followed the contours of his body, and the peace joined in. His chest had been pounding whilst his mind had been racing. The heart slowed down as peace entered. Placing his hand over his heart he felt the peace enter. Stretching his right arm out to touch the horizon the peace went from his chest down the channels of his arm to his fingertips, stretching the other arm out the peace jumped across coming back up the other arm back to the chest. And then it started again, down the right arm, jumping across and back up the left – full circle. As the peace circulated in his arms, his eyes wandered down to his feet, and again the peace followed down the right leg, crossing over to his left and back up to his solar plexus.

He stood transfixed as these two circles of peace travelled independent of him. What is independent of him? And the circles went on their way whilst he rested in his heart watching. After what seemed an age the circles started to diminish and centred on his heart where he was watching, and he felt a deep compassion for all around him, his parents, his neighbours, his colleagues, the bosses that were squeezing him, for all he sent out compassion. And what started as a compassionate thought just became a light centred on his heart, and this light left his heart, out up above his head showering all around with its glow.

Then instead of being a point in his heart he became a wave and followed the light. He was a light wave, he was the compassion. All around him was compassion, he was all around him – whatever that meant he didn’t understand. But he didn’t try to understand, he just went with it – went with the compassion.

After a while it all gently subsided, and all returned to the stillness that had begun with all those endless circular thoughts. Stillness that was an end to his slavery. An end to slavery …. he sat down exhausted and drifted off into sleep.

He woke a few hours later but it was still the early hours. Wow, it had been momentous. This was his way out, the end to his slavery that insight came back to him. Why? Because in the stillness they cannot touch you, you are in control. Whenever you want control you return to the stillness. Where did that come from? After what had happened to him, there was no need to answer – it was true. He had the tool to cope. Sure he had to work but when they were getting to him he would retract to the stillness. He would reduce the drugs where he could but when they were heavy he would retract to the stillness. And in the stillness he could do his work – just enough for the immature fool that he was, but not enough to get sucked into all their power games – enough to get by. He slept until the company alarm woke him for work.

Over the next few weeks work passed like a breeze. His outer shell played the dumb and immature, he appeared to want all the drugs, but he kept the stillness of his inner space. Then as this started to be second nature he began asking what was it all for? Yeah, he could help himself but was that enough? Was that compassion? He would soon find out.