Public Domain SciFi Writer |
LIDORS - A REBIRTH |
STEP ONETHE FORAMPS |
THE SNAPPING
It started with a chance encounter. There to meet an old friend, the conversation began. Introduced as Skifi for the first time he became excluded from the chat. As with Friday chatter this minor inconvenience turned to envy. Still that was not too important but then it worsened. Skifi, what is science fiction? Confident now - his territory, Skifi answered that the endings allowed deeper investigation of philosophical questions. His arrogance rested; although he hadn't given it thought this was his terrain. Pause homed in. It dawned on him, his terrain was lost - the arrogance of past success had been destroyed....quite rightly. She said you haven't said anything yet. The acquaintance smiled agreement - too polite to voice his obvious question......I've given him Skifi, it's a misnomer. The rusty pen ruled the day or worse....no that question mustn't be asked. But that pause haunted him. Vanity? Hurt pride - all piled into...What is science fiction? It was the moment, everything hinged on moment.
He remembered back again. There was another pub, and a buzz! These buzzes had been very rare once he'd gotten over the easy gifts offered by the repressive middle-class upbringing. The last one had been on the pool-table, but that had no quality! This was a world-beater, the sort the artist searches for. His depressed teacher mentality had hinged on the style of the beer-throwing, taking that as a moment and building a book of all that was wrong with education. He had thought it was the total scenario but now he knew. Learn about the moment. That is the lesson, the power of moment the infinity in moments. Buddhist doctrine rang bells though phrases didn't materialise. It all was enveloped by moment. The two moments combined. Science fiction uses moment.
That says it but he grew an analogy in the bath. A pencil - take it. It writes. Life is total in its function, in the way it writes. You can closely examine part of the pencil but it has no meaning without its whole function. His mind wandered, his eyes strayed through the window at the untended bedsit garden. It is the moment: without knowing - yeah? - he snapped the pencil. He looked at the jagged edges of the break and he watched as his hand moved the point further away. It was his life......like two halves separating in existence. He became unhinged but his mind stayed with him .. JUST. The point led him further away and he went with it. Fatalistically he looked back, and he saw HIS body sitting there below him. Shittttt!, his ego panicked.
His hands were arched in front and the pinnacle was formed by the invisible umbilical that would have been the functioning pencil. Umbilical? Another moment as the point led him. Where? He was really beyond questions, and what good would an answer have been. All that registered was umbilical.....hold on to that Skifi. All became blank, the emptiness of silence that is fuller than any noise. And he travelled. One pointedness came to him in irony but only as an afterthought because all he did was follow that point. He focussed involuntarily, maybe, and in the focussing he moved through energy, sound, light and then pattern. And it was the pattern that was the journey end. For he had found a match - a floating thought - and that match was gaining him substance. The point of the pattern widened and as it did he began to drift down layers. And in that drifting powers of mind returned. Intuition relating to substance, reason, desire, instinct, emotion, senses. His mind screamed ....and ran.
He awoke, the last he remembered was working at his desk, that marking always sent him to sleep. But he was pleased, he didn't often dream, however scaringly, during term time. He uncurled himself and rubbed his back against the wall, he had to go to the storehouse to get his rations - Vernica would souch him a tune if he didn't. He imagined the souching watching her nostrils vibrate, and the scales on the right of her head rising in anger. He enjoyed winding her up..........Scales, vibrating nostrils. He rubbed his eyes, he was still dreaming. He shouted in pain, his claw had jabbed underneath a scale. He remembered his dream, descending at the end of the pattern. He caught a glimpse of what he could only describe as reptilian?? His mind ran again... but not as far. Back again, reptilian? The glimpse grew. The pattern descended and he entered... NOoo..entered the centre of the Lauchidoran.
And at the centre - by now he was resigned - he became Skifi, Sokifa the healer. Instinct took over and the image of another reptile trilling mildly in his head, took HIS body to all fours. Ouch a pain shot up his right fore-limb. Gingerly he lifted it from the ground and a large tongue rapped itself round the limb. At the end one of his clawbones had snapped clean through and was now only held together by his strong, leathery skin. Vernica had come over at the sound of Skifi's pain, and began to apply a tourniquet competently. She had worked with him many times making the effort to learn skills to assist him even though her role as endeller was more important to their community. He was watching Vernica with admiration as her long, gentle fingers began to work on him. She took some of the anaesthetic lotion, the juice of the Garbon vine, and rubbed it just above his joint. Slowly he felt the pain subside and he watched apprehensively as she straightened the claw; and then, lining up the two twigs next to his finger, she strapped each end of the splint. With the wound still open she applied a vine-based, healing ointment, and then completed the operation by wrapping round a compact compound of leaf and moist earth to act as protection. Swiftly the job was done and only then did she ask how it happened.
"When I awoke it was broken, no explanation" they both shrugged. They understood not to ask more yet. He smiled, and said "I'll still go to the storehouse." She nodded.
On three legs he slid out of their home and once outside he stood up and putting greater emphasis on his tail for balance he moved circumspectly to the storehouse. With this break I must take the long route today, he thought and Skifi moved off to an area which seemed less dense. There were trees around, tall, thin trees that looked shawn of any bark but, he found out later, its bark was a thin, invisible coating, akin to varnish, which was a secretion that oozed from the trunk at the end of the warm weather (their Summer) and hardened into a transparent coat. Around these "bare" trees were entwined many vines of many varieties. He recognised one as the Garbon vine whose dried stems had been used for the splint. But there were many others, and they appeared in some odd way as cultivated; there was no wild clammering by every growth in sight for sunlight, food or rain. They grew but there was much space. He looked near him. There was one of these Garbon vines growing round the artoc tree. It entwined itself around the stem and about fifteen foot above him the vine then stretched across to another of the artocs. It might not seem much but it was very convenient for Skifi because it gave him a pathway.
They were now at the storehouse. There was a shrill greeting and it was only then he realised the language was different. Different ... it wasn't a language it was a collection of lyrical sounds, trillings. How could he know? Try for some logic. He heard through the Lauchidoran's ears and what he heard became words to him. If he heard the Lauchidoran language, how ?.....he had no ears. Unless there was still with him that which could become ears!? Also who was translating? No there was no translation, it was simultaneous, both Skifis heard at the same time. Enough! Rhetoric on Earth always went in circles, just that now there were two starting points.
The shrill was "Hi, Skifi! How you? Vernice?"
"Both slippy. Yourself, Toma" Toma raised his forelimbs for greeting and only then noticed Skifi's finger. "What happened?"
"I woke up this morning and it was snapped, I don't know what happened." Toma looked at Skifi puzzled, still he knew his eggmate well enough to know if he wasn't going to say then.....
"You'll still be at the gathering tonight then, there was another report that the nomads had infringed on the far end of the wood two days ago."
"We both will. It worries me greatly. You know I feel that the city is moving out and affecting us." He saw the doubting look in Toma's eye - he'd expected it. "Well Vernica said that she'd had trouble reading the dell lines."
"She can't have been well...you egged her?" He knew Toma was winding him but he was sick of all this traditionalism. But Toma had registered a doubt, he knew Vernica was the best endeller in their community and if she was having trouble detecting the dells then that was bad news indeed for them.....and Lauchidor. Toma pointed to a stack in the corner of the store and asked "You are using the pathway today?" Skifi looked frustratedly at his finger and nodded. "Use my loggie then."
Skifi began to walk back home and with his tail around the vinehook pulled along the supplies. He had a bit more time to think, and he was totally at a loss. He had accepted that in some way he had been transferred into this reptile.....no he mustn't think of him as a reptile. A reptile is an earth creature who is a mindless being whose level of existence has not got beyond instinct. At least that's the popular view of the ignorant, himself included. Here was a Lauchidoran with a home, a beautiful wife and a respected position in the community.
He remembered the feelings towards Vernica, they weren't reptilian - not animal instincts. There was a deep affection, respect, admiration and love - he knew they were qualities beyond the awareness of earth reptiles. On earth there had been dinosaurs but they had died out, was this some alternative earth where it was primates who couldn't survive? Pointless speculation, remember to remove reptile bias! His mental meanderings had whiled away the journey, they had returned.
"Damn I forgot to tell Toma I would not be working today."
"He would know," smiled Vernica.
"Yeah, but I owe some time for the growing now." She looked at him, was he serious? He took his responsibilities too seriously, probably something to do with his self-realisation hang-up. Whatever, only he worries whether he works at all. She wasn't going to argue, it would have meant a fifteen minute rationalisation all of which meant he cared, and she knew that anyway.
"One day is acceptable," she said diplomatically.
"I am working in the field today anyway."
"Mmm," he grunted, then looked at her. There was a wide, benign smile and her large brown eyes stared straight back at him. He stared into them, laughed to himself and went into their home. "Gathering tonight" She didn't have to be told, she had pushed hard for it. Without showing, she was extremely worried, nobody can know how unnerving it is for an endeller to fail, it's like losing your sight. Inside the home Skifi relaxed; he must aid the healing garboni. Standing in the centre of their home beneath the point of their roof, he began his healing trance. He centred his body beneath the pinnacle and formed a tripod with tail and back legs. Then he placed his forelimbs in a circle in front with his claws pointing at each other, the width of his head apart. Gradually he felt the energy flowing as his body began to vibrate involuntarily. He concentrated his thoughts on his right front and tried to push the energy through his clawfinger and around his arm-circle. Skifi was amazed because he felt a great deal of vibratory movement in his body yet there had been no motor instructions from his mind.
He was aware that he would maintain this posture for some time so he began to examine his new home. Home? Not by his standards yet he knew it was the home by the feelings of familiarity, security and....personal space. But how to describe it? By outward appearances it was little more than a hole in the ground but the feeling was a lot more than that. The entrance had been circular - no more than three feet in diameter, but inside it was the size of a smallish cave. It was dug out neatly but it seemed quite barren, bare. No, now he looked more closely there were certain possessions tucked away, as if camouflaged against the background of the earthy home. On purpose? But he did notice something strange. This was obviously a clean place yet the vines were growing inside. Again they weren't sprouting everywhere but as if they were cultivated to form a ceiling pattern. Except in two or three places these vines grew down the wall, and again they seemed to belong there. Most unusual, by his way of thinking.
Vernica came in. She tapped Skifi on his head and paused a moment. "It is time I go to the centre. You could prepare the food you collected. In view of that gathering tonight I am only going to work the minimum - there's nothing urgent anyway is there?" They moved towards each other and brushed their mouths together. She felt his anxiety, and raising his arm she rapped her tongue gently round the break. "It will heal soon, healer." she smiled a concern stronger than any healing trance. And she went off to the workcentre to be assigned her task. Skifi then moved towards the kitchen - a "corner" of their home; here the vines seemed to be more overgrown. On closer inspection these vines were a kind of curtain for behind it was the first evidence of technology he had seen in the home. Being careful not to damage the vines he hooked his tail around a metal-like box and pulled it out. I hate preparing food, he thought.
This was his stove!! But how? From the food he'd collected earlier he picked up several rooty plants and lifting the lid he placed them inside the box. Then he took one of the vine-strands and gently began stroking it. A slight tingle seemed to vibrate through the room and then next he saw what could only have been water pouring into the "sink". Skifi stopped his hands and just as caringly replaced the vine on the wall. Then he began to wash the vegetables. Cleaned he placed some of them inside another compartment of the "stove" and then taking another of the vines he "plugged" it gently in and began the cooking. The vine cooking?
It was time for sleep, worn out by the trance and his mysterious fracture he needed to recoup his energy for the rigours of the evening. Without doubt tonight's gathering would be momentous for the Tuilley wood community. Now that his body was sleeping Skifi had control of the mental functions. So many questions, where to begin? His dilemma was solved for him by the power of Sokifa's mind, the gathering was so important that as soon as he entered sleep his mind began to focus on the problem. Gatherings were part of the Tuilley community life, they had been since the forming of the community. His mind drifted into memory. As a youngster he had been hatched many sonours away in a very isolated area where there was little to do but to survive. Their subsistence existence had given him very little interest in learning - there was not time - but he had attended classes for a while. In these classes they learnt much of the history of the Lidors but only that relevent today to help give a perspective on their community and its life. Although himself not part of the community he saw the advantages of their pooled resources and socialised work-schemes which gave time to develop more soulful pursuits. Whereas at home the three of them had developed all skills required for subsistence, here were experts who through experience had developed an efficiency which had so many advantages. But of course his home had to be run on the old lines. And it was until, and probably after, he left to learn.
At class one of the elders had recognised his potential and had encouraged him to develop his reading. Sokifa had found many surprising things. From his background he had learnt respect for his environment, it fed him and if used compassionately provided many power sources but he found that in history that respect had not existed. From early development Lidors had come out of the foramps and moved to the deserted plains. Initially there had been many territorial battles between foramps and plains Lidors. It appears that some of the plains Lidors had come into the foramps looking for workers. They had built large facilities in their plains to develop and produce foodstuffs en masse. These facilities had existed for some time but had reached a point where they would produce more than required for the plains. They went to the foramps to see if they would want them. The foramp Lidors in general were happy though they had a hard existence, and some were tempted with easy food. Parties of the foramps went into the plains in return for the food. After a while they began to realise that the Lidors with their pebbly-brown skin were not working as hard as their green counterparts. And also they were not being given the equivalent foodstuffs to the browns.
This was how it had started, their communities were offered cheaper food in return for labour and once a part of the plain cities with their trappings they were caught. For many generations greens went into the plains and worked hard for this "easy" food and gradually the greens at home had become totally dependent on the production of the plains. But still they were cheap labour. But now not only were the greens exploited but soon these browns found that they could use their own Lidors for the same. They started developing leisure goods, goods which had no real necessity but which gave Lidors comfort. There then developed in the city a group of browns who were using the desires of the other Lidors to make life for them so easy. But more and more the Lidors began to recognise the situation for what it was, and even though the ruling browns tried many tricks gradually their control was on the wane.
Tricks!! They could be called tricks but they set Lidor against Lidor. These ruling browns began spreading the idea that the greens were taking the foods from the browns. Historically this was obviously not true as it had been generations since the first greens were brought to the city. But this didn't matter because they controlled the communications and what is often repeated becomes known fact in time. These so-called tricks led to many greens being victimised and often killed just to satisfy the ruling browns. Of course the browns were innocent, they only owned the facilities they never killed anyone. They went right ahead justifying everything they did in terms of figures and production.
Both in the plains and in the foramps there were Lidors who were beginning to understand what was happening, and they wanted to fight. First it was Greens for the foramps and Browns for the plains, but after a while both groups realised that they were fighting against each other. It was not territory that they had to fight about, it was the ruling browns who were the common enemy. Gradually they developed systems of communication which enabled the different groups to inform everyone of the situation, and slowly over a period of generations there developed an awareness throughout the plains and foramps as to the real nature of their struggle. More and more this developed into the small group of ruling browns clinging to their riches enforcing it by barbaric use of poorer greens and browns who they used to kill their own Lidors. But soon even these began to succomb to the gestalt pressure of Lidor, and they laid down their arms.
Immediately the ruling browns had had their properties confiscated and they were sent to work in communities whose life had been virtually destroyed by their murderous lifestyle. It was strange to note that many, once away from the environmental fortress they had built for themselves deeply regretted their previous actions. But of course Lidorian memory had been hurt for a lot longer. But this was not the end. Many Lidorians had for many generations accepted that there was a need for more and more comfort. Now they saw the situation as a chance to develop these comforts. More and more there developed the split between the greens and browns along the lines encouraged by the earlier rulers until finally this developed into full battles. Soon they realised these were pointless and they resettled much along their original territorial lines. As time went on the greens reverted much towards their agrarian methods though often these were harsh because they were still trying to provide for the needs of trade with the browns. This became more and more difficult as gradually they began to revert to a level of natural resource that had existed during exploitation. They needed some strategy to overcome this.
For a long time there had been a call amongst the greens of a back to nature. This lobby had grown more and more as they had found that even without the ruling elite their environment was dying. Out of these death throes had grown a cult of nature worshippers. Their attitude was that whatever they took from the ground they gave back - a kind of recycling. But what was strange was that this cult found that Nature began to respond to them. It was found that by careful cultivation, combined with a respect for life itself, there developed a symbiosis between these greens and Nature. It was found that these Lidors had greater crop yields and soon there developed communities around these cultists. Over generations all the foramps had sprouted these Natural lifestyles and as the symbiosis grew so the capacity of the Lidors to work with their environment was enhanced. Over a period of time they found that the home-vines, which had been initially their camouflage, first became useful as water-carriers and then even as power-carriers. Green Lidors had always known the importance of their relationship with the countryside but with their being sucked into the world of the cities it became expedient to forget what came natural to them. Although this change came gradually in the foramps it was even slower in the plains. Of course these plains Lidors had originally learnt to survive, but their survival had been hard and vicious. Their pebble-brown camouflage had not been a defense mechanism but had been used for stalking prey - it must have been a carry-over from their carnivorous roots which had led to their more recent exploitative killings. It was necessary that the browns begin to co-operate more with the greens in production.
Gradually they developed a balanced economy with the greens. The greens maintained their growing rights but the browns became responsible for transport. The greens refused to allow any pollutant fuels and the browns recognising the good sense in this, in view of the developing symbiosis, formed a transport corps - these became the nomads. But there was a need for trade. The plains had the natural metal resource and the foramps produced the foods, within the foramps the communities planned their cultivation to suit their natural balance and this balance set the limits of trade with the plains. This natural trade balance had existed for many generations but now it was under threat, and this was the main topic for consideration at the gathering tonight.
Endelling was something Sokifa did not understand but he had learnt to leave it alone. Although he
respected the non-rational mind it was his very inability to function
on intuition alone which made him search for reasons - even though for
many what he saw as reasons they saw as imagination, or even paranoia -
especially lately. Mind you, love and respect are not the substance of
oratory and he would need logic to sway the dormant minds of his
community.
For many the endellers were a mystery but like all mysteries the
magic was created by ignorance and fear, rather than any extraaordinary
powers. Endelling had grown as a craft after the re-separation back to
the plains and foramps. Out of the original cultists came many wierd
stories, and grandiose claims, as to the ability of certain of the cult
to enhance the speed and quality of growth. These claims, when reduced
to the scale of fact, were substantiated by the science of the
open-minded but suspicion had become a byword of their corrupt society
so many preferred to keep the fantasy. After a while these claims came
to be recognised as true, like coincidence they were unscientific laws;
but there were other relationships with Nature which if interpreted
became useful to the community. Choice of crops, place of planting,
development of vine awareness became more than a faculty of experience;
it became a craft. Because not all were able to learn or develop the
techniques it developed an air of mystery. But it also gained a great
deal of respect through it's success.
