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Compromise creeps. Once compromise gets into your life, it creeps and expands. This is the nature of compromise. Does it matter that we allow for compromise to creep?
It is also necessary to understand that the nature for ego is to creep and expand. When we allow for ego in our life, then that ego will attempt to creep and expand. This is the nature of ego. Does it matter that we allow for ego to creep and expand?
The answer to that question is a much clearer negative.
Now ask the question concerning kilesa – defilements of greed, hatred and delusion. The nature of kilesa is to creep and expand, do we allow for kilesa to creep and expand? The answer to this question is a definite negative. An even greater clarity.
The effect of conditioning creeps and expands, do we allow for conditioning to creep and expand? For seekers attempting to follow the path there would be a categoric negative to allowing increased conditioning in our lives. But if we ask a seeker if there is increased conditioning in their lives, there might not be a clear answer because conditioning might be hard to recognise. It might be hard to recognise the expanding impact of conditioning.
Conditioning arises out of causes and conditions in daily life, they do not arise from the path. So this gives us our benchmark for seeing conditioning, is it the path or conditioning?
Now let us examine conditioning as it affects the individual, it produces kilesa. For seekers and moral people kilesa (greed, hatred and delusion) are not acceptable. But what creates the causes and conditions of conditionality – paticcasamuppada? Kilesa, the path does not create conditioning, the path follows nature, there is not conditioning, no kilesa, no conditioned egos. Are we following the path when we compromise?
As part of our path we attempt to go beyond conditioning but we are held back by our egos, our creeping and potentially-expanding egos. Yet to avoid egos we try to follow our paths as much as possible. That is the situation of most seekers in daily life – avoiding egos.
But in this game of conditioning there is an additional dimension we need to consider, that is the fact that our upbringing is fundamentally conditioning. In order to survive nature gives us instincts; if the conditioning works these instincts build up a self of conditioned egos whose self-esteem leads to a young adult becoming established in daily life. The dilemma is that, as mature adults even though this self-esteem has provided for our survival, it is part of the maturing process that these conditioned egos are released. Mature seekers try to release the self-esteem that has helped establish survival into the conditioned daily life, and follow their path. When it comes to kilesa the siladhamma of the seeker will readily want to release the egos that give rise to defilement of greed, hatred and delusion. But the seeker needs to develop wisdom to discern what is conditioning in their daily lives otherwise how will the conditioning be recognised?
And so we come to compromise. We are forced to compromise in our daily life. Fundamentally in patriarchy we need money to survive, very few of us are able to “live off the grid”. But this is perhaps not the worst compromise. For those for whom survival conditioning has worked best, their self-esteem was so strong that a whole life based around this ego has been created. Their compromise with daily life is comprehensive. What do these seekers do when the path comes calling? How does the path react to this comprehensive compromise?
For most seekers they are in some ways fortunate, their seeking usually arises because their upbringing has not led to a conditioned life with "social success. They have not gained the egoic benefits of a conditioned life - they have not achieved the perceived successes of daily life, to a much lesser extent are these outsiders not compromised by daily life. There is still the compromise of survival through the need to earn money but that conditioned compromise has less of a hold. For these outsiders the reduced compromise becomes easier to handle whilst they continue seeking. But even for these less-compromised seekers there is a need for ongoing monitoring and questioning. Do I have kilesa? Do I have egos? How much is my path compromised?
For those people for whom conditioned upbringing provided self-esteem and established them in a compromised daily life, the questions are the same - Do I have kilesa? Do I have egos? How much is my path compromised? But the last question is so much harder for these socially-successful seekers because they have developed responsibilities. They have an additional question to ask compared to the outsider – are my responsibilities noble? A good word for these noble responsibilities is duty. It is part of our path to fulfil our duty.
Duty is noble, and it is still path. But because duty is part of daily life, duty is subject to the creeping expansion of compromise. It is important for these seekers to discern what is the nobility of their duty and what is the compromise of conditioning. It is so easy for such seekers to be sucked into the perceived successes of daily life, lose sight of their noble duty, and increase the egoic compromise with daily life.
For all people on the path there needs to be ongoing enquiry, let’s examine that enquiry?
 Have seekers attached to kilesa?
Have seekers attached to conditioned egos?
Have seekers understood the nobility of their duty or have they attached to the compromise of the conditioning of daily life?
To answer these questions the seeker needs discernment – wisdom, so the seeker needs an additional question “how are they developing wisdom for discernment?” This wisdom is especially important because of love. For those who grew up with self-esteem then that self-esteem might have developed romantic love. Such romantic love is notoriously unstable as can be seen by the many failures of marriage (from romantic love) in daily life. But the consequences of romantic love can still yield the nobility of duty such as family and social responsibility. Recognising and accepting the nobility of this duty can become hard when it meets the defilements that arise from compromising with daily life. In terms of wisdom this requires discernment, in terms of daily life this requires detachment so that the seeker can see through the egos of daily life’s compromises.
Neither discernment nor detachment will arise naturally through living daily life, ongoing immersion in daily life will only increase the conditioning – develop more egos. The seeker needs the intention to develop such discernment and detachment – to escape the development of conditioned egos. Zandtaomed as an elder, of course, recommends MwB meditation to develop these aspects of wisdom and tathata – the wisdom of discernment, the tathata of detachment. But seekers are at different levels of dedication to the path so meditation might not be their choice. Such seekers at least need the intention of this wisdom and tathata, in terms of the spirit of enquiry these seekers ask:-
Have seekers developed discernment and detachment to recognise the nobility of their duty as opposed to the egos of compromised daily life?
Immersion here is also a relevant question. To follow the path requires a 100%-dedication, because of the compromise of survival few can have this. Unfortunately for some seekers the immersion is the opposite, their immersion is nearer to being 100%-compromised in daily life. Such seekers need to make a decision to end that level of daily life immersion. Whilst maintaining their dedication to the nobility of their duty, such seekers need to invest more of their time and energy in the path. The more time such seekers actually spend on path activities the less the immersion of daily life will have control of them. Such seekers need to make an active decision to be less immersed in daily life and more dedicated to the path – whilst maintaining the nobility of their duty.
Much of this decreased immersion in daily life can be achieved through the choice of friends (kalyana-mitta) and leisure activities. If leisure activities were actually connected to the path, decreased immersion would automatically occur; wisdom and tathata would begin to develop. This is one reason why spiritual bypassing is egoic, simply by being in contact with "advanced seekers" those following the path will begin to end the immersion of compromise with daily life.
For those developing an awareness of the path the need to recognise the egoic nature of compromise is essential. Compromise is the systemic ego, and for seekers the need to recognise what is required as noble duty is important to know. The Buddha spoke of