Vernica tried to explain it to him "Endellers are only Lidors
who interpret the laws of Nature. Within Lidor society we all have a
role to play, sometimes planned, but more often a role we fall into
through ability. Well Nature is simply a grander society where each of
its creatures has a role to play. As Endellers we recognise this basic
law as a substantive fact and we are trained to recognise Nature's
patterns. Take this carreg it wants to grow, that is it's role. Within
Nature there is a place for this carreg which would optimise it's
growth and there will be an attraction between the carreg and it's
place. For an Endeller that attraction is an actual force that they can
detect and so they can discern the most suitable place."
"I can see the logic in that," she hated his rationalising
plausibility, it was so difficult to separate from patronising "but in
view of our symbiotic lifestyle why aren't we able to develop a
scientific measurement?"
"Because Nature has a place for science and Endelling need not
come within the scientific sphere. It functions adequately as a craft,
and society isn't suffering," she explained. She was getting
exasperated, her eyeballs were beginning to flare as the lids widened.
She felt her tongue darting inside her mouth.
"But don't you see that eventually you might lose the gift of
endelling and then where would we be?" She was getting angrier now, she
began bouncing on her tail.
"To be responsible to future society you ought to make an effort
to give this gift to all Lidorans?" She gritted her teeth, and gave him
a wide, hollow smile. The edge of her mouth glistened her defiance.
"I can see it would..."
He interrupted "You agree?"
"So why haven't you tried to...."
She exploded "Oh don't
use your reasons on me! Endellers know it can't be measured
scientifically, it is an art which is beyond the crassness of even the
most advanced technology. It is not meant to be measured it is a
measurement in itself - a measurement of the real Nature of society."
At this her cheeks growing fuller with each sound let out a high pitch,
and showing him her back she slid gracefully out of their home.
God,I don't think like that, he thought, yet so often talking
with her he said and did things which were beyond. Still when they
sorted themselves out there were things beyond in other ways. But he
wouldn't think of that now with the gathering happening soon. He
smiled, a glow reached out from him that could only be put down to
luck.
Sokifa woke from the strangest dream. Not surprisingly his
thoughts had gone to the gathering but all the while he'd been dreaming
he'd felt as if there was someone there - not as part of the dream but
with it. What did he mean? And a fractured finger unexplained? He
needed a shot of down-to-earth sanity.
"I'm home," she shouted, "Is the food ready?"
It must be burnt, thought Skifi, we've been sleeping.
"It's preparing now." Skifi noticed certain activity by the stove and
realised the movement had begun at the sound of Vernica's trill.
She slid gently through the entrance and collapsed silently on
her stomach at the side of their home. She looked tired - she didn't
enjoy labouring, and Sokifa held back his many deliberations. They
began with small talk; not his style but she appreciated the effort.
Anyway when she was tired she would talk about anything.
"Was everything fine in the growing?" he asked gently.
"Quite fine," she replied, although with a little thought she
said "given the recent lowering of the expected output. Our group will
make their quota and extra, so you needn't worry about your limb
injury." Pause, she realised he'd forgotten.
She continued "Toma asked
how you were, and he also said not to worry about your work-duty. He
said that the extra amount you have put in..." She tailed off, he hated
praise; it either embarrassed him or made him "lose a true
perspective". So righteous sometimes!
"One or two in the fields sent apologies for tonight, petty
excuses but no different than usual. Did you have a good day?"
"I slept most of the time, this injury must have taken more out
of me than I'm used to."
"That's good. Sleep is good for you especially with the way you
wear yourself out unnecessarily at these gatherings." She smiled
impishly, her plume swelling slightly above her right eye.
"Getting over the day are we?" he laughed. At that moment the
food was ready and Vernice moved underneath their pinnacle while Skifi
fetched the food.
"Very nice dear, you're such a good cook," she said mockingly;
in fact he was but she knew he liked cooking as much as she liked
working in the fields. They just didn't like chores but Skifi sometimes
pleaded enjoyment because of its social function. She never entered
into those arguments because they were so pointless, especially as he
often got vehement because of their very pointlessness.
They were enjoying this banter but it's superficiality
demonstrated the nervousness they were both feeling. It was one of
those awkward situations, Skifi particularly, though she did as well,
hated having anything unsaid and here was a time that they should
bottle it up. The more pent up their feelings the greater power they
would have at the gathering.
"I think part of the slack approach is to do with poor,
physical condition," she looked at him warily - he smiled soothingly to
remove her disquiet "It would be good to develop a greater physical
awareness within the community. You know those healing trances we all
use, they were once part of an ancient physical culture for wellbeing.
It is time someone made a fuller effort at introducing this into our
lives. Do you know of anyone who could run such a scheme, I am sure if
I suggested it Lidors would only think of me as a nagging healer."
"There is a new group who have moved into the far end of Lower
Tuilley swamp. If we see them tonight we could ask them....then again
tonight might not be a good time." They both smiled nervously at each
other.
Their nerves drew them together magnetically for comfort;
gently Skifi slid over and turning on their sides they clung to each
other their stomachs bonding them sensuously. Gradually Skifi slid his
tail around hers and then gently he pressed his jaws around her neck. She relaxed in his hold as her tongue mildly caressed the back of his
neck. Quietly they lay together for some time their nervousness being
gently dissipated for a short time, rather than a more energetic
embrace which could have equally likely ensued.
For a while their unity separated them from all Time but they
both began to tense up as the gathering neared. With a more violent hug
their peace was ended and they moved off......to the gathering which
would change their lives.
It had to, thought Skifi, otherwise why was he here? He would
argue against the existence of any sort of accident but of this
magnitude no-one needed telling there was a purpose.
Anticipating much struggle they arrived at the centre;
unfortunately because of Skifi's official communal responsibilities
they had to arrive early. As usual with these regular occasions
therewas much pomp; not gaudy but the sort of superficial, familiar
greeting used to hide nerves yet which looked natural and intimidating
to anyone who was new. At these times Vernica particularly made an
effort with new Lidors, and for once Skifi often found a charming
tongue to relax their natural diffidence.
But his official role also required of him that participation
which for him was ingratiation, although to all outward appearances it
was litle more than politeness. He greeted others of their community
committee, and they went over any minor forms of business which were
not quite unnecessary. Gradually as their start approached the centre
began not to seem so empty, but it would be an exaggeration to say it
was filling up - it was as you would expect attended by the committed
few and the average additional others whose count always seemed the
same even though the reasons for their presence were vastly different.
However something very unusual did happen just before the start of
the meeting. A tall stranger, a plains-Lidor, walked in - even though
it was mainly community business all were welcome - and as soon as
Vernice's gaze met his her tongue flashed out in the old gesture. Skifi
couldn't believe it but she was on edge. Who was the stranger?
Anyway they commenced proceedings. Various perfunctory
announcements were made, they were informed that the produce quotas
were being met although they gave their usual appeal for more effort -
their quotas were down on what they were five seasons ago. There were
one or two details concerning social functions, and as usual the petty
details for these became an open-forum discussion. Skifi complained
this wasted valuable time and disillusioned committed members of the
community, but he knew that there were few of these left and that
Tuilley wood would prefer the evening to be social discussion.
At this point Vernica was introduced as craft-lidor of the
endellers with a problem that the committee agreed should be discussed.
Her introduction was so stale it almost betrayed the pressure that
Skifi had used at the committee meeting - he still maintained great
respect even though it was waning.
She felt little enthusiasm at the introduction but a flutter of
surprised expectation greeted her because, although they knew and
respected her, she hadn't spoken at gatherings - this was well made up
for by her mate, they thought. In fact she only attended out of respect
for Skifi, and that was if there was no suitable excuse. With some
trepidation she began to speak "At recent meetings of the craft we have
been very concerned about certain of our failings in recent times," she
paused, glancing at the stranger. He had definitely unnerved her "We
wanted to raise this concern with you to allow you to comment." The
stranger moved disconcertingly.
"Many of the craft have not been feeling the dell-responses
essential to our work and without these our judgements can become
impaired - and that could become detrimental to the future of Tuilley.
Many months we have discussed this, we have re-examined our training
and considered the craft from all angles; and we are certain that it is
not a craft-failing. We feel that the dells are not now as strong."
She paused; their expressions, if not blank, did not show an
understanding of importance. The stranger's face looked amused, more it
was as if he was enjoying her discomfort - who was he? Why was he here?
"But what does this actually mean?" she asked for them.
"Originally we gained our reputation through our "magical" abilities,"
a rude grunt vibrated through the gathering, many dismissed it but
seeing Vernice's dismay Skifi began to study the stranger. She
continued, "our abilities to help with the crops. Simply we are not
able to do this as well because our relationship with the dells is not
what it used to be. They are clouded."
"I, particularly, consider this extremely serious and I feel
that if the craft's skills begin to wane then it is a bad time for the
community. The link between the craft and Nature is getting gradually
destroyed and it is urgent that the community begins to make efforts to
rebuild that link." She stepped back inviting comments, it had been a
real struggle because of the apathy - some understanding but not that
which is acted on.
"You have mentioned re-forging that link, surely that is the
role of endellers?" asked one member of the gathering.
We have moved away, she thought. "Endellers only interpret
what is there, they do not create that link; the link is of Nature as
are we. For some reason we have forgotten our place in Nature and so
are losing the required balance." The introducer, Felou,
interrupted, "Vernica, it would be good to be more specific if you are
asking for suggestions or help."
Skifi was worried, her plume was flattening out and this meant
she was beginning to lose patience - she could explode.
"Excuse my inexperience, these are endelling ways. I can try to
be more exact but that is not a way to understand the dells." He saw
her breathe in, this meant she was coming up front - he saw the
stranger's jaw widen with hangman's glee. "I am saying that Tuilley
Lidors are beginning to exploit Nature without giving in return, and so
they are destroying the dells."
At this, not surprisingly, there was mild uproar - the word
"exploit" had many racial memories and it was not a word used lightly.
Felou calmed the gathering "That is a very serious statement to
make, and as you can see it upsets the Lidors here. I would find such
words close to incitement if it were not," he pointed to Vernica. He
paused. "But even given your many contributions to the community it is
not a statement that should go without substantiation."
She knew it had gone all wrong, the dells were the first signs -
his "substantiation" could only come in time if they did nothing. She
tried "The dells are the first sign that the balance of Nature has
gone; the only substantiation I can give you is that the output of the
crops is declining; you must recognise that that means there is
something wrong."
"Tuilley has not had good weather, and there has been a strange
groundpest that has affected the crops." answered Felou.
"That sounds very plausible but why has the weather changed, how
did this pest strain develop - if it is a pest?" she answered but she
could see that the understanding had gone. Why weren't matters
worse?.....Nature was always too generous.
Felou could see that Vernica had finished, and if she hadn't he
wanted this stopped - he had listened to too much dell mystery he
would speak to him in the committee. He began to sum up "I thank
you....."
He was interrupted by the stranger "My name is Paudi, I am the
egg of Mabor the traveller. You have dealings with her?"
They did know her and they were cautious.
"Well I came here to say to you that your output is not
satisfactory and that I am getting many complaints from the plains. And
I am not surprised the output is down when I hear the kind of sorcerous
reasons that are being heralded as excuses for failure. If less time
were spent on magic and more at working efforts to improve production,
maybe there would be higher output." Paudi paused and looked around, he
was pleased with the response. It was obvious these greens didn't like
his brash interruption but greens were easily conned with hard work and
common sense (used for his benefit).
Skifi knew why Vernice's tongue had lashed out, his own had
much trouble remaining shut in. She was well beyond a political
response and he felt that was what was required.
"Paudi, on behalf of the Tuilley community committee, I would
like to welcome you to our gathering - we are glad to welcome any
newcomers - and it is especially good that travellers wish to
participate," began Skifi amidst the polite trilling.
When it stopped he continued,
watching his opponent carefully "Over many years we have used
gratefully the services of the endellers and many times we have been
saved much work through their arts, don't you agree?" There was a trill
of concurrence.
"Because we have lived with the endellers for a long
time we trust their instincts and don't always ask for explanation." He
looked pointedly at Felou, "I remember a time when we had planted half
our carreg stock and were told not to continue the planting for several
days. One of us ignored the advice and planted anyway, his stock was
lost in freak winds. Whether we understand why it works, it works.
Traveller we appreciate your interest but these are Tuilley matters."
Again a trill of approval "However I am very concerned that there are
plains Lidors complaining, it seems that they are maybe getting a
little greedy." He fed unashamedly on their old fears but this Paudi
worried him.
"There are complaints that the quality of the produce is not as
good; there are far too many illnesses in the plains - and amongst the
travellers. We all feel under-nourished." Paudi countered, well aware
of the greed trap - it was unarguable.
Felou took offence at this. "The illnesses of the plains have
to be seen as your lives not our foods," he said, "we are a caring
community and take good care of our crops." Surprisingly Paudi did not
continue the argument.
Felou wound up the proceedings. "We have discussed the issue
and have brought it to the attention of the gathering. Unless there is
anything that anyone particulary wants to say I will leave the matter
there.......until we have more concrete suggestions." Thankfully for
most the gathering was over.
As the gathering had been somewhat summarily closed, Skifi
wanted to avoid Felou with his analysis and recriminations. He was
particularly concerned about Vernice and he went to console her. "Your
plume is flattening," he looked at her caringly and she smiled but it
was an effort.
"Things are bad, very bad......much worse than I had thought.
We in Tuilley are in serious trouble.....and maybe not just Tuillley."
She was lost deep in woeful thought, her head shaking side to side and
her tail quivering behind.
He placed his tail on hers and moved close to her, his warmth
pervading through his body to hers. She was shaking badly, it was as if
she was beginning an endelling session. "Who is Paudi? He is evil. I
could feel him all the time in the gathering staring. but not just
that, it was as if he wanted to disturb - me, the gathering or even
Tuilley. You must find out why he is here. If he had wanted to he could
have been much more ruthless today, why wasn't he? He clouds my mind.
Please Skifi will you go and find out what he is doing?" Her big eyes
implored him and his heart fluttered but he was glad. He was not going
to allow that sort of disruption to go unquestioned. This Paudi had
deliberately tried to create trouble and he was sure that wasn't the
end. "I will speak to him now. Where is he?"
He looked around and saw him talking to Felou. What was he
doing now? He joined them, wearing a broad smile. "Did you enjoy our
meeting?"
"Meetings are not to be enjoyed they are to conduct serious
community business, but "he smiled lightly "I did find it interesting.
I did not know the endeller was your mate."
"Does it make a difference?" Skifi asked aggressively.
"No, of course not, but it is interesting that you were the
only two concerned about these dells," he observed wryly.
"Especially with the pressure you used on the committtee,"
interjected Felou.
Skifi glared at him but before he made any comment
or offered any justification Paudi quietened them. "Still it is not
important but I would like to consider the question of Quotas. Is it
possible to arrange to discuss with your controller ways of increasing
the stocks I carry." Very clever thought Skifi, create tension and
gradually slip in what is wanted. Felou was still seething with anger
and yet Paudi had managed to suggest something which went against all
normal forms of trade contact - increasing stocks because of an unseen
demand and not because of a good harvest. For Skifi the implications
were enormous.
"You know that the stocks you carry are set by our laws of
natural produce," Skifi asked controlledly.
"Of course I do, and I would not want to change that," his
smile was unchanging and his gaze was unflinching unless actively
confronted "but I am sure that if I gave you good reasons you might be
able to alter your agricultural strategies to accommodate them."
Felou was completely fooled, in fact worse he was taking
Paudi's side because of their previous conflict. "I am sure that any
requests that Paudi has will not conflict our social laws."
"Nor the dells," Paudi and Felou laughed but Skifi took it like
a knife in the tail as it was intended - he managed a brief smile. As
he slid back to Vernica, Felou trilled "I hope you will be in a better
mood when we meet." His forelegs were held up in mock greeting and
Skifi had to quickly turn away for fear his tongue would flash out at
the pair.
He reached Vernice and without a sound the two slid off home.
By now both had reached fever pitch and neither had the desire to
console, their respective calumny being well sufficient to contain the
hobbling chatter of their minds. Without conscious thought they had
immediately taken the longer route which would reach the edges of their
wood.
Slowly they slid along avoiding the water which at night was
known to be too sapping, and as the growth thinned slightly they stood
erect and began strolling home. Around there were the noises of the
foramp and even they seemed angry. In their state everything would seem
angry yet it was as if the gathering had been a turning point for the
foramp as well. Skifi watched as the moon's night light flashed through
the canopy as they passed. By his tail he saw a salam scoot into the
growth - he must take more care. Too much introspection. He tried to
turn off his internal mind-flood and focussed on the route. Despite the
regular noise and the air of dismay the night felt clear, certainly a
night to relieve the tension. He applied the trick of concentrating on
his steps. First the right, then the left and the tail in the middle.
Again - right left middle. Again. Slowly his mind calmed as all he
thought of was strolling. He took in the night more completely and as a
result he became more composed, his subconscious churning through the
evening's harassment for later evaluation.
As they strolled he noticed a lightening of Vernice's load as
she too overcame her own tension. Soon they would chat.
* * *
Meanwhile Paudi and Felou had been talking of old times, their changes
and the unfortunate need for some to persistently harp on about the old
times - stalwarts who see failure in every step which is not founded in
historical truth. Things had progressed so smoothly for Paudi that
Felou had invited him home but he had declined gracefully. How could he
spend much longer in the company of this fawning, ignorant sucker? "It
has been a long day, Felou, but thank you." He excused himself with
suitable aplomb.
* * *
"Both of us have suffered tonight," she said breaking the
ice, "Was that snake really so vicious?"
"More than we thought, and what is worse I don't know what he
is doing." he replied resignedly. "He has charmed the second tail off
Felou whose short-sightedness is limited to his own position on the
committee. The more I think about it, the further we are returning to
the mentality of the Dark Ages."
"This time will be worse, it is never the same second time
around. For a long time we have controlled our mind energies and
harnessed them for the prosperity of all Lauchidor, but if mind should
regain control the situation can only avalanche." Her venom, although
not directed at him, was frightening, why did she have such an extreme
position on what she called mind-control and mind-games?
"It seems we both feel there is a great deal wrong. You sense
it through the dells and I know that we are slipping back into the
traps of history. It has always been accepted that if we begin to
develop patterns of behaviour similar to those times we would
immediately call a halt and analyse the situation. Yet here we have a
traveller whose greed is demanding more produce.......at a first
meeting!" His exasperation showed and she couldn't help. His
preoccupation with historical comparison lost him much credibility with
Tuilley, he wasn't dealing with history it was Lidors trilling - the
great sadness is that it wasn't his true nature to live in history, it
was his mind-trap. Try telling him!
"What do we do about this?" she asked veering him away from
circular arguments.
"I don't know but we do seem to be out on an extra tail," he
answered "The more you discuss the dells and I discuss historical
imperative the less we are heard."
"Are we too dogmatic unable to hear Lidors' answers or are we
just wrong?" she said hopelessly.
"There is a stage at which dogma turns off the sound and that is
the fault of the doctrinaires," he continued wistfully "I am sure I
have been guilty of that." She looked at him her jaw dropping slightly
managing to withhold any comment. She contrived a smile. "But however
shallow their minds this is well past that stage, the signs are
everywhere if you open your eyes."
"You mean the dells," she grinned widely.
He laughed and
quickly flattening her plume he scampered off into the forest. She
chased after him catching him fairly easily, "Not so quick with only
three limbs and a tail," she motioned towards his broken claw and
threatened to grab it.
He moved back in mock fear holding the injury as
far from her as possible, then swiftly she slipped her tail under his
and upended him laughing her victory. He smiled as she slowly moved on
top of him and their jaws met. The tension gone they relaxed in each
other's grip as she gently played her tongue round his head. Then she
took his broken limb and began to gently suck it in her mouth. Moving
closer his tail began to gently stroke hers as they began to slip
together. He looked into her eyes, they had the glaze of happiness and
an anticipatory invitation. Slowly he turned her over and began to move
his tongue over her body licking off the loving secretions.
Slowly she moved down his body and with tongue and claws began
to play with his pouch. It was already soft and she began to ply it
until it was loose and she could feel the two separate prongs hardening
in her paws. Gently she pulled them together and with a grunt of
pleasure she pushed them inside her. Slowly she felt him sliding up and
down, and she moved her jaw round his body taking deep the smell of him
as his exertions activated his glands.
Now both were very excited. The events of the day were
sharpening their awareness of each other, their movements became
synchronised and more violent. Her tongue shot back and forth
automatically as she felt her self tighten around him. Her body
convulsed sharply and then she felt the juice flowing hotly down his
channel finally emptying inside her. He continued moving slowly and she
gradually relaxed drawing herself bodily to him. They hugged each other
for a long time, their spent energies bonding them in a protective aura
which was impenetrable to the outer world. Relaxed, calm they held each
other trying to retain the moment for as long as possible. Slowly it
dissipated as did his sex and as it withdrew they turned on their sides
and just gazed at each other. He stroked her now flattened plume
raising it up and then just moved his face next to hers - simply to
keep contact. She slid her tail and legs over to try and cover his
still alive tail, and they remained quiet breathing in the air of their
unsettled forest.
Skifi watched as the leaves rustled and the branches waved
gently in the breeze as if an accolade nature paid to their love. But
slowly they came down and each began to feel the chatterings of their
minds replacing the more natural calm of their communication. Sadly the
space had been replaced with the fallen tragedies of existence. As one
they stood to return home to sleep before their next aggravations.
They had moved some way from their original path so they decided
to stroll to the edge of the forest where it was much less dense, move
around and then slide directly home at the suitable point. As they
reached the outskirts they noticed lights from afar. These were not
the fluttering lights of the fireflies used by the Tuilley Lidors, so
they knew it was the flickering fires of the travellers. The last they
wanted now was to see Paudi. They moved back into the wood reckoning on
using the stream. As they moved inwards they had to move closer to
their camp and Skifi saw that they had an awfully strong fire. He
noticed Vernica perspiring and her eyes had widened - they must get
home quickly their exertions of the evening were beginning to tell. But
slowly her face grimaced and then she jumped.
Well not a jump, it was more of a start and it happened again.
At the same time he heard a loud noise - it was a short sharp sound
.......a chop. There again, they were chopping down the trees to make
their fires; no wonder it was such a blaze. They scampered off at great
speed so quickly that they almost ran into a food-growing area. That's
strange, they would have to be really ill to be so careless. And then
they realised it had been ravaged, much of the foodstuffs had been
uprooted; and they knew by whom. They were near the stream and they
slid in and their tails were absolutely worn out because they had never
swum so fast in their lives. They were very frightened, Paudi had such
gall he could try anything. In fear they curled up inside each other and
by their comfort fought off the anxiety and slept.
* * *
Skifi had watched the events of Sokifa and Vernica for a long time.
Obviously much perplexed him yet he had understood much that went on.
What had built up in him was a great respect for Vernica and also for
their relationship. As for Sokifa it was like looking at one's own
reactions. The responses and emotions were his own only triggered by a
world of different stimuli. OK Metaphysics what does that mean?
But what had staggered him most was making love. It was
difficult to describe, he was involved yet watching - a writer perhaps;
there seemed to be parts of him that almost participated as if drawn in
uncontrollably yet remaining a separate Skifi. Beautiful, it was a
different angle to see inside the head of their passion. Yet it wasn't
a passion for him but love. His heart intuited great beauty, it was an
observation no-one else could experience. A meditation of unity?
More was shaping up, he was learning much but a two-way
process?
At the end "I have a meeting with Paudi and Felou soon."
"I'm not coming," she snapped at him.
"I know," he said calmly, nodding his understanding.
"Be careful about what we saw last night, it will be
unbelievable for most of Tuilley." she said presciently "If you lose
control we could be in a great deal of trouble." He smiled ignoring her
matronly advice.
"I will work first it will prove my worth," he said.
"Things have gone too far already but you are right," and
touching paws she went into their home. She was writing farewell
letters , she knew they would have to leave quickly whether forced to
or not. She was developing a bad fixation about Paudi, he wasn't the
cause - it's far easier to blame individuals than systems - and
freinds.
When Skifi had finished his work he reported in to Toma who
smiled at his egg-mate. "You and V were on fire last night," he said
jokingly.
"A little, but anything to wake this group up, eh?" they both
laughed, eggmates knew each other too well to break a stand-off.
"We're going to start seeding the new area that Vernica pointed
out: you know, down by Stigstream. We certainly need a good crop of
beegs, they seem to have suffered one or two failures. In fact," he
paused with import, then deflated, Skifi hardly ever listened to his
chat "The beegcrop seems to be one that has suffered the most. It's
strange, you know." Toma seemed lost in his speculating.
"What?" Skifi asked.
"It's only certain areas which have been badly affected by this
pest, and most of these areas are planted with beegs." Toma replied.
"Where were these beegs planted?" Skifi asked.
Toma's mouth opened with surprise. He looked questioningly at
Skifi, he's riding me; but no the question was in earnest. "This year
the endellers said to plant the beegs near the outskirts." He mused
"The advantages with beegs is that once they are planted they need
little caring, yet they are our most important food source. Beegs must
have good dells, eh?"
"Why has it failed?" Skifi ignored the quip.
"Well it seems that the beegs are most susceptible to the new
pests," Toma explained.
Skifi's eyes lit up. Cover up! But what could he do? He
couldn't blame the travellers, Tuilley just would not believe it.
Besides it's easier not to, who wants conflict? He saw now, Paudi was
having a real laugh destroying the crops and then everyone blaming the
dells. He thanked Toma abruptly and stormed off to meet Felou and the
thief. Vernica's warning was nowhere.
Meanwhile Paudi had arrived early for their meet. He had
purposely found Felou and had been trying to discuss with him a "change
in attitude" - how apparently innocuous subtle evil can be.
"You must recognise that times are changing, and so Lidors must
change. We in the plains are not the same Lidors who controlled the
Dark Ages, you know. Over the seasons we all change, but over many,
many seasons Lidor society as a whole must develop. That is, after all,
as I'm sure you'll agree, " he paused for effect, "only a law of
nature. A dell?" Paudi smiled to himself, he was good at this -
certainly far too good for this unsophisticated foramp fossil.
"I agree that times change but we cannot forget our lessons of
history," thoughtfully Felou was trying to answer Paudi's traps. But he
was interrupted.
"You're beginning to sound like that ivory-tower, Skifi,"
Paudi ingratiated "You have been around enough to accept that it is
only one particular interpretation that Skifi has given. He seems to be
conning you because he and his brown endeller have a wider education
than others in Tuilley." Good,he knew Felou was envious and as is often
the case intelligence fuels that jealousy.
"You're right you know, he does do that," he admired this
Lidor's perception but of course he failed to appreciate his own
vulnerability because of the naivety and inexperience of the foramps.
Of course how was he to know that Lauchidor was changing fast, very
fast. "But you are still asking us to increase our quotas beyond the
natural yields," he continued stubbornly, it was the centre of his
life.
"No we are not asking you to increase yields as such," he
paused "but what we are saying is that you are not using all the
available growing space. Increase your yields by increasing the area
you plant. Anyway," having seeded enough doubt he paused then attacked
"you cannot remain isolated here in Tuilley when there is a legitimate
greater demand in the plains. Your rigid green code is causing problems
elsewhere - serious social problems believe me." His sincere voice
rocked Felou. Are our policies so out of date they are hurting Lidors?
"We do want to be fair, but if we begin to plant the whole
area we will upset the balance of the dells: and then all our yields
will be down." Felou argued.
"Dells, ever since I've been here that's all I've heard,"
Paudi acted angry. "Green Lidors claim that it is the dells and their
use which led to our balanced society. But that is only the
interpretatioon of green Lidors like Skifi."
Why did Paudi keep talking
about green and brown, surely that was the past, thought Felou. "Many
Lidors feel that it was only when we stopped exploiting the land that
output increased. It was the case that they used to plant the same
areas season after season without allowing the soil to regain its
nutrients, its life. As a result much of the land gave poor or even no
yields. It was a move away from this sort of exploitation which
balanced Lauchidoran life."
Felou didn't like what he was hearing, it made some sense; but
he had nagging doubts. Yet he couldn't ignore the suffering in the
plains. "Ah there is Skifi, let's see what he has to say."
As he arrived Skifi could see a great deal of damage had
already been done. The scales at the side of Felou's head were taut
with dismay and showing signs that Felou was out of his depth. Paudi
smiled one of his all-encompassing hollow smiles. "Have you recovered
from last night's gathering, Skifi?" Gentle attack.
"What is there to recover from Paudi?" he was determined to
keep control. "Did you and the travellers have a comfortable night, did
you eat well?" That rocked him, Paudi's scales tensed with suspicion.
"It was cold last night, wasn't it Felou?" Felou nodded, and
asked "Were you able to keep warm, Paudi?"
"Yes we were fine. Travellers are hardy Lidors, we don't have
comfortable dwellings but we still survive, eh?" He still appeared quite
composed, but what did Skifi know? This Skifi might cause them to alter
their plans unless he could discredit him in some way. Mmmm, how?
"I have been discussing with Felou some of my ideas, which are
the same as those of the other travellers," he added for strength, "so
we could begin our meeting straight away."
"Good idea," remarked Skifi "Vernica and I had a long night
and I've just put in a long stint with Toma. Oh I mentioned to Toma
that we were meeting with you and asked him to come along. I hope
that's ok," he smiled questioningly at Paudi. Of course there could
only be one answer.
"Good,I'd not thought of that," said Felou, "he
would know more about production, it is his job." He felt embarrassed
at his omission.
"What exactly are your plans?" asked Skifi.
"You won't know this but in the plains there is a great deal of
unrest. Many Lidors feel that with the falling quotas they are being
short-changed. Some have even accused the green Lidors of hoarding."
Felou looked shocked and began to argue. "Of course I soon put a stop
to these lies but many still feel that the quality of the goods is not
what it was."
"You said that last night Paudi, but they eat the same as we
do," countered Felou.
"I know that," answered Paudi, "and I keep saying that to them."
"You can't be very convincing,"said Skifi.
"Be fair, Skifi. At least he tried." defended Felou.
We only have Paudi's word, a word that Felou would find
difficult to doubt, as would many Lidors. Why did he doubt it so
easily?
"Sure," he made a gesture which half apologised to Paudi but
which made absolutely clear what he did mean. "So what are your
suggestions?" Plans! The over-confidence was worrying.
At that moment Toma came in. He greeted Felou and touched paws
with Skifi, egg familiarity.
Skifi introduced Toma to Paudi and explained "We have been
dicussing the situation in the plains. Paudi claims that there is much
unrest and that there are many criticisms of our growing methods. He
has some suggestions." Toma looked puzzled. Not a great one for taking
things personally this was a bit strong, still if Skifi hadn't
immediately attacked this Paudi then he'd keep quiet.....for the
moment. He remained wary.
"These suggestions are more a matter of strategy. We feel that
if you plant more of the growing areas here in the foramps then you
would be able to produce more. Many browns feel it strange that they
are suffering and yet much of the land is not used." He felt that was a
reasonable presentation, some would be far more aggressive.
"If as you ask we plant all these areas," answered Toma "it
would affect the dells." He looked at Paudi's scepticism. "OK it would
affect the overall output. We could plant all the areas but overall we
are at maximum capacity, and we would be wasting effort. Less
efficiency." he said with technical pride.
"How do you know it is maximum capacity?" asked Paudi, he'd
cornered them now.
"The dells," said Felou, "the balance of Nature" He felt stupid,
he knew he was right but for Paudi proof and reason were required.
Paudi just smiled, "I know how much faith you have in the
dells," he almost sneered at the use of the word faith, thought Skifi.
"But I can't present that as an argument to the browns."
"There can only be one answer," said Skifi "Lidors from the
plains must come to stay in Tuilley. They can live here, we will give
them dwellings and they can help in the growing." Both Felou and Toma
murmured agreement.
"When you return to the plains you could invite them to come
here and they can see for themselves." said Felou, he seemed happy with
the suggestion. Skifi wasn't, Paudi had remained quiet.
"I am not sure that would be acceptable, but," his ingratiation
now returning "I will go back with your generous offer and see what
happens." This seemed a suitable point to finish, and arranging their
next meet to finalise things before Paudi returned to the plains they
parted.
Paudi returned to his camp and he cleaned up having arranged to
meet Mabor and the council. Refreshed he called them together "This has
not been a useful meeting. There is one fossilised foramper who is
easily persuaded, but unfortunately there is a meddler who suspects. He
even passed comments about fires and excess food. Did our guards see
anyone last night?" he looked around, but there was either quiet or
faint negative nods.
"We therefore are in a difficult position. If we immediately
move into their community, then this Skifi will cause resistence.
Without his efforts I think we could maneouvre this Felou into our ways
of thinking without too much trouble. He seems scared of his own shadow
if these stupid greens have shadows in the foramps." They all laughed
mildly at his humour, the required laughter of subordinates.
Marew said "We could attempt to discredit this Skifi. If we
planted some of their pest-ridden food,"
"And maybe an axe" said Rujia.
"Yes it would be particularly good because his mate is one of
those magicians," Paudi smiled as the idea of the frame-up grew in his
mind. "If we could discredit her at the same time then this Tuilley
would be sown up.
"We are not progressing as well as we might," Marew added
cautiously "I believe his highness was expecting to confront those
Geraphins by the end of this season if we had control of enough of
their supplies." They looked knowingly at each other, there was no
margin for error and at the moment it was touch and go. Slowly they
moved off to the fire, there were some of those salams roasting and
they were very tasty fo fighting Lidors.
* * *
Skifi had returned to the centre with Toma, he was concerned for
his opinion. "Paudi is very aggressive, what right has he to suggest
altering our methods?" he paused "and for that matter it's not like you
to allow him"
"True," he wondered, could Toma be a close ally? "I wanted you
to see him as he is. If I had started an argument with him, you would
have sympathised." Toma smiled, Skifi was right. If there had been an
argument he would have assumed his egg-mate to be the instigator.
"I agree, Paudi is too pushy, but," he reflected "how serious is
the situation in Geraphin? Are we even to blame?"
"No way are we to blame!" answered Skifi aggressively. "We must
not forget that in terms of production we are working close to a
perfect balance: the more I think about it the more I feel that outside
factors are affecting the dells. or it could be worse than that there
could be direct intervention."
Toma looked at him incredulously "You can't be serious, why do
you always take things too far?" Squabbles of growing-up flashed in his
mind, memories of the extremes that Skifi adopted.
Skifi'd misjudged it, still he must make an effort to justify.
"The problems with the new pest, they all occur on the outskirts,
agreed?" Toma nodded "Close to where the travellers were camped?"
"Possibly," muttered Toma with a struggle, he couldn't believe
what he was hearing.
"Vernica and I saw a growing area near their camp last night,
they had uprooted the beegs." he began to explain.
Toma interrupted "The growing areas were not destroyed by
uprooting, I've seen them. Although there was hardly any of the crop
left it was perfectly obvious it was some kind of pest."
"Could the crops have been uprooted and then the pest introduced
as camouflage?" asked Skifi, just then realising what had actually
happened.
"What you say could be the case, but we have no reason to
believe it is true. Although he is a very unsavoury character, I don't
believe he has stooped that far. Those are Dark Age tricks, is that
when you think we are?"
"I know what I say is open to ridicule and I find it hard to
believe myself, I must accept the evidence of my own eyes whatever
conclusions they lead me to." Toma could see his egg-mate's sincerity
but then Skifi completely blew it. "I even saw them chopping down the
trees." Toma laughed, this last was too much. He moved towards his
production charts, for him their discussion was closed.
"One last thing," Toma looked back impatiently "it is not an
attack." Still dubious Toma waited for Skifi to continue. "There is
definitely a change in attitude in the plains capital. I propose that
someone goes to Geraphin to find out."
"That makes a lot of sense but if you come out with the
slanders I've just heard there'd be no point in your going, no-one
would believe you." Toma sort of agreed but he was still so angry. That
sort of suspicion and paranoia is at the root of much instability, is
that what Skifi is trying to do? No, he knew better but Tuilley
wouldn't see that. "I will suggest that you," he saw Skifi's look of
omission "and Vernica go on a liaison visit to Geraphin. But on one
condition," he added as an afterthought.
Skifi looked quizzically. "You keep your accusations to
yourself unless there is more substantial evidence," advised Toma pointedly. Skifi nodded
agreement and departed noting that there was the use of the word
substantial again. Toma now had lost trust in the old ways, this was
sad.
* * *
Skifi looked on Sokifa's problems as symptomatic. Here was a society
that had remained stagnant and withdrawn from much of the life of the
planet, and now that there were changes beginning to catch up with them
they were so stuck in their ways they were unable to adjust. Earth
similarities were amazing, physical shape and the type of society were
vastly different yet the interrelationships matched up astouindingly.
But why? He began to consider earth history anthropologically. There
were various stories concerning descent from apes, development of fire,
the upright stance - all offered as reasons for superiority over
animals (and lizards). But they had always struck him as feeble, worse
that that symptomatic of science's inability to recognise that they are
studying the wrong end of the spectrum - it is causes not effects which
give you the reasons. It was then he had read that this phase of human
evolution was the beginning of a phase dominated by the development of
the mind. That which separated humans from animals was this mind, and
that the descent and the other red herrings were as a consequence of
this development and not the cause. Yet in a sense they happened at the
same time, he mused to himself, a requirement of mind is to introduce a
before and after. He gave up on this mental trap. But what really
struck him as important was that this mind faculty seemed to be
consistent with the types of behaviour exhibited on Lauchidor. What
this meant and how important it was he had no idea but he realised that
he must try and separate for himself these faculties. In some way he
might be able to use them; besides he had nothing else to do but watch.
* * *
When Skifi arrived home he found Vernica outside tending their
own growing area. As he approached he noticed the salams scampering
around her not interfering with her work but just enjoying her
presence. He went over and picked one up to stroke, they enjoyed their
underbellies being rubbed - mind you so did he. He smiled at Vernice
who carried on with her work. "We invited the Geraphins to come and
stay in Tuilley," her brow looked puzzled "they seem to believe we are
short-changing them."
"Not us, Paudi," she said automatically. He looked at her
strangely, in all his conversations he had not thought that yet it was
so obvious. After a while he simply nodded "He claims that he defended
our interests."
She just laughed contemptuously. "They won't come, they
might not even get asked. but whichever way Paudi will have created
such antagonism that Geraphins would only see it as a trap. We must go."
"I suggested that to Toma and he says he will raise it
officially with Felou," he said a bit too smugly.
"It will be too late by then," said Vernica stubbornly "I think
we should go anyway, why don't we go tomorrow?"
This didn't sound good, she was not allowing any room for doubt,
debate or even breathing. She gave him an open friendly smile but she
was only offering him a choice of time, nothing else. Unfortunately he
knew that; he didn't want to fight it, but he wasn't quite able to feel
the urgency. That smile, he thought to himself, it showed a
condescending valueless patience; it was as if the smile and decision
didn't belong to her but were simply an expression of predetermination.
Maybe! He liked it anyway.
"We will go but should we not act as some form of
representative, and therefore be nominated. Otherwise any evaluations
or contacts would be meaningless." he said practically.
"They are going to be meaningless anyway, don't you realise
Tuilley and possibly Lauchidor are just not going to be recognisable?"
She was so convinced he just had no argument.
"What do you suggest?" he asked, fearing the worst.
"We should leave now," she said simply.
He looked at her, she was perfectly serious. "What about
friends, responsibilities?" he asked, this seemed so impractical.
"I have written notes to all concerned - Felou, Toma, the
endellers and your partner. I have explained why we felt we should
leave and what we were going to do. Anyway Skifi," she turned to make
him look at her directly "there is nothing here for you, Tuilley
doesn't listen to you at all now. You're living off old respect but you
are basically wasting away. You have your practise but their small
minds are closing you out of that - Lidors aren't visiting you like
they did. It is a natural break, accept it and move on."
She was right in all she said but he still felt proprieties,
decency, the correct form, they should all mean something; and he
realised that he had allowed himself to become trapped. He now
possessed the values of insular small-mindedness. He agreed. They
walked to the gathering place and left the notes that Vernica had
written. And with no small regret they walked out of Tuilley.
* * *
It was not much later that Marew and Rujia crept up near their
dwelling and left a supply of beegs by their growing area. They also
left an axe by their driftwood and piled some of the freshly-chopped
wood at the top. They rushed off back to the camp and reported to Paudi
that everything had gone smoothly. Marew said with blaze-trooper
crudity "they must have been busy, too busy to notice anything else."
He winked with a style that had not been seen in Tuilley for many, many
seasons; and it's unlidor conception had only recently resurfaced in
the whole of Lauchidor.
As they left Tuilley it was as if a heavy weight had been
lifted, they felt a light-headedness and a clarity of vision which
they'd forgotten they possessed. As they strolled, around them the
scene seemed to want to permanently impress them with its beauty. The
sounds of nature which were of background said "Come and listen to me,
remember me". The colours of the sky, no different to the routine,
wanted to be noticed for their subtle hues, their many different blues
seeming to offer the vividness of the whole spectrum. Around they saw
the scamperings of salams and insects, if not seen before forgotten in
the restricted memory born of small-mindedness. It was as if they had
gained new senses - but in reality the old ones had only just begun to
function.
After the initial exhilaration had faded, the remorse set
in. Vernica particularly began to dwell on past events, memories of the
small but now seemingly important. The routine securities began to
weigh heavily as the mind fearing its loss of control began to create
barriers in an effort to re-establish its domain. Fear grew as thoughts
of their dwelling, their salams, their friends with their understanding
- or rather with their presence and verbal concurrence, began to swarm
her mind - her strength and resilience from her initial conviction had
served it's purpose and had now disappeared being replaced by the
anxieties that had been held back by her mental floodgates. Recognising
her discomfort Skifi held her but he knew that distance would lessen
her attachment to Tuilley so he refused to allow her to rest - she
hadn't dared to suggest returning.
When they had left Tuilley they had followed the trail
recognising it as that of the travellers. But after a while they began
to see several trails and didn't know which to take. Surprise then
mixed with anger for they knew it had been the practise to limit Lidor
trails as to those required, why use more? Therefore their direction
was not going to be forged easily. Skifi looked at Vernica, now
regaining composure. "Delling need not be a farming art." She smiled
and using the crutch of her craft began to snap out of her indulgence.
Once in her habitual element she was able to free her mind and so
relate to their present dilemma. Closing her eyes she allowed the dells
to enter her full consciousness. She began walking, testing one
direction then another. Watching her mind she saw the clouds thin and
her walking became a barometer needle. When Skifi saw her walk one way
and then turn back on herself he went up to her, and they simply
carried on in that direction. Once this pattern was in her mind she
knew their direction for to stray would darken her inner vision. But
where they were going neither knew? Their fate?
Afar they saw another foramp. Although they had spoken with
the travellers from time to time, neither Mabor nor any of their
regulars had mentioned another community so near - nor for that matter
could Skifi remember it from the time when he'd gone to study. He
sensed great caution so they rested.
Recovered and prepared for difficulty they approached the
foramp. As they neared they saw splashing towards their left and
sensing there was no great danger there they went over to refresh their
bodies. A strange smell hit them, it was harsh and got harsher as they
neared the foramp. A mild hiss caught their attention, and they both
turned to their left and saw a Lidor partially concealing himself amid
the thin undergrowth. They realised it was not from them he hid as he
motioned them to join him. As they moved towards him his agitation made
them scamper and soon they too lay in this partial shelter. When she -
a common mistake among Lidors initially - spoke, there was a
conspiratorial air about her but that was almost overwhelmed by the
smell of fear. "Are you fools to wander around so conspicuously? There
are stockade gangs on patrol in this vicinity."
She looked again at them, they had not understood. "What are
you trying to do?" she asked them, still not comprehending.
Vernica reverted to outmoded protocol when confused by
strangers. "I am Vernica and this is Skifi, her limb brushed the side
of Skifi's head gently. We are from Tuilley and we've left to try to
discover.. " she was stuck for words - dells were not understood in
Tuilley, what chance here. She shrugged and swept her limb before her
in a minor arc, the sentence unfinshed.
Sunar looked at them incredulously. "What scam's this?" Again
blank expressions. Maybe this was on the level. "I am Sunar from," she
loked around her with a hopeless, defeated longing "what used to be
Linou Dee."
"Used to be," she intoned, before they had a chance to say
anything "Now it is gradually being destroyed under the guise of a new
agriculture," she laughed scornfully at the paraphrase that now meant
so much to them all.
Skifi began to see an image emerge, a scene not disimilar to
what they'd just left, only more advanced - seasons, lifetimes no he
doubted that. He fed Sunar "The travellers?"
With scorn she answered "They might have been travellers once,
now they are the garrison." Their jaws dropped. "Yes, now they don't
travel to the plains they use us and our stocks for their own benefit.
And if we disagree then we get the stockade. Mind you," she added
almost to herself "prisons take many shapes."
"Well, what are you doing ?" Vernica asked.
"There are some who evade work and capture but not for long,"
venom creeping through from her memory "their guards are ruthlessly
efficient."
They looked at her sadly, she seemed out of her depth. There
was a hardness to her but it was still very thin - she'd not been on
the run for long.
"Please Sunar," Vernica asked quietly "Tell us what happened."
She looked at them her suspicions evaporating to be replaced by the
relief of company - of company from the past. For the first time she
smiled "We must not stay here but there is a furrow not far from here
that these arrogant thugs don't know about. They might claim to be New
Lidors but their knowledge of our ways is limited," she said
half-heartedly. "Come," she perked up "it is not far."
They seemed to move in towards the water and then began to move
parallel to it's edge. Every few steps Sunar gathered loose branches
and growth, all the while her newly-developed cunning active. She
stopped. "You must follow and do exactly as I." They nodded now fearing
to breathe as her conspiracy enveloped them; somehow the atmosphere
prevented them from free actions.
Sunar descended down the banks of the swamp and made to enter,
then she backed away and as she went she would step on rocks or logs.
Turning towards them she repeated "Exactly where I trod." Handing
Vernica the loose branches she instructed "Use these to sweep away, or
cover up, any claw prints we may leave." Swiftly she moved off and
Skifi then Vernica followed with extreme caution, her instructions
being meticulously followed. Somewhat awkwardly they followed Sunar and
then saw her tail disappear into the ground - they had not noticed but
they had arrived at her furrow. Those guards would need to be very
sharp to find her.
Resting they were handed cups of water which they gladly drank,
then to break the silence "Our home was much like this," Vernica said
"Dug out by the bank of a stream." she added.
"Once there were many homes like this spread throughout Linou
Dee but now they've been destroyed or abandoned as the Linouds have
been moved to the stockade or to the new dwellings provided by our
hosts." Sarcasm seemed her last refuge.
"You intimated that Linou Dee was much like our Tuilley,"
began Skifi "please explain to us how things could have become so bad."
"It's all happened since the beginning of this season - or at
least most of it," Sunar started the story of Linou Dee's degradation
"and it started almost innocently - certainly nothing of a magnitude to
portend the future. At the beginning of each season we all met, as
usual, to discuss with our controller and the endellers the quotas and
workloads for the season. It began as normal - minor bickerings, petty
points of dispute and all the usual sort of rubbish which dominated
that sort of occasion. And then a stranger rose and asked whether the
quotas could be increased by better use of the land. Some ridiculed,
others angry began vehement argument, most remained ambivalent to the
suggestion. Soon the situation cooled and the stranger returned to
fours. You ask who this stranger was," Sunar said seeing the question
forming "Well, he later introduced himself as Paudi, the traveller."
Sunar saw knowing smiles and continued "He explained that there was
much social unrest in the plains and that much blame was being put on
the foramp Lidors. Some sympathised but we maintained our usual output
despite his objections."
"Then after we had slept, he and several of his travellers
came to our store and began to take the supplies, more than he was
apportioned. There were objections but these were laughed at. Senior
Lidors decided to go out to their camp to ask for the return of the
excess, and were shocked to see that they were using freshly-chopped
wood and were roasting the salams for food." Sunar looked at the
revulsion in the eyes of her guests. "For them it was also unbelievable
and it was then that Irigou moved towards this Paudi to strike him with
his tail. Irigou was then set upon by four Lidors who clubbed her
senseless. Then Paudi informed the seniors that the travellers now
controlled production in Linou Dee. The seniors were captives that
sleep, and after the sleep Paudi and a large number of travellers, more
than we had seen before, came to our store. When Lidors turned up to
work they were given fresh instuctions and if they objected they were
beaten. Many stayed home then they sent out these troops who would drag
Lidors from their dwellings." Sunar's voice began to shake. "It was
just so quick. Within three or four sleeps Linouds were either locked
in the stockade or like me were on the run. We," she gulped back her
emotion "were totally unprepared. Why should we be anything else?
Nothing remotely like this has ever happened in Linou Dee."
At this she completely cracked up. For sleep upon disrupted
sleep she had lived claw to mouth, not knowing where the next food was,
not knowing whether the next Lidor she would meet would take her to the
stockade. She was distraught. Both Skifi and Vernica went over to
console her and they waited quietly until she regained what remained of
her composure.
After a while Skifi asked "How have the Linouds organised
against these shits?"
"Organise," she laughed bitterly,"I hardly see any free Lidors
now, and any that I do I flee."
Skifi looked at her compassionately. "You have little left now
in Linou Dee." She nodded helplessly "then you must come with us," he
looked questioningly at Vernica for approval. A smile was sufficient.
Sunar stuttered for arguments, her memories, friends, home were
all here in Linou Dee. But they were all the past; her Linou Dee did
not now exist. Her little resistence gave way to resigned agreement -
not out of rudeness but unwilling still to admit that her life as she
had known it was now at an end. "Need we delay?" asked Skifi, and Sunar
led them back to where they had met. "You must backtrack and circle
round for the path you were on would lead direct to one of their
outposts." Sunar spoke of these travellers as if they were an army, the
thought frightened him. He buried it for a time.
As they followed Sunar's directions, Skifi worried about the
imminent disaster in Tuilley. "Do you think we should return?"
Vernica replied more out of his need for confirmation than to
impart information. "We would be as ineffective as Sunar has been.
Paudi's Lidors are too organised, this must have been planned a long
time. Do you have any idea what has so changed the travellers, it can't
just be one Lidor however charismatic?" She looked at Sunar but as
expected received only an uninformed shrug. Sunar disclosed her fateful
apathy "I never really took an interest in political matters, they
didn't seem to affect my life."
"Tuilley was like that," said Skifi thoughtfully "and now she
and probably many other foramp communities will suffer. But why have
these travellers so forgotten the Dark Ages, and completely destroyed
their's and our dells?" He looked at Vernica who was equally baffled.
Sunar, ignoring Skifi's speculations, had been concentrating on
their route. "You were very fortunate, you know," she said with some
awe "your path was the only possible route to Linou Dee that could not
be seen by their outposts."
They had backtracked a long way and now could barely see the
foramp; Sunar had changed directions and was leading them parallel to
the foramp's edge. She stopped and pointed. "Just there the foramp juts
out," and as they moved along the foramp seemed to move further away.
Sunar again stopped. "About opposite us here is their last outpost, and
although it was blind to your route it has a panoramic view of these
whole outlying areas. We must travel a long way before we are out of
their vision."
They could see how right she was, for in front of them stretched
a large grassy area, flat and endless like the plains, only with this
hardy strain of rough grass which somehow had gained a hold over the
whole terrain. Skifi, looking at the distance, realised that their
bodies had not taken water as they had intended. "We must bathe soon,"
he warned Sunar "it is some sleeps since we were properly hydrated."
"We will return to the foramp once out of range of their
outposts, besides" she added "I would not choose these wide open
spaces." They both knew what shemeant, so much space seemed frightening
lacking any of the security of trees, vines and other daily
acquaintances.
Time dragged on and as the dehydration began to take some toll
on his strength Skifi worried; of course this made his condition worse.
Vernica noticed his shortening breath and watched as he anxiously wiped
sweat from his scales. "You must not think of your water, it will only
make it worse."
"That's easier said than done," he answered brusquely.
"If you simply concentrate on the walking one limb then the
next and so on you will find that the journey passes without the
anguish," he laughed, that was one of his normal practises but he had
not been in difficulties then - it was easy to experiment with tricks
when it didn't matter.
They soon turned in towards the foramp and as it closed on
them Vernica felt much easier. To her there seemed little danger and
she said so. Almost too carefree they strolled into the foramp and
finding a stream all three were quick to slide in. At first they
worried about splashing but soon they abandoned caution and with joy
and thanks they rolled and darted about the stream as they had long ago
growing up. Although they had travelled far the water gave them great
vigour as if there was energy that seeped into them through their
contact. Soon they were very much stronger and feeling relaxed they
began to look for food. And no sooner thought than the first place
Vernica looked they found some wild beegs. Their hunger satisfied they
lay together and began to think ahead.
"We have several choices open to us," Skifi said and was about
to list them. "On second thoughts," his thinking becoming words "Sunar
what do you want to do?"
"I haven't thought," she said evasively "why don't you list your
choices and then..." Vernica interrupted "His choices would limit your
thinking, and therefore your choice would not be total."
She still wasn't too certain. "All I want is a return to Linou
Dee, or somewhere like it," she added, her insecurity unfolding "I
can't face this total disruption."
"But what about the failings, the isolation, the lack of
awareness of Lidor life ?" Skifi had easily slipped into a new mode of
thinking - a thinking which assumed that the faults were not just
external.
"I completely accept that the life of Lauchidar has to account
for these," she paused, this admission was difficult "and I wish for my
role within that accountability. I just want it quickly....yesterday?"
Skifi detested apathy, he needed social involvement. "In other
words, youwant to.."
"Skifi!" Vernica shouted, fearing the worst of his intolerance.
Her voice calmed "I understand and" she added placatingly "It is not
everyone's role to change the world."
Skifi started to argue with this slight but she refused him the
room. "Besides it is a good job that not everyone wants to analyse and
organise." She could see that Skifi had now regained his tact and would
be open enough for a continued discussion.
"I'm sorry for being rash," he apologised "it is just not my
nature." She smiled , his self-negation had eased the tension.
Sunar and Skifi turned to Vernica, and she laughed. "Do you
think I have a choice? We left Tuilley to discover what was happening,
it would be impossible for us simply to settle down in some other
comfortable community. His nature would not let me even if I wanted to.
Besides," she gloated a little "we're here because of my pressure."
Skifi felt his scales tighten and a globule of embarrassed perspiration
slid down his face.
"But where does all this leave us now?" asked Skifi overcoming
his discomfort.
"Nowhere." ventured Sunar, and gradually they began to convulse
with laughter at their stalemate.
"We're not staying here," said Vernica who was relieved to see
that Sunar readily agreed.
Skifi looked at Vernica who easily slipped into her endelling,
and almost as quickly she had decided on a route. They moved deeper
into the foramp.
With great watchfulness they strolled deeper into the foramp; this
was unknown land to Sunar, and themselves. An inexplicable gloom
overcame Skifi. After all they'd been through, gloom was the last he'd
expected. The foramp took on a darker hue and as he looked around he
felt the trees close in on him. He felt awkward and molested, irritated
at every branch that blocked his path. Eventually Vernica stopped them.
"What is the matter with you?" she said angrily, barely controlling
herself.
"Don't you feel it, this gloom?" he asked surprised that she
particularly was not undergoing similar, if not more powerful,
reactions..
She looked at him admonishingly. "What are you talking about? I
feel nothing but weariness ..... and a sense of relief that we are out
of Linor Dee," she looked at Sunar who nodded vehemently, a gasp of
agreement escaping easily from her mouth. "You're just overreacting,
maybe you feel homesick?" she looked at him questioningly.
He accepted the escape, calmed himself and continued the journey
trying to fight back his dread. There was no sympathy here, he thought,
as both Sunar and Vernice gave him consoling smiles. But smiles which
put an end to the subject.
As they moved further into new territory Skifi's gloom was
enforcedly replaced with an almost paranoic watchfulness, his awareness
was extremely sharp and each rustle was immediately spotted and
vouchsafed. In his mind he could not understand why this feeling should
be so strong and yet the other two felt nothing. They seemed totally
unaware of any foreboding; why was it so strong in him? He thought to
question them but he remembered their previous response; he kept his
own counsel.
Then suddenly it was upon them. From out of nowhere a band of
lizards attacked them. There was a wildness about them, almost that of
wayward children. Only not with this crew play, for there was murder in
their hearts. His mind focussed on the word why as it drifted into the
distance with his consciousness.
Myriad images flashed across his mind as slowly he ploughed
back into wakefulness. As his mind emerged from its centre he checked
his own periphery, he was badly injured. Severely injured, perhaps even
mortally. That's what they'd thought flew across his horizon and it was
then he became concerned for the others. He looked around, where were
they? There were tell-tale signs of struggle but the marks were much
scuffed but at the edge of what he could only think of as the attack
zone he saw drag marks. He immediately began to follow. His instinct
had said follow but he had no idea what he was going to do or even if
he could make it. All he thought was Vernice.......VERNICE!
As he followed he noticed the signs were weak, fading - he
must have been out a long time but this did not deter. He was beyond
deterrence, he must go on he must find her. His whole being was one
thing - Find Vernice, and that was what was in his mind as he collapsed
again from exhaustion and injury.
As he awoke this time events were clearer. He knew there had
been an attack. Why - who knows? Vernice and Sunar had been dragged
off. And he was following them when he had collapsed.
To follow, this thought grabbed his mind and his passionate obsession
took him over. Again ..Find Vernice.....Find Vernice!!!
He found their tracks again. They were not being dragged now,
he can't imagine those creatures would carry them unless they were ...
tied? Sympathy for Vernice soon gave way to anger as he thought of
those thugs, what he would do to them! But then part of his mind began
to push him to reality. How many were there? What could he do? And much
much worse, was Vernice alive? Tears grew in his eyes but he would not
allow them he must find her and he again concentrated on his task. Find
Vernice: he focussed on the tracks.
He now realised he must have been out for a great length of
time because the tracks were covered by prints of salams and other of
the smaller foramp creatures. Many times he stopped and almost gave up
for there were no signs or tracks only at the last moment to find a
branch broken or a print covered by the wind blowing leaves. So he
thankfully continued his search. But to his horror the foramp with the
signs he could read began to give way to pure swamp. Dreading each step
he saw the tracks take him nearer and nearer to the swamp edge. And his
worst fear was realised as the last track disappeared at the water's
edge. Let logic prevail he thought. The direction he had come would
lead him straight across the swamp to where they'd exited and he would
then continue his search. It seemed a long way the distant trees were
not recognisable as such - he just assumed - but he would swim to them.
Nearer and nearer he got, his energy sapped but he still fought on what
did it matter how much he injured himself he wanted .... needed Vernice,
he must find her.
Exhausted he sprawled onto the bank. And it was with utter
despair that he looked around to see not a sign of life, not a print,
not a track and certainly not Vernice and those .... He passed out with
exhaustion, sleep taking over again. Within him there was a guide that
was able to regain some control when his mind was its weakest.
This time when he awoke was the first that he realised that
things were looking hopeless. He had travelled a great distance from
the attack across foramp and swamp and it must have been many sleeps
without ant sign of her or the thugs. He had to face the fact that she
was probably DEAD.
NO NO, he would not accept that she must be alive. How could
he find her? What if he marked this spot and traced round the edge of
the swamp eventually he must find where they had left the swamp. Logic
triumphed again he thought - or at least he wanted to believe it was a
triumph. It was a long job but then he knew he would find her.
Slowly he set off, for although logic had its answer his
spirit was not with it now. Methodically he moved slowly round the edge
of the swamp meticulously examining any sign of life but to no avail.
At the end of one revolution of the sun there had been no sign and the
doubts had given way to a deep sadness, and in his solitude he cried
himself to an exhausted sleep. In the morning the new freshness gave him
revitalised hope but there seemed so much ground to cover. He still
forced himself on but his despair was greater at the next sleep. More
and more his search was turning numb. And as the emptiness crept over
him he drowsed off. And this time as he awoke it was as if he hadn't
slept. All he knew was despair and he couldn't dispel the thought that
Vernice was dead. He snapped at himself. Look at it logically, follow
your plan but far too quickly his resolve disappeared and he collapsed
into a heap of despair at the water's edge.
Maybe he should sleep and revitalised he could carry on but as
he closed his eyes he could only see the blackness of emotionless
despair. His thoughts and desires had been enslaved by the zombie
depression - he had no thoughts but to lie there. What else was there
to do? Gradually he drifted into a shallow sleep and when he awoke
partly recharged he could only think of Vernice, and if that wasn't
enough if he managed to snap out of that all he could think of was the
pain he was in.
* * *
Throughout this Skifi looked on in sadness. Initially the hope
and then the pain had been so strong he had been dragged inside it. He
had been unable to help. But now through the despair he saw a way in;
maybe this was even why he was here. He felt that he could pull Sokifa
through although the despair was so great he wondered whether it was
right to. Maybe a love as strong as theirs ought to be allowed to die
simultaneously - it is accepted in the old. Of course not, he knew
better but logic was difficult now.
Having gained at least a partial insight into his strange
journey Skifi felt it was now time for some action. Seeing the great
despair that Sokifa was in what was he to do? Probably the unstable
mental condition would predetermine a classification as madness. A good
subterfuge, he thought.
Beneath the mourning cloud he began to feel the emergence of a
partial life-form. Through the haze Skifi called out, it was thought
transfer but it would only register as a disembodied voice. As Sokifa
awoke he began to look around, where was that voice? Who was it? He
knew no-one here. Still the voice persisted and as he searched wider
and wider he heard the voice call out "There is no-one there, the voice
is inside your head."
As soon as this was said Sokifa associated it with madness. A
deep loss and voices inside my head; definitely the signs he thought to
himself. He laughed scathingly at himself but he wasn't really
concerned. Madness didn't worry him; nothing compared with the
loneliness of separation from Vernice.
As Skifi caught this thought he tried a fateful move. "You
must forget Vernica, you are now on your own." With my help he thought
to himself.
No sooner said than he felt a violent reaction. "Voice of
Madness," bawled Sokifa "whatever you are, know this! Life for me meant
only Vernice. No Vernice, no Skifi." And again he allowed the deep
depression to swallow him in its wallowing black jaws.
* * *
What must Skifi do now? His first attempts he recognised as naive but
what next? Persistence certainly, but he was beginning to fear for
Sokifa's life; food had not been a high priority and it was essential
given the extent of the injuries which were now really taking their
toll. Could he control certain body reactions, possibly those which
were instinctive - survivalist? He looked around Sokifa's body and
within five lengths he could see some wild beegs. Could he move the
torso to enable him to pick the beegs? He would try.
He searched the body for stimuli. The stomach must be
looking for sustenance and gradually from within he felt a minor
consciousness which was automatically searching for food. Skifi
empowered the involuntary hunger and slowly this hunger took a more
substantial form. It began to demand motor response and once the faint
triggering had been woken Skifi again built this into an insatiable
urge. Although asleep and under great psychic deflation, Sokifa's
instinctive brain responses were functioning on a pure survival level,
now that the animal consciousnesses had been stimulated the will to
survive was strong. Skifi felt that he would now be able to push the
body into retrieving the beegs. Aligning the consciousnesses he
focussed all the energies in just one direction and gradually Sokifa's
body made a coordinated, involuntary movement towards the food. With
great effort Skifi controlled each synaptic response and painfully he
pulled the beeg and began to eat. Skifi could feel the life return to
the body and the satiated hunger radiated as elation.
But also within
Skifi there was satisfaction; he knew that on one level, admittedly
purely instinctive, he was able to exert some control. The body would
not die despite the mental state. But this was not enough. If all he
was to be was some kind of conscious somnambulant he would maybe prefer
oblivion. Yet he could not believe that was his position. Far too many
coincidences militated against passivity: destiny, he smiled at the
melodrama, had far more in store. He also drifted into sleep, pain and
tiredness which had seemed distanced within Sokifa's consciousness now
seemed to be integrating within his own ... and it HURT. And it was the
pain which took him into the dream. Identifying with a twin-headed
monster, pain tossed from one head to the other. It was as if one head
said "Take it," and the other fought it back. Then it was not the pain
they were tossing but lives. At first there were people blown out of
cannons wearing dollar signs and midair they changed to lizards. And on
landing they came to these delightful residences. Gone was the pleasant
sparseness and in its place luxury. Cool water indoors! Salams
splashing around playfully ... but they were cages. Hollowed-out trees
screamed at misuse as water was pumped into the pool. And they followed
the scream which came from a lizard - a baby dying with no food. In the
city beneath the tossed lizard? But it was then Sokifa tossing. And he
screamed because his tossing had made him wake on his broken paw.
But
he was awake and more. The depression had turned to hostility; the
dream had shaped his emotion into race consciousness and more
importantly conscious action. He smiled as the mental Vernice's quiff
directed him. Paudi and the other travellers had to have a reason for
their actions ...Power, and if they were getting power who was
relinquishing? Or who was having their power taken? How many still dream?
* * *
Skifi felt that the dream had done a great deal to align
Sokifa's mind with his own, and he knew that now there was no barrier
to their progress. And more he felt a certain jubilant expectation, he
was moving towards the discovery of his own journey. They now travelled
towards the plains to learn of the corruptions of Lauchidor.THE GATHERING
THE LEAVING
Skifi awoke to see Vernice sliding into the stream, he followed
on sight. As the water engulfed them they began to feel the freshness
of the early stream. Far away they heard the splashing as others of the
bank-dwellers also sharpened up. As usual he stayed longer in the
water, and as he returned inside she blurted "We have to leave
Tuilley." He knew he would argue with her but he also knew she was
right. But at this moment his silence answered her succinctly. She had
already prepared their food - he had been in longer than usual, and
they ate in quiet.
THE AWAKENING
THE UNITING
STEP TWO |
THE PLAINS |
Every fifday they met, it was a good day because very little happened
fifdays an they often met to arrange parties that would happen over the
next few days. As usual there was the speaker berating the priveleged,
criticising misuses and in general paraphrasing whatever whenever and
why. She shouldn't be there! Gone was her youthful enthusiasm, mixed
with the naivety that had made her fanatical, and all that was left was
the faint but rationalised straw whcih she clung to togive her life
meaning - she wouldb't think on the full implications of that one. she
thought back to younger days, she thought of her revolution, the party
line, the emotion which meant full commmitment without deep questioning
unless it was the questioning which was sanctioned by the party at that
particular phase of the revolution. In her mind she sneered both at
herself and at the situation because she saw in new members her own
unquestioning approach. It sickened her to think that in the very words
of revolution that were paraphrased in every permutation was the very
system they were supposedly fighting. And yet in the arguing she became
part of the same. Because the existence of the party was only a
government control. Twofold, to find youngsters who might cause trouble
and dishearten them by showing them apathy masquerading as struggle.
She looked around at the comfort. Here they all decried the propertied,
the new dwellings which was contrary to all the old ways, and yet
although none were affluent there were none who were lacking. Yet
outside she knew of plenty whose life was maintained by a thread. Not
so many in this city because lizards needed to see poverty but only
relative, not death.
But she had seen both and she knew the cause.
Mind
you so did most but they invented excuses for not facing it. the lazy
greens hoarding the food, restricting production steeped in a tradition
of ignorance and magic which had as much relevence as salams to
government. She smiled, their pets would make a better government so
maybe the dells meant more than labour. It was a dream that passed
before her. A continual stream of words and pretences built into a
whirlpool eddying nowhere. She remembered back, she had seen arguments
and soon those lizards had left. They all had been happy for such
regressive elements only harmed the struggle --- they conveniently
forgot that those same had been the most active. It was as if
commitment to the struggle actually meant that as part of your learning
you left because you were so worn down by the blatant contradictions
and lack of meaningful fight. She'd often thought of voicing these at
meetings but knew that she would lose credibility - even more, however
blind were those in the party her disillusion must show through. She
had thought of writing it. She imagined the reactions. Sold out, system
lacky, write anything to make money; the frustration almost made her
cry for a deep questioning and lizards actually struggling against the
system instead of struggling with their compromise - family, job,
whatever. The real sadness was that there was no fight in the movement
because there was no fight in the lizards unless within a particular
arena for which everyone knew the rules and never went too far. The
games that were played didn't matter to those who played them but they
were only able to play those games at the suffering and death of the
foramp lizards who were now systematically being wiped out or enslaved
as part of the present productivity drive.
But of course they were
fighting for these greens didn't they have a party position that they
upheld? She wished they could all find the energy and strength they
were born with and channel that into the fight; there would be no
struggle then their natural force would wipe out the opposition
without any problem! Prove it!! That was the other great con! Words and
raeason shackled the revolution. They discussed, rationalised, wrote
pamphlets - all of them arts given by the system educators. They must get
outside their own education before they can fight. Destroy that part of
yourself they have created and then go out and fight. But where is the
logic in that came the response? But if you discussed paradox or
anomalies then you were accused of verbal salamandering. Life is like
that you go out and do, it lacked any possible verification and
therefore could not be true.
But still she held on. She attended the meetings though it was harder
and harder to stay awake. The occasional flash of enthusiasm gave her
courage and hope but she knew she lived so far from her soul that there
was never any chance of success. Perhaps they were even scared of
success, certainly they weren't going in that direction. Having learnt
of her tasks for the seven she went off home having a case of what she
called fifday blues. She met her mate on the way home and they went off
to the new watering hole which had opened last seven.
As they entered
the Lidoro Jana glanced with appreciation at the rippling waters in
front of her. Quickly they paid their fee and soon she found herself
totally immersed in the pool. Lying there she opened her scales to
allow the ripples to gently tingle against her raw nerves stimulating
her whole body. She wallowed in the excitement and began to anticipate
later fun. Unfortunately the gong soon sounded and as they emerged from
the pool the attendant provided them with their drink. Sipping it
slowly Jana began to feel an internal glow which matched her already
nervous excitement. She turned to Buron "Isn't it time we went home?"
she asked quietly, little hiding her true desires.
"Just one more," he
pointed at the Morvin.
She was feeling too good to make an issue and
although pressed into having one more she barely touched it not wanting
the drug to spoil her appreciation. After a while they left and she
could feel Buron's excitement growing but her response was somewhat
deflated, her nerves now jangling with frustration at the delay. Buron
looked at her strangely and she put on a face.
Soon they reached home
and with gentle but firm grace Buron moved quickly into the act. Not
that her body wasn't responding but it was at arm's length. For much of
the love-making she could not participate with true verve. Soon however
her body's passion destroyed the mental interventions and gradually she
became immersed in the whole well of emotions and responses.
Now that they had finished, the minor irritation returned. She didn't
want to but she began to focus on the dissatisfaction. She couldn't
ignore the feeling of delay and frustration but she wouldn't say
anything. Was it her? It never seemed to give her the appreciation she
wanted. Was it her demands were too great? Her mother and friends
said they were but she didn't feel that. She wouldn't have the feelings
in the first place. No the responses were part of the rules for female
lizards. Her frustrations were becoming political anger, was there no
peace? It wasn't that there wasn't a political dimension but she
couldn't even feel post-coital satisfaction now without her mind
darting into the territory of change ... or revolution. The real one,
not the talk. She had to get up even though it would make Buron angry.
She looked at him apologetically and he curled up to sleep showing the
hard scales of his spine almost in a threatening gesture. He said
nothing, neither did she but there was a gulf. How was it to be
bridged, should it be?
She didn't want an answer but went for some air
and space. Outside she allowed the mild wind to blow at her tingling
scales. Soon the nerves were passified but that left her mind in
turmoil. Buron was a problem but no more than any other male lizard. Sure
tonight he had not been sensitive but there were times where her
response lacked mutuality. But what she felt was far deeper. The sexual
frustration belied a greater feeling, her whole body was rejecting her
life and its conditions. There were times she felt the death throes of
the green workers especially after she had attended the Lidoro or
partaking of excesses of Morvins. She felt like an unexploded bomb but
without a fuse or a target. So this resulted in her anger with those at the meeting.
They were wrong but there were many others whose errors were more
far-reaching and DEADLY. But they should know, but why? Because they
profess to know. Oh, it was circular.
But then there was no recourse in
love. Many claimed it, was it true? She wanted to believe it, but it
didn't seem likely - everyone would be so much happier if it was.
Lizards had appearances to keep up and sex was one of them. She smiled
at the childish pun but there was no escape in low-key humour.
Was there escape in religion? For a long time she had immersed herself
in deep study. Not the superficial rantings of the system creed - the
one which cares on the one hand and supported the rich with the other.
Her mind wandered into the quagmire of the creed's hypocrisy and the
practises of its ministers but that seemed not to rile her. But she
couldn't understand those who had studied and then claimed practise.
Having their minds opened up to the true practise of religion and then
still choosing to immerse themselves into the practise of dogma, for
her that was inexplicable. Agreed it was not right that one loses one's
spirituality in the dilemmas of daily life but how can one ignore the
deaths of thousands , millions when it is those very deaths which funds
your religious predelictions. Again it was the same paradox. They used
the money that they gained from the deaths of others to debate whether
they should do anything about these deaths. The hypocrites, but then
what did she do but the same only with subtler mental gymnastics and
greater mental anguish.
Such mental meanderings simply made her tired
and awkward and she went back inside to try to sleep through her
dissatisfaction. Waking next day she set off for the indoctrination
factory. Since qualifying she had spent all her adult ife in the school
but now she was beginning to question every aspect of her work. She
hadn't expected a great deal in terms of success, but there seemed
nothing for her now. She had come to an understanding very early on, an
understanding which she summarised as EVOLUTION OR REVOLUTION. For her
the work at the school was evolutionary, it had to be if she and her
school system weren't able to educate so that lizards could begin
to drag themselves out of the social evils they were in then ultimately
they would involve themselves in war and DEATH. A thought struck her.
Maybe there were now so many deaths and that number can only increase,
perhaps she'd be better off taking revolution. Except who were the
revolutionaries?
She ran away from these thoughts especially as the work
began imposing its toils on her. Her close friend Larron was able to
give her some comfort but he found it strange. Here she was facing deep
issues which were of far greater import, yet the minute there were kids
in front of her it disappeared into mind recesses and she went on with
the routine of number. Larron laughed at this especially when she waxed
lyrical about the kids.
But Larron had noticed it gave her a realism.
Although as a teacher she exhibited the notorious narrow outlook of the
profession the kids also gave her a humanity. She had said that of those
in the party he exhibited the greatest verve and realism but he had a
great failing. His analysis was anaemic. It was as if the lizards
didn't exist, that it wasn't Lidors who were dying. They had to fit a pattern of response that belonged
to the analysis of he and his cohorts. At least Larron recognised this
and one way was his repeated diatribes about coming at them from where
they stood. There was too often a temptation for idealists to require
exclusively their ideals, to demand of those who were making efforts
that they are not being successful - full party members!- until they
embraced the whole philosophy. Of course very often lizards felt they
couldn't and regularly came into conflict with purists. Since the
purists were long established the newcomers would feel embarrassed at
arguing - or even worse intimidated - and eventually they would become
so alienated they would leave the party. Of course this suited the
purists for that meant the party line continued - who wants "mavericks"
anyway?
But the real effect is that the party's numbers remained small,
and far more importantly there were still thousands/millions of greens
dying while there was this semantic purism stifling the evolutionary
desires of the lizard populus.With her Larron showed his understanding
side but when it came to the meetings he was stuck. With his rhetoric
and intellect he presented the sharp line which was respected but the
pressures to conform were so great that if he showed his real concern he
would be pushed out - there were many who already suspected his anarchic
position.
Jana encouraged his individuality but the party was his
life, his insecurities as a young lizard who did not involve himself in
the chauvinistic pastimes of his peers meant that when he did gain some
recognition he always too frightened to lose it, fear of lonelines was at
the basis of most of the rigidity in the social structures. She could
understand that, why was she still with Buron if it weren't for the
security of the couple and the stability of the socially acceptable
role model.
It was food time and she met Larron. They went to the
artificial green that was created at the centre of the city. It was
their sanity to sit and while away the time usually repeating the same
arguments but it was the company and understanding they needed. At one
celebration the had both hit the Morvin excessively, and out it all
came. Soon they were discussing leaving home and moving to a small foramp
and just living for themselves . They professed their great love and
how their relationship was the most important thing in their lives. But
luckily the Morvin had begun to affect certain biological functions
and they had what could only be called a loving calamiy. But what was
the greatest expression of their love was that they both laughed
at themselves and each other. They recognised the true boundaries of
their love and without any futher recrimination or guilt simply carried
on where they had left off.
Many were suspicious. Particularly when
either she or Larron began criticisng incompetence and a lack of
caring attitude, responses were not concerning their comments but little
more than veiled cajoling of morality. It seemed acceptable that you
could criticise non-conformity rather than having to face the issue at
hand. What was even more amazing was that even within the supposedly
revolutionary framework of the party it was the more personal
criticisms, again veiled in the catechism of the time, which was more
important than the actual rationale, especially when it was
uncomfortable.
They knew of someone at the school whose own conflicts
with the system had left him greatly dependent on morvin. non-alignment
with any of the arbitrary factions within the teaching staff had
alienated him from their paranoid insecurities exemplified by highly
developed group identities. His comments were basically ignored through
jibes concerning the morvin and of course his was a direction we should all take -
towards the Lidoro. She was beginnning now to see more and more where
he was coming from but she wondered whether it was too late. But more
unfortunately even if it wasn't why wasn't what she was doing good enough to replace his dependency. He had once said to her that there was
a great deal of wisdom drowned in the bottom of morvin glasses, and
maybe he had said scathingly the real roots of the revolution would
come throught excessive tax on the morvin. At the time she was well into
the party line so had dismissed him as had many others but now even she
was looking to drunken pathos for some kind of answer.
It was springtime, she could see it in the frolics of the salams but
the steps of the lizards were grim, dour .... BLOCKED. She put the
state of her head down to the spring fever - the frustration of the
evolution and spring being the time for evolution. Of course for
lizards spring was now the time for revolution she thought sadly. At
that precise moment she could hear the increased sound of the army
presence. There always now was some such action but not to this extent,
something was happening. She felt the excitement in the air, but an
excitement which gave her a foreboding with it for her an air of
uncertainty. She received a call from Larron "There is something
seriously happening in Grenton, there is a great deal of army. I am
going to see."
"Wait," she said "I will be there."
Soon she rushed
around and off to Grenton she went with Larron. Arriving there she saw
great turmoil. There was one person talking "I am a country lizard.
Never have I come into the plains or the cities. I have worked hard all
my life providing food for a reasonable rate of pay."
There were
murmurs of agreement the crowd completely accepted the work ethic.
"Then
recently there have been more and more travellers demanding more and
more produce for less and less money until finally three weeks ago they
came and destroyed our village, and locked our lizards in worker
compounds. I escaped and I come to tell my brothers."
Up stood someone
else "They lock up our brothers in the foramps and in the cities, they
treat us little better than salams, it's time we did something about
it." There were cheers but one person shouted "You're a bit late" as
they watched the young battling with the army while the rhetoric
protected the frightened and the intellectual onlookers. Larron and she
moved further on and Jana saw Clevon, one of her brightest students a
short distance away on the outskirts of the action.
She went up to him
"What's happening?" she asked.
"A picnic." he couldn't believe her, he
gave her an intense look which made her feel very uncomfortable.
Someone called Clevon "Over here", and she saw one of the soldiers
attacking the caller. As Clevon ran to him he shouted "Jana go home you
don't belong."
There was no anger no malice it was a statement for her
which really rocked her being. She had supposedly been active most of
her life in a struggle for freedom, through school, and she knew from
previous conversations that she had a meaningful understanding with
Clevon at the school and what it meant to him. But here the beginning
of some real action he simply said that she didn't belong with no
hatred or disrespect; she knew that she was in the wrong . It was time
to get out and fight. She did not go back to school, neither did
Larron. But they did go home. How many lizards had come to a
realisation that their struggle was meaningless? By now many had seen
and felt the barbs of frustration "Don't play with our lives, fight or
get out. We don't need no system buffers - do-gooders," .... advocates
of justice who through genuine caring simply deflect true desires. Where
would these same lizards go? Most, she knew, would give up, or even
worse describe the barbs as ignorance, frustration born from
repression, anything but TRUTH. But could this have changed some? Would
there now be a growing force for true action? At least there were two,
her and Larron. But what could they do? They recognised it was not
their fight ..... NO that was wrong, that aspect was not theirs. but
the fight was on all levels. She had heard that before at school,
another one of their verbal indigestions. But there was a sense of
truth.Yes, that was not her struggle but she had faculties which in the
right context could prove useful. But where? Some would say in what she
wasdoing but that was stitched up by the many inadequacies of the system
and that particular kind of system child. Gone were her times of
compromise with party line or hidden developments in the youngsters. No
more of those excuses - action with truth, action that was 100%, action
where its results would not be sucked into the morass of the system,
action that would not be justified because yhe morality was right. This
was going to be action for results. Evolution was the past, the patching
up had finished, inside her frustration system and sexual (the same)
had gone because she now recognised that all her life she had been waiting
to accept the revolution. Her soul and the revolution were united, the
one direction.
She had been summarily told where she did not belong
but she knew she was half looking for acceptance - apart from the
kicks. But there was one thing. Even when there was no right to expect
it trust had emerged. For all the wrong reasons she had been there and
yet there was still a trust. She must repay it. Apart from her
intelligence and system acceptance, her face was an asset - she must
begin to organise herself to utilise that. To begin with, that army was
an important tool; could she blunt it? The more she thought the more she
believed that the forces of the revolution were alive, the cycle had
moved beyond and instead of such as she acting against it with
her patching. She had seen it was always there, but had thought that was
simply the forces of change needing a little violent help. But now those
forces were blocked, there was no change and so the revolution was
building ... BUILT.
Her family was where she could begin. Ethics be
damned, she had started her war and that meant she would use what she
could including robbing from her father, a commander in the army. She
thought on this. Although she knew that those she fought lacked
integrity she had always believed that she must act correctly rather
than fight fire with fire, or get involved with mud-slinging. Yet here
she was being criminal. But yet there was a difference. For her now
life was war, life was not party games disguised as struggle. In her
evolution phase integrity was essential, in her new phase there was no
ethic except win. That was the direction of the world energy, and every
other aspect of Nature she wanted to call on for justification ...
though she didn't.
As she approached her dwelling she had only action
in her mind. But it would be stupid to limit her opportunities. There
was a dual advantage in her past. Firstly her father had been extremely
suspicious of her politics and in response she had been far more
vociferous to him than to others, but then given time he had
rationalised it by calling it a phase and granted his daugter an
integrity which classified her politics as a quirk. So long as she did
not alter her approach she had a ready source.Obviously he would not
discuss matters with her but he was not averse to leaving the odd
documents. But it was essential that this could not be traced to her.
She could use her previoous"activists". This would be a two-pronged
approach. Firstly she would allay suspicion from herself by planting
certain information with these lizards. And secondly in these lizards
being discovered with the information they would then become targets
for the army. So that the struggle would cease then to be academic as
they would suffer the physical brutalities of the system. The truth
would be internalised by bruises rather than rhetoric.
She reached the
entrance and her mother was the first to greet her. They smiled and their
tongues met perfunctorily displaying the lack which was a characteristic
of their class. "How is the school?" her mother asked dutifully. Her
mother was interested but the question was to derive her own type of
answer and not to listen to the words. Jana went into a short tirade
about some recent bungling and her mother simply answered "Isn't it
time you left, the job is destroying you?" But at least she was
satisfied, no better but at least it was no worse.
"You're right
mother," she answered more truthfully than ever "What should I
do join the army?"
At this obvious threat to tranqility her mother went
to the kitchen and began preparing the food. "You will stay to eat?"
she asked as an afterthought.
"Yes please!" she answered politely "but I
must,"she added as an afterthought "leave early, I have a hard day's
work tomorrow."
She could predict the maternal sigh. "Is father in?
Where can I find him?" she asked.
"He will be at the camp late
tonight," her mother said with an accepted despondence. "well while
you're cooking I'll work in the study. I don't have much to do, I won't
disturb anything ,will I?"
Her mother muttered something which tailed off innocuously as Janna
rushed to the study. She began to look through what was visible; not
much obviously with all the security. But she did notice a message
concerning Grenton, and this made it clear that the army was aware
before it happened. indeed were they partly responsible. Some of the
speakers? Designed inflammatory speeches? This was prrobably useful-
but only as confirmation. But there was an urgent letter concerning the
meeting he was now at. She took the agenda and copied it down, she could
usefully give this to friends .... to incriminate. But there was nothing
of interest here, she would have to go wider afield if she wqs going to
prove of use.
She finished her work and went to her mother cooking. "I
told you there wasn't much!" Her mother looked at her with a forced
smile. "You know these beegs are getting more and more expensive," she
said half-despairingly.
Jana looked at her; of course they were
getting more expensive the army was having to kill more lizards to get
them. But she'd tried telling her. Wasn't it sad? Her mother was
intelligent and yet on certain things she wouldn't, couldn't, see
beyond her snout. She wouldn't look beyond the cost and only blamed the
merchants who sold them. Jana smiled and told her how much hers had
increased, and they tutted together in the time-honoured tradition that
prevented real discussion of the truth. As they sat down to eat her
father arrived. He was angry, obviously a difficult meeting. She had
heard signs lately that even he was beginning to see the crime in his
job, but at his age tranquility was more important. Sometimes she could
partly see that but not too often. She looked at him differently now,
he wasn't her father he was now enemy and this then brought home the
fact that her mother was enemy as well. In the past the differences
were discussed, ignored or, at the worst violently argued, leaving huge
rifts. But not any more; she had entered on a path which meant that her
family ties had been completely destroyed by the recognition of
revolution.
And she was sad, because she was a responsible daughter. But
if they were in the way ... she gulped. Her mother asked "Is something
wrong with the beegs?"
"No they're fine, mother," she answered and she
thought she would break it to them.
"I was thinking about," she paused
unwittingly and her mother particularly looked at her dramatically "I
am not going back to school, what I am doing there is pointless."
She
admired her partial truth and its effect. When she looked at her mother
she could see a brief flash of joy, quickly overtaken by the
realisation that she now had no job. Her father blurted out in anger
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," she said " but I have
decided it is wrong what I am doing. Anyway I don't enjoy it any more."
"You're a quitter!" he launched into his anger "How long have you been
teaching and simply because in such a short time you haven't been able
to change the world you are quitting." She began her arguments but they
were fruitless and she slowly realised why. It was as if his social
conscience had quit. Here he was stuck in a job that he continued in
order to support his family but without ever having his heart in it.
And then Jana had begun to question their society. Although he had
always ridiculed her, even attacked all that she stood for, in the end
it was because she was that part of him that he wanted to live but
couldn't. And now it was that part of him dying. She felt so angry and
yet sympathetic. At first she'd been angry to see his intelligence
swamped, but now she was even angrier because she saw his trap - and
worse his feeble escape. Parents have no right to play with the lives
of their children like that, yet she could see why and she just felt so
totally frustrated. She walked out briefly, it was often the only way
and after a short space she came back to a less taut atmosphere. They
finished the meal in relative calm and she left. She took the long way
home and posted the agenda in Dinor's house just before calling the
army.
Waking up the next day she felt a great relief. Rather than there
being the vacuum she had unconsciously feared, she felt a sense of
freedom - her soul released? Although having time on her hands she also
had time to control her life, that control had been non-existent
whilst involved in the routine of work. Simply to have the time to
make small things work was a luxury.
And for her that brought back a sense of integrity which had
been lost. She could say this would happen and know that it would, or
she would be at fault - and not some individual/system cock-up. And
what was more important about this integrity was that she would make it
happen. It did. She realised that this was something very important,
in fact she remembered it having been important to her pupils and their
respecting it having occurred on occasions - on the whole too rare.
But although she had time because she had purpose her life had
meaning, and in that was the sense of security which was lacking in
others in a similar situation. But that purpose was only valid in action
and not rhetoric. But she would begin through a semi-rhetorical medium.
She had often been complimented on her writing style, she could begin
by using this gift. But not through the organisations that had
previously stifled true action. The question was where?
Maybe the where would find her. Get herself in print was the
first objective, but not through her political connections - although
meaning well they often tainted. Overt organisations were not the
answer but within was the caucus of true change. And they were
observant, they watched and searched. Or maybe they were just Fate!
Thomar and Bulor moved off to Grendale - the so-called ghetto.
Thomar now realised that Bulor did have real contacts amongst the young
- presumably he had been one of the activists the system had used to
smoke out the leaders. They would be of use, thought Thomar, not at the
moment but in future, by subtle exposure to valid literature and
careful monitoring of their progress they might qualify for one of the
movement's cells. That is unless crime takes them, he knew the dividing
line was thin.
Especially the way the system encouraged the crime, paying
backhanders to their stooge fences who encouraged the youth into
profitless crime - that was violent. The sole purpose of this was to
allow the adverse publicity of this type of crime to encourage the
insecurities of the browns. It is strange to think that through the
media-control the greens were made out as violent and uncontrollable,
yet the violence was being controlled and manipulated away from where
it could hurt. The real violence was brown, violence of the powerful,
violence of those in control, the violence of the corrupted system.
Thomar moved his mind away from the mental rhetoric, he had
to be careful. Bulor must not suspect and that would be difficult in
view of their long acquaintance. Once away from the cell where Bulor's
nervousness must have been to Thomar's advantage, now they would be on a
more equal footing. Both were trained in duplicity but Thomar was in it
for truth, Bulor only the power. This was a real edge from which his
cell had long seen benefit.
Soon they were deep into the ghetto. They arrived at a yard
Thomar knew for drugs - a useful cover under the eyes of the army.
Useful for the young who were suspected anyway, he could not stay his
cover was respectable. He pointed this out to Bulor who agreed.
"Why don't we arrange to meet and I will bring along Clemor
and Dumar?" It appeared innocent but he could not be separated. Tricky,
but solved. He saw recognition in two young lizards.
"I will meet you at Brador's," he moved off in that
direction but doubled back. He watched as the two youngsters swaggered
up. They showed their youthful arrogance, treating an adult as equal
was always fateful; adults had much more experience in corruption. But
he also watched Bulor, his own army arrogance betrayed him. Rather than
taking full advantage he was fishing letting out the line to bait them,
but with the arrogance of misused authority. How had Thomar let himself
be fooled? He played their games, the greetings, the casual chat, the
drugs all of which made the Lids feel superior because they thought
they were seeing through him. But it was a tiresome plod manoeuvre.
Thomar could see the game, a supposed intellectual someone they
disdained but were used to using.
Eventually he threw in, "I have weapons"
"What, heavy books!" they laughed. Bulor smiled suitably,
the benign patronising smile of the intellectual.
This only further amused them "Jet-propelled inkpens." They
continued to laugh "radioactive chalkdust, nuclear-charged briefcases"
They forced their raucous laughter, not because they were funny - they
knew they weren't; but to anger Bulor. Them and their precious
intellect, what good had it done anyone?
Bulor feigned annoyance, he began with a few quietly-voiced
appeals for silence. Then as he saw they were not responding, he raised
his voice. They looked at him, paused then continued laughing. They
were milking this. Then Bulor went completely quiet allowing feigned
rage to build up inside. Then he said "Enough I'm off" and he walked
off.
After a few strides Clemor shouted out "Calm down, can't
you take a joke?" He looked at Dumar and they smiled.
"We are interested in what you have to say, you came up
with the goods before."
"We're not talking petty fire-bombs now,"said Bulor
quietly, "you can really do damage with this."
They looked at him quizically, but putting on a face Clemor
said "take us to the goods, we will show these army shits".
Bulor smiled, he had them now. But more important he had
Thomar, Omthor and their arsenal. As they moved towards Brador's, Bulor
glanced round furtively.
Damn, thought Thomar, Bulor has had these two tailed; had
he been seen? Should he cut out? He waited and began to reason. He knew
that he was being tailed - by the cell. They will have seen Bulor's
glance and recognised its meaning so they would be wary. He would react
as if ignorant.
He backtracked and rushed off to Brador's before the rest
arrived. Soon he saw them. Motioning to follow Thomar left Brador's and
moved off down the street. He turned the corner and waited in the
shadows. As the three turned the corner he watched them pass and then
with a blaster pointed at Bulor he called out to halt. Bulor looked at
him in shock, had he been found out? Immediately Clemor rushed Thomar.
Taking his time Thomar swerved slightly to the side he used one paw to
grip Clemor's nozzle and the blaster hand pushing into the small of the
back, Clemor went flying round the corner his own momentum being a more
powerful weapon than the blaster. Almost immediately Dumar came at him
and with equal speed he was dispatched. Bulor remained still, he was
well aware of Thomar's training and with novices in the way he could
not hope to overcome the expert. Soon the defeated got up, and Thomar
motioned them back to Bulor. They looked angry - but they definitely
did not swagger back.
"Bulor, introduce me!" said Thomar crisply. He did so.
Dumar asked angrily "Was that necesary?" rubbing his back.
"Don't whine at me, yougster, these aren't toys we're
playing with and this is not a playground for immature bullyboys." He
looked at Dumar who was shocked and was about to bleet angrily again.
Then he looked at Clemor who was smiling wryly. He glared at him and
out of respect Clemor cleared his face but that was all. Thomar had
found what he came for. Now to carry out the rest of the plan.
He replaced his blaster and they moved off to the mock
arsenal. What exactly did he want to do? He felt he was in control and
therefore should try to gain optimum advantage .... before leaving
finally. But what was that to be? Choose the best, he thought. Bulor
dead, Clemor linked with the cell however superficially, Dumar rapped
smartly so he didn't dabble with danger and the army seeing the arsenal
destroyed , himself destroyed - and the cell undamaged. And of course
his escape to try elsewhere. Right, how?
Then it struck him, it was a matter of timing. He had to make
it appear to the spies that Bulor was in control, go with Bulor's plan
and at the last moment make the switch, apparently accidentally, so
that Bulor died from their own bullets. Tentative, unworkable - probably, he laughed to himself; what were plans anyway? Did they ever
succeed?
Having asserted himself earlier he knew that the others would
follow his lead exactly until Bulor made his move - he must watch for a
signal. Through overtly elaborate precautions he was able to throw the
switch which showed his arrival. The cover was a small warehouse with
in the forefront a plant for making crockery; it was one of many such
small businesses. They moved over to the delivery entrance where there
were stocked the cases of crockery. On the casings there were special
pre-arranged markings - with a dual purpose, one to distinguish the
weapons from the crockery and one to transmit a signal. He looked at
the other two carefully, then decided that he was not ready.
"Into the office," he ordered sharply, they looked at him
with misgivings but did as they were told.
"Details," he paused for effect. He looked poignantly at
Clemor then Dumar and finally Bulor. They were unsure.
"Well what are the detailed plans?" he snapped at Bulor.
"Don't let me down!" he muttered almost inaudibly, the threat clearly
coming through.
"I brought you the contacts, we make the plans from there,"
Bulor said hesitantly.
"Is that the whole strength of your plan?" he fingered the
butt of his blaster, his paw resting menacingly at the trigger, "is
that what I risked the cell for?"
He looked angrily at Bulor, it was not an act. Not only had
he been duped but Bulor had not felt it necessary to develop an
involved plan to trap him. This angered his pride, he was thinking of
finishing this now and cutting his losses.
Clemor interrupted, "It is his contacts who have the plan."
Thomar turned slowly to him. "We have the organisation to use the
weapons if we're allowed to use them," he said with confidence.
"Explain more," said Bulor. Thomar's mind leapt at that. This
was news to Bulor so the army had far underestimated these youngsters
- as he now realised had the cell. Why now? A danger signal. Why was
Bulor questioning now? He glanced again at Bulor who was keen with
anticipation. This meant something to him, enough to place the arsenal
second. The army was actually worried about these Lidors. So they were
organised, they were a serious threat. And Bulor wanted to know now.
Why now? Slowly realisation dawned, Bulor was not the only one
listening. How? Where they had met Clemor? He had picked up more than
these youngsters.
Clemor was continuing. "Certain of the gangs
are organised together. In each of these particular gangs there are two
or three of us Lids who meet and we plan best points of attack. Now if
we had blasters we could make much more of an impact and we could
control the criminality."
It was that mature perception which finally clinched it for
Thomar. He could not allow any more knowledge to go to the army. With
quick precise movements he turned and blasted Bulor. He knew he was
dead but he moved over and doublle-checked. He looked across at the
other two. Dumar was shaking but at least he was quiet. He looked
squarely at Clemor and drew his blaster quickly from left to right
across his jaw. Clemor began to move towards Thomar but he was motioned
back sharply. Thomar coughed to cover the silence and searching Bulor's
body found what he was looking for. He didn't remove it, it could have
some body sensor but motioning Clemor towards him just pointed.
Pushing the shocked Dumar he ran towards a back entrance.
Without being told Clemor simply followed. By the entrance Thomar
lifted up a sewer cover.
"At the other end someone will meet you, explain your
organisation to them and you will have the weapons you want," he
stopped. "Now hurry, the silence will bring the army spies." Both the
youngsters were down the tunnel before they realised that Thomar was
not with them. Clemor stopped, would he go back? No the momentary
pause over, he dragged Dumar along until they came upon Eddor.
Eddor looked at the two, Clemor in control and the shocked
shadow of Dumar. "What did Thomar say?" he asked peremptorily.
"To explain our organisation," replied Clemor succinctly.
They moved off Eddor taking them far from the decoy factory.
Meanwhile Thomar was taking stock of the situation, how long
had he got? Don't Lids always surprise you, he thought. One minute you
fight and fight and get nowhere with them. And the next they come out
with gems.
And Clemor was a gem. Organisation amongst youth,
organisation that saw what they were doing as struggle, saw the
realities of delinquency and used that as subterfuge. now that could be
used and to great effect. Obviously young Lidors with political
leanings would have been frowned upon by the criminals, it was part of
the socialisation. But to have worked their way in and still remained
political and to have organised. That was revolution. It was worth his
sacrifice.
Now to deal with the spies. He moved Bulor's body towards
the crates at the back and opened one or two. He put a weapon in
Bulor's paws and lay a few near the open crates. He balanced Bulor's
body and the blaster in such a way that once it was moved slightly it
would topple, setting off a trip-wire which would blow up the few arms
that were there. He took two of the weapons and placed them in
different corners of the plant. He took a final blaster with as many
clips as he could comfortably manage, and found himself a hide near the
entrance. And waited.
Almost immediately they came in, darting side to side. They
stopped - two he thought, looked around and saw Bulor standing at the
back. Had he seen them, they looked at each other. Thomar waited, there
were more than these two - he must take as many as possible. He watched
as the two agents moved slowly towards Bulor as if stalking a prey.
They were worried by his continued stillness. As they reached him no
reaction, he should have heard them, he hadn't. Instinctively they
dived to the side looking for any cover. Again they waited. No
reactions. They're beginning to feel there's no-one here, thought
Bulor. They stood up slowly, and moved towards Bulor again. Now they
concentrated solely on his body.
"Call in, " one said "there's no-one here."
Thomar smiled. That would bring more in. Carefully the two
began examining the body. Expertly one held the blaster while the other
examined the body in detail, yet leaviing it undisturbed. He stopped,
there was the wire. He moved a paw to his side and took out a small
object, Thomar presumed snippers - standard issue. Then he traced his
paw along the wire carefully and he found the bomb. Holding the
contacts open with his paw he snipped the trigger-wire. Then carefully
he snipped a further length of the wire, folded it over and placed it
between the contacts. The bomb was no danger, it never had been but
there were always mistakes. They must check for another so they called
for back-up.
In came four more and they began to move round the
warehouse. Biding his time Thomar checked the position of the six.
There were still the two examining Bulor, two to his left and two to
his right. He knew soon he would be discovered, they would check by the
entrance last but .. soon. He decided on the order. He fired at the two
on his left, these had to be precise. They were and he rolled over
towards them and fired at the two opposite. He wasn't sure. Quickly he
turned and fired at the two by Bulor. He ran round the back of the
plant. By Bulor there was one getting up, he fired again. He stayed
down this time, he fired at the other. He rolled forward but too late a
shot from behind caught his tail; he rolled off balance and bumped into
tne side of the plant. He saw out of the corner of his eye three more
come in through the entrance. He struggled over to Bulor and the
crates; he would take them with him. He saw the crate with the maroon
marking. Inside was a volatile liquid explosive and he took the
handbomb which he'd clipped round his underbelly. He pulled the pin and
thought, his plan had gone well Clemor was a bonus and it had only
failed in one part.
As he was running off Eddor heard the loud explosiion, he'd
expected nothing less. He felt a touch of remorse but .... no point in
thinking about it, these Lids had to be sorted out. He got on with his
work.
He forced the two lids to keep moving, their natural reaction
to return to help Thomar. But there wasn't far to go now. They turned a
corner, slid up a narrow causeway and they were outside this old slum.
Quickly Eddor rushed them inside before they could get their bearings.
He sat them down and gave them some beegs. Gradually he could see the
night's exhaustion creeping up on them, particularly Dumar. Soon he saw
their eyes close and he waited. Now sound asleep he woke Clemor and
quietly took him through to another room. Still drowsy Clemor followed
without argument, Eddor was pleased and produced a drink.
They sat quietly a moment until Clemor had wakened slightly.
"We have no intention of providing arms indescriminately to gangs of
criminal youths: we are not interested in mindless destruction. However
your organisation can be important to the struggle." He looked at
Clemor eyeing him warily.
"Can you see this?" asked Eddor. Clemor nodded. "What do you want
to know?"
"Names and contacts," he replied succinctly, "just a list."
"They are of no use to you, they will not help without me,"
answered Clemor with more than a touch of pride.
"Now that's true," agreed Eddor,"but when they mature ...."
"Even you don't realise!" interrupted Clemor "I expected it of
the army." He looked angrily at Eddor.
He carried on "Young lizards have a far greater maturity than you
give them credit for, it is the maturity of a revolution generation. We
have grown up in oppression and as a result we have grown up inside -
we are not allowed to grow outside. We cannot say or do what we think
because it is all a trap so the only growth is inside. Adults we cannot
trust, look what they have created for us. What they believe we must
reject because their world is part and parcel of their beliefs. So we
are left to ourselves. And for most it is crime for there is no law
because there is no justice. But for a few there is an innate need for
change - a change that is violent or peaceful. All that is unimportant
because things must change it is in our blood, our genes whatever. It
is us!"
Eddor looked shocked. Their cell considered themselves a
vanguard of organised clandestine conspriracy - a life style of
necessity. Their approach was considered, initially rationalised and
now integrated into action. But here Nature had done a better job. For
these lids it was no mind-construct, it was the air they breathed, it
was the food they ate and as such they were insatiable.
He gathered himself. "What do you want?"
"If we have weapons then my organisation can choose the targets.
No more petty crime, we can aim for political strategy. No more attacks
on our own, no more attacks on the poor, we direct ourselves at the
source , the money, the real power-base." Clemor was getting carried
away.
"On that basis we will provide the weapons but you must realise
that we cannot involve ourselves in your approach."said Eddor "you are
too vulnerable. The immaturity of those you work with will eventually
betray you either with petty power struggles or bribery of the
non-committed."
"You and yours are not the only secure group but I will bear
your advice in mind," he smiled at Eddor "we can have the guns?"
As Eddor walked off he simply said "I will contact you"; and he
would. But he walked away with doubts. Despite his obvious maturity
Clemor was still young and Eddor hated the manipulation of the young.
Even in his youth the young had been seen as the great hope of the
intellectual revolution and it was only as he grew older that he
realised they were only puppets of lizards who were talkers with no
action. And worse the youth became the cannon-fodder because they were
easily influenced into wildness and frustrated activity. Still he had
recognised Nature in Clemor and She was beyond question.
Recently Jana had begun writing fervently; it was as if the
years of being corrupted in education were being poured out in print.
But she wasn't sure what it was about, was there real meaning in
print? In the past it had been an excellent media because it was new.
In the past the printed word had inspired and created revolution but now it was
different. It was as if the establishment had recognised the power of
the word and introduced an immunity into the system, an immunity which
prevented Lidors from recognising that it was their contributions
which propogated the misery. Changes were unattainable, unaffectable; and
yet she believed it because there seemed nothing she could do.
Sometimes there was no power in what she wrote because in the end it
became nothing more than rote critiques, rote analysis and feigned rote
revelations producing the written rhetoric of revolution; these very
crimes being the ones she had hated in the ineffectual didactic
revolutionaries.
She heard a noise at the entrance, she was not expecting
anyone so she was wary. Knowing some of the stories her father had let
slip she knew that she was within the awareness of the military, if
not direct surveillance. Moving towards the entrance she noticed a
crisp but pleasant day, a coldness that sharpened her perceptions she
thought. There was an unknown lizard outside and he was moving around
very suspiciously. She caught his eye and with deference, yet with a
confident air, he moved towards her. He introduced himself. "My name is
Omthor and I am in the process of organising a new magazine. A friend
of mine Thomar" she remembered meeting Thomar, a strangely deep but
fascinating lizard " said he has spoken to you and he felt that you
would be interested in our work." This lizard although with strength
and seriousness had an engaging charm that relaxed you, she had no
hesitation in inviting him in.
"Would you like something to drink?" she
asked dutifully, Omthor used ceremony to break the ice and she was
unsure so was quite amenable. She noticed the ease with which he
settled into a proffered chair, not a brash chauvinist imposition but
this assured deference which promised a great deal more. But what?
She brought the drink and waited. Giving her due time Omthor
then took the lead. "We are running this magazine/journal called Unity.
A group of us had been involved in writing and other fringe political
activity, and we realised that instead of struggling for our true aims
many of us ended up in petty squabblings and bickering between
ourselves." he watched as her sympathy with these words radiated from
her almost as relief. He could feel her giddiness, her desire to shout
out her agreement. But she held it back not stifling it but neither
suffusing the atmosphere with unnecessary emotion. He liked that
reserve - common sense?
"It is not difficult to see that we are destroying ourselves,
why is what you are doing different?" she was not unsympathetic, she
knew she couldn't hide that; but this sort of exercise could simply
disguise another form of infighting.
"We aren't looking to be different, we simply want lizards to
sharpen their attacks on the enemy and not reinforce the system-created
divisions," he replied quietly.
This worried her, her convictions were being tested almost
immediately. "But it is difficult to focus our attacks on an unseen
enemy."
"Not that difficult, changing what they do is a bit harder,"
he continued smiling at her. She was beginning to resent that she was
feeling threatened.
"I am not clear, are you referring to the army government or
what?" her unsuredness came out in the lack of precision of her question.
"No they are the means of control, they are how the enemy
keeps us down," he answered.
"So the enemy are the capitalists, but I knew that," she was
beginning to hear the old story and her old prejudices began to pour
out. Was this some more rationalising gibberish? If it was why was she
so defensive?
"You must be careful of your education," he continued "it
would be easy to reject what I am saying simply as a response to
capitalism, colonialism or multinationals. They are words imbued by
the schools with power and meaning way beyond what they say, but even
worse they don't actually convey their true meaning because education
has created defensive blocks to the words."
"You speak as if it's a design," expecting a denial.
"Well isn't it?" he asked unassumingly.
"It certainly is the way it happens but design. No I can't
accept that. There are too many lizards who disagree."
"But what effect do they have?"
"None but that is because lizards don't listen."
"But they are trained not to listen otherwise they must
hear; they are not stupid just trained.
She lay back to recover. Either this lizard was
paranoia-personified or........ she had been duped. Although she had
recognised the failure of the system she had always thought it had just
well... failed. Designed to fail, she had recognised that parts were
producing failures. But Omthor was saying that the system was a
gigantic success, there was no failure involved in the system because
the system was a total success. From the enemy's point of view!!
She waited there quietly for a while and slowly Omthor
could see that she was recovering her energy.
"Could I have another drink?" he asked.
"But of course" she fetched the drink, happy for the
excuse.
Whilst she was out of the room Omthor began to appraise the
situation. He was actually quite pleased. Although Janar had in fact
been duped by the system she was at a stage where she could accept this
fully. She had an inner strength which meant that although she was not
fully aware she could internalise new arguments and that they would
then be part of her. In other words he thought selfishly he was not in
a pointless argument, not involved in intellectual exercise. However
clear and precise he was and however much the other person said they
agreed, so many times had he seen those same lizards carry on their
lives exactly the same way. The pinnacle of that frustration is when he
found himself in a repeated discussion, and this happened too often.
Lizards don't use discussion as a learning process, it's only a parlour
game or intellectual foreplay. Still that is the emasculation of their
education but understanding wasn't always enough to relieve the
frustration.
He brought his mind to a stop. Concentrate on the issue at
hand. Here was a lizard who listens, the drained look on her face the
pale green scales and the ease with which she took the excuse to leave
the scene of attack, all indicated that she was being dis-educated. And
that hurts!
She was returning and he gave her an appeasing smile; he
hadn't finished yet. There was potential but was she ready? She looked
at him and her inner fear showed through to him, her assailed
consciousness was apprehensive about another attack. And it was right
to be, but then it must be. He took the drink and waited to see if she
would relinquish the effort and discuss beegs.
"What you say is fascinating and I must say disturbing
but I am not sure about one or two points. You said that it isn't
difficult to attack the enemy..." her puzzled brow was looking strained
as she began the struggle with her internalised system.
He smiled gently at her discomfiture as he interrupted
her "what I said was that it was not difficult to focus on the enemy
but to attack them is different." She acknowledged an apology and he
continued. "The system is designed by the money lizards for the money
lizards, and to keep the money lizards safe from any repercussions. They
create buffers - government, teachers and social workers - and if those
buffers are not strong enough and some lizards break through they have
the army. These money lizards never get their claws wet, blood is let
by other lizards."
"This is the standard anti-capitalist argument, what's
new that you're saying?"
"Why should it be new? It has to be the same argument
because it has always been the money lizards who have caused the
problems. The only reason you want a new argument is because your
intellect is upset at not seeing it before. Lizards are mis-educated
with great intellectual pride; the idea that something is as simple as the
above is the root cause belittles that intellect and your ego
fights it." He watched as her scales went a lighter shade of green, and
he saw the skin at the edge of her jaws quiver as he slowly worked on
her system blocks. He was convinced now that Janar would join the cell.
"What we are trying to do in Unity is just to explain that it is not
complicated, it just hurts to be re-educated, to break down the
barriers the moneylids have created."
He feigned an appointment. "In two suns time the Unity
lids are meeting to discuss the next issue, would you come along?" he
asked "we can talk further then."
Now that he was going she felt a weary relief coming
over her. She stifled a yawn and replied "I would like to come just
tell me where and when." And he did. When he left she relaxed with her
drink and almost immediately she slept - this was odd she'd only just
got up.
As Omthor left Janar's he felt satisfied their converstaion
was creative and he knew it had a future. That in itself was rare. But
sometimes he wondered at these small starts, he often got depressed at
the enormity of the task. He had time to kill so he got hold of the
journal to find what the enemy was doing. It was never ending. Learn
what they do, write about it and then the same the next time; it was
ongoing. And that wasn't his real struggle.
It always amazed him the lengths these moneylids went to a
subterfuge. They had an exchange where they controlled their
businesses. There was only a few who owned the businesses but they
tried to do two things. Firstly to make it look as if many lizards were
involved and secondly make it appear as if anyone could take part.
Neither was true, but their subterfuges were great. They made their
money by dishonest dealings but they covered this up by intricate legal
dodges. There was a vast bank of laws and safeguards, all of which were
meaningless, to prevent the corruption but which were good for public
consumption. Not long ago they created this big scandal about fraud.
What they did was employ a stooge to "expose" some frauds. As a result
of these "exposures" they got their government to create new
legislation to prevent the fraud and they set up a new system to
supervise the laws. This made it appear that they were trying to stop
the corruption but that wasn't the case. What they did was to stop the
small fry trying to muscle in, that was clear because there was a green
caught by this and none of the real moneylids were greens. Also they
were able to employ some more puppets to safeguard their interests and
who could be blamed if something went wrong. But none of this was
actually what was happening. All of this was a cover while they changed
the rules of the exchange. Those at the top were taking an even bigger
slice of the cake. They were opening up the exchange so that the bigger
you are the easier it is for you. This would then concentrate the power
in even fewer hands. But none of this ever got said. He didn't use
Unity to say this because they would use it as an excuse to close it
down. The journals didn't say this because those in charge of them
would lose their fat salaries. It never got said, it never did. But
that didn't really matter even if it did get said it was so stitched up
that individuals couldn't do anything about it.
He glanced at the time, his appointment. Off he went
thinking about the need for collective action and re-education. But
after a while he calmed his mind and took in his environs. There were
many things to see that these moneylids hadn't touched. Ultimately
lizards were only part of the planet however much money liked to play
God.
Soon he reached the meeting-place and he saw Eldor with a
green he hadn't seen before. Eldor introduced Sokifa. "Sokifa has an
interesting story to tell about his village."
Sokifa began his tale "I suppose we had just kidded
ourselves. Vernice" they noticed him strain at that name but wouldn't
comment " and I had been to college and we knew things weren't good but
we were happy so we ignored ..." His voice trailed off as Omthor
recognised the old story. "Anyway it was all brought home to us by this
Paudi who within a week had completely destroyed the fabric of our
village. We opposed him but no-one listened and he soon took over. We
escaped but we found the whole planet is full of these Paudis, they
have taken over everywhere. And yet everyone seems to accept them. I
have travelled for two full turnings of the sun, and once lizards got
over the initial shock they seem to accept their situation. Village
upon village live with their exploitation. In the end I decided that
the only place where this might not be true is the capital.
"But I was wrong, it's exactly the same. Although the
lizards are richer they are trapped the same as the villagers only the
trappings are prettier." he sighed forlornly his voice tailing off at
the hopelessness of it all.
"Don't be despondent, Sokifa, there are many lizards who
are waking up to these truths and we are beginning to have some
affect." Omthor replied encouragingly "But it took centuries to create
and it will take centuries to destroy. But don't be downhearted it is a
struggle and we have to do it and that's it!"
Omthor smiled benignly at Sokifa, he recognised that this
country green had been through much torment - he remembered the
emphasis on Vernice, she was obviously family. But he knew of much
suffering, that was the nature of the exploitation, cheap labour and
all that. He knew it seemed cold but if that suffering didn't lead
lizards to recognise their enemy then there was no hope. It was the one
thing the moneylids could not control. In their excesses they created
more and more suffering, and that soon creates realisation of what is
truly happeninhg. eventually they destroy themselves. Empires have come
and gone, it was only a matter of time.
Skifi lay in a room; after his meeting with Omthor - he was
an interesting lizard! - Eldor had brought him back here. He now felt
that he was near the end of his journey or at least at a new
beginning; he had met with lizards who were moving in the right
direction, if nothing else. In that thought relaxation took over and
allowed him the space for recollection.
He drifted back to the blissful times with Vernice, times
he could now remember with love and not remorse. Then the arrival of
the brown armies followed by their flight from the village. Then that
fateful dawn Vernice's disappearance and death. Then he remembered a
long period of loneliness and his own self-pitying near expiry.
Then that strange schizophrenia, that alien union which
had saved his life and more. He remembered the first contact as if it
had occurred at the last dawn.
He rose with the sun almost unconsciously. At the back of
his mind was the aawareness of a miraculous recovery, a supernatural
effort of will and control - beyond the power of Vernice's dells. It
could be just survival, he thought.
It isn't, the thought came into his head. This surprised
them both, Skifi had not tried to make contact yet here the lizard had
heard him.
He tried again. "You won't understand this but there is
someone else here," he said forlornly, he had thought so often of what
he would try to convey if ever the chance came and yet when it did he
came out with this meaningless rubbish. "Let me try and explain this
more clearly. My name is Skifi, I am here inside your head...I am
another person."
That was it. He felt the whole of Sokifa's brain close
down, it could not accept any of this and it closed it all out with a
last gasp of energy. But Skifi followed these energy trails and he was
able to trace the roots of the flow. Pursueing Sokifa down his mental
currents he was able to map out the source of the flow and gradually he
worked out the way to establish control. Also by gaining that control
he would be able to control his energy and so develop the symbiotic
bond to mutual advantage.
In fighting him off the lizard was again tired. Slowly
sleep took over and that gave Skifi his chance. Re-examining his mental
map he searched out the currents he wanted to use, and began switching
the taps. He then began to integrate himself into the most profound
channels and soon he felt that Sokifa could not now expunge him even if
he tried. He waited for the tiredness to take its course. As if dawn
Sokifa awoke, it must have been a dream he thought.
"It wasn't," said Skifi, "and this time you have to come
to terms with it." He felt Sokifa try to raise his blocks but couldn't.
"There is no way you can force me out, I am now part of you.!"
"I have been pushed beyond, this is some kind of fantasy.
This is not real," muttered a mesmerised Sokifa. He shook himself but there was no change. He
scratched his arm, maybe pain will crack the illusions. But even the
sight of the trickle of blood could not dispel the presence.
"The sooner you accept me the sooner we can start the
changes. Don't you feel an awful lot healthier?" asked the human. At
this Sokifa began to feel the energy flowing in his body. He almost
felt fully fit.
"That's because of me," said Skifi, "Through your illness
and bereavement I have been able to get inside your mental body and
begin to control some of the pulses. Working together we can be strong,
stronger than you were before."
Sokifa felt revitalised, this could be true. But wait!
What was he thinking, how could a schizophrenic be stronger? It was a
split personality, not a joining of two. Unstable lizards, he had
heard, had created the most contrived of fantasies, none more so than
this. He laughed at himself.
"You can laugh, Sokifa, but you will accept me
eventually. Time now to eat."
Sokifa almost sprang up, it had been so long since he had
felt any real eneergy resource. And this was without food. Having eaten
he began to think of what to do. Relegating his madness to the back of
his mind he focussed on his present position. Obviously there was no way
back. What remained in the village and his recent journey had no
context for him without Vernice. So the way was forward, but how? What
did he have to offer? And that gave him his reason, perhaps he could
begin to warn the greens of the dangers ahead, to warn them of the
armies and warn them of the total breakdown of their way of life.
He still couldn't work out how it had all happened.
"Exploitation,"said Skifi.
Sokifa accepted the conversation without rationalising
it. "We had set up failsafes against a repeat of usury, it is a
historical fact." he informed Skifi.
"You might well have done but they haven't worked. But
how could they, not everyone was participating?" asked Skifi.
"What do you mean?" puzzled Sokifa.
"How much have you involved yourself in the maintaining of
balance, or failsafes or whatever label you give it?" asked Skifi
quietly.
"That's unfair. Both Vernice and I were actively
involved in the village council. And if you examine history you will
see that active participation in the affairs of the council was the way
in which the village kept abreast of changes and did not stagnate," defended Sokifa with apparent assurance, emotion and righteousness.
"That sounds good," placated Skifi, and he saw a shakiness which was
quickly suppressed. "You can't hide from me. I see all that you see, I
feel all that you feel but there is one difference. I have no wish to
suppress your thoughts that I don't like - the ultimate confessional
without an external divinity to hide behind."
Skifi continued "You realised then that you weren't
participating, why?"
"You're right, I went through the motions of the process
but we did not take enough care to be informed." answered Sokifa
apologetically.
"But that's not enough! You forgot one most important
detail, you isolated yourelves. You ran your lives as if your village
was a totality, a self-contained group - society. But it isn't! You know
that simply because of the need for trade," Skifi started to be more incisive.
"I see what you're saying. We recognised our role as
growers and we left it at that. Theoretically that should have been
suffficient but we forgot one thing - the lizard factor," answered Sokifa.
"Exactly," said Skifi, amused at the similarity of the
phrase. "It is typical of many failings that they are examined as to
their theoretical consequences instead of viewing what is happening
around them. You allowed a theoretical structure, your council and its
role, to dominate your thinking. And more importantly your actions.
But your actions have to be based on what is and not what you wou:d
like it to be. But the whole process did not break down quickly, it
took, a long long time. And because it took so long you allowed it to
creep up on you and take over."
"What is so stupid about all that you are saying is that
that was what was said at the end of,the last struggles," mused Sokifa. "Marocks
resolved at that time that within the structures of the councils there
must be a continual reappraisal of the relatiions of trade, economy
etc. But what did we do ? Instead of devoting our studies to an
understanding of the planetary context, we fooled ourselves into
accepting that because trade appeared to be flowing satisfactorily we
asumed the model created was sufficient."
"This question of a model continually arises, why do you
think that is?" asked Skifi realising for himself the full
significance.
"You learn about models in schools," replied Sokifa, both felt the surge
as the full impact hit them.
"That is it ." said Skifi. "You learn about models in schools, you
learn about the way things ought to be if the system followed the
model.But what really happens is that the system has for a long tome
not been following the model bbut merely using the model as a method of
duping the intellectuals, conning those that care into accepting
things the way they are because in theory they ought to be better. And
why aren't they better? The implication without being explicitly said
is lizard failure.
"But that is completely wrong," continued Sokifa. "There has been no effort
to follow the model for a long time. Instead the old forces of greed
have taken over again. They have developed divisive policies, they have
recreated the armies, there has grown a two-tier society of rich and
poor.
"Whilst at the same time teaching all lizards that there
is a free democratic system of councils, collective particpation and
all the other ideas that Marocks propounded."
"Yes all that theory was a trick a blind, indoctrination
to maintain the flow of production," agreed Skifi.
"Because of our belief in the theory we followed the
model with free will.." continued Sokifa.
"But in effect we were nothing but slaves with a higher
degree of autonomy that the whip that Paudi and others are using now." interrupted Skifi conclusively.
"So who are the masters?" asked Sokifa.
"That is our search." they both thought in unison.
Without realising there had been a fusion of minds. Both
Skifi and Sokifa had become so intertwined they ahd lost who was
saying who. For they had become united, their thoughts - their pattern of
thinking - was one. Their soul?
And neither noticed, for the creativity that had been
the power behind their discoveries was greater than both. What matters
personalities to such wisdom?
It was soon after this that Sokifa accepted the situation.
When they set off he gradually realised that he had come through his
remorse-created madness. This was not part of it. But their fusion of
minds - wisdom? - was more than this. This wasn't separate creatures
this wasn't one happenstance lizard who coincidentally resembled the
mental faculties of some erect bi-pedal slippery-skinned alien. For
Sokifa and Skifi were the same spore, the same ray, the same purpose in
the design. This was a nice thought, it could be mind-boggling but that
in itself would be a kind of fantasy like the model. It was not of real
consequence.
As Skifi's mind returned to the room he recalled that
their initial fusion had been permanent. There were times where the
experience of each had given greatere insight and the advantage of not
being able to fool yourself was a great timesaver. But other than that
they had got used to being Skifi. Neither questioned the situation.
There were at times remorse for Lauchidor, the village and times of no
strruggle but awareness prevented any dwelling on that. The need for
change, the murdering of lizards, all this mattered far more than any
moralistic self-pitying emotion. That was easy for them, emotion for one
was objectivity for the other, and sympathy could never be as strong as
first hand experience.
A knock at the door destroyed his meanderings and both felt it
portentous.
"Aren't we doing that through the magazine?" asked Janar
beginning to be suspicious.
"Of course we are," said Eldor "but is that enough?" He
knew Omthor, where was he leading?
Janar turned sharply at Eldor, "What are you suggesting?"
she said loudly, her vehemence a mixture of anticipation and fear.
"I am not suggesting anything in particular but what I am
saying is that it might not just be enough to write about unity. The
enemy aren't writing, they are actively involved in killing greens in
order to increase their coffers," answered Eldor.
"I sense a cell," said Skifi.
Eldor deferred to Omthor as Janar squirmed at the
implication. A cell, killing greens, reprisals, her background and
education threw up all the system hate-words - terrorism, guerilla,
revolutionary cadres - all now frightened her despite her commitment.
Omthor continued quietly. "We must not unduly worry
ourselves by melodramatic verbiage, we are still concerned with unity
and we will always be concerned with that. Don't," he paused
particularly looking at Janar "ever forget that. Use of inflammatory
words are designed to offput you, threaten your resolve, as well as
indoctrinate others. WE ARE UNITY and that is the end of it. That is
all we are concerned with. Whatever our actions, however political our
rhetoric, however antagonistic we might appear to their status quo, it
is we who are concerned about uniting lizards and not the moneylids -
the enemy. When they can explain murder as economic necessity, then
however violent we might be we have the justifcations on our side.
But," he smiled "we are not here suggesting armed struggle to the
death, we are not looking for suicide missions as vainglorious attempts
to promote our interests. These are politically senseless
acts...........at the moment. When we are considering such actions we
always have to remember that it is not only a question of truth it is
also a matter of force, and do we have that?"
"Not yet," said Eldor.
"And that is only a matter of time," said Skifi. There was
quiet concurrence.
"What do you want done?" Janar spoke with confidence; they
smiled.
"While I am not saying we should be participating
in armed struggle, I am saying that if there is an opportunity for
action then we should take it," began Omthor. "Now Janar has provided us, perhaps unwittingly with that opportunity." He smiled at her puzzled
looks. "A while back Janar recognised her true affiliations, and stole
some papers from her father..."
"H...how do you know?" she interrupted.
"Knowing where you stand now it must have been you. But," he held up his hand to pacify her "you needn't worry they will not
discover it, your father is the only person who could tell them and he
will either cover it up out of guilt or he will fail to recognise your
hand.
"But most important about this is that you don't
understand the position your father held and the papers you got hold
of. Now we cannot use the same gambit again, you cannot use your family
ties but we can use your situatiion without exposing your commitments.
"Firstly however your father is Secretary for Non-urban
Liaison. Beneath that innocuous title hides a great deal of power and
responsibility. He organises all the military who attack the greens, he
is second only to the Minister of Justice. He therefore has access to
all the garrison information, where the food sources bare where there is
greatest resistence and so on," Omthor paused, he saw Janar begin to squirm as a
nervous sweat began to trickle down her back. He looked on with
sympathy at this filial emotion. "Your father is only the nominal head,
what you must remember that he is not the real enemy he only performs a
function for them - and takes their punishment. He does not design the
attacks, he is only a part of their machinery. Although he is as guilty
as anyone who participates in their corruption, he should not be singled
out excessively because of his nominal title."
She could see what he was saying but what her father did
still hurt her. But then he was her father, she couldn't completely
dissociate from that; she had lived off the benefits of his crimes.
"Anyway," said Eldor sympathetically - they were all
feeling for her, whatever anyone said family ties were hard to break,
"your father is now going to do something positive." She was going to
snap at him but as he smiled she realised the irony and thought better
and laughed. They all joined in, the dividing moment over.
"We are going to use him to destroy their records.
Although this is a small action we hope it will disrupt. We have
obtained from the office some headed stationery. Now we have been able
to develop a combustible material which takes a full turn of the sun to
ignite, and what we want you to do is to place this combustible headed
paper in his bag so that when he returns to work it will ignite.
"Further to allay any suspicion we are going to organise a
demonstration and dummy raid at the garrison where he works so that
they will think that there is some kind of breach of security, and when
the records ignite they will blame the demonstrators. Maybe as a result
more will be harassed and recognise the true nature of the system."
Omthor concluded "What do you think?"
No-one ventured an opinion. They were silent as Omthor
looked around. Skifi broke the deadlock "it seems so unimportant, is it
worth the effort?"
"If you don't want to do it you don't have to do it," said
Omthor.
"I didn't say that and I don't feel that patronising
intimidation is the best way for unity. I don't feel guilty about my
doubts. To be quite honest it sounds a waste of time," said Skifi
angrily.
"Is that what you all think?" asked Omthor. He looked at
each in turn. Janar reluctantly nodded. Skifi controlling his anger
barely nodded, and Eldor who had been through this before remained
quiet.
"Well Skifi, what do you want us to do?" asked Omthor.
Skifi was now beginning to regret his defiance, not
because he felt unjustified but because he had no alternative. He gave
Omthor an apologetic shrug, "You know I have no answer."
"Will what I suggest be of any use?" asked Omthor.
"If it works it might have some use in temporary
disruption but what if it fails?" asked Skifi.
"What if it does fail?" and again Skifi had no answer
because no harm could be done.
"I see what you're saying, Omthor." began Skifi realising
now the purpose of the exercise. "If your plan succeeds then it will be
of some, but little, positive use. And equally important it can cause
us no harm even if it fails."
"But think a bit deeper!" demanded Omthor.
"We...ell!" he began slowly, "what is there that we can
do? We can continue with our writing but for some that is not enough we
need some form of action. But we cannot take important steps through
action because they have the system tied up. Murder, who? Destroy,
what? As individuals there is little we can do. We are fighting a
monstrous system whose sole purpose is self-perpetuation of the enemy,
the moneylids. But remove one cog and there is another to take its
place. While there are always those to take places the system will
continue. While money is valued more than lizards, then there will
always be those who accept murdering lizards as a necessary evil
in order to get those rewards. Therefore we can only wait for others to
understand."
"And while we wait lizards die!" said Janar angry with
frustration.
"Yes!" said Omthor "but we must live with the
frustration. These moneylids are not stupid otherwise they, as a very
small minority, would not have gained absolute control. They have a
deviously-developed system which we as a minority cannot hope to
overthrow and therefore we live with frustration."
"But we carry on the struggle!" Their discussion was
over, they knew there was agreement even though it was somewhat
forlorn. They separated waiting to begin tomorrow.
He reached his quarters and was soon overtaken by a
faintness, akin to a mild vertigo. But he was still in control. He lay
down. Suddenly he felt a buzzing inside his head. He concentrated on it. It developed into a mild whine. And the more he concentrated the more
the whine began to take over. He continued to concentrate and he felt
his ears begin to follow the sound. It was as if he, with his ears,
were moving outside his head following the sound. The sound moved off
above his head yet it seemed attached to his brow. His body began to
feel heavy as if all the weight had moved to the pit of his stomach. He
let it remain there as he looked at the sound above his brow, there
seemed a path to it. He returned along this path and he moved inside
his brow. From inside different parts of him all seemed to come
together and then seemed to move out to meet the sound. It seemed to
follow the path of the sound higher and higher, and the more Skifi
looked the further the path took him. Until finally the effort seemed
to just burn up, and his whole being seemed suffused with a terrific
light. And this light burned back down the path and entered his whole
being. He looked at his claws he could feel them tingle. As he flexed
his tail he could almost see it leave an auric trail as the residue of
the sparkler left its pattern. He felt so good, so full of life it was
as if he would never sleep.
Slowly his ecstasy diffused, and he stared gratefully up
again at the path from his brow. He knew that he was alone, that Skifi
was gone, and he realised that Vernice had gone as well. But thanks to
his alien guest there were now no chasms - only fond memories. And more
a purpose, a struggle.
****************
Skifi looked down at the broken pencil. There was now no
doubts, no blocks, no ambivalences. He knew what his gift was for: he
began to write. There was a knock at the door; who was she?THE BEGINNING
PACE IS GATHERING
COMING TOGETHER
THE NEXT STAGE
There were four present, Omthor, Janar. Skifi and Eldor.
Apart from Omthor, they were there for the magazine - at least so they
thought. They began with long discussions of articles, front covers and
design; all seemed to centre around Omthor but he was just giving head.
But soon he directed discussion towards concept. "Unity is essential
but as we all recognise if it is theoretical then it has no meaning;
it is merely a tool of the enemy. We need a practical demonstration of
unity."
THE PARTING
At the end of the day Skifi moved off to his quarters. He
was trying to gain enthusiasm for the venture but it didn't come:
perhaps it was better it didn't. Maybe treating the escapade as some
perfunctory action within his routine was the best strategy.
Who is Wai Zandtao? Biopic of Wai Zandtao. |
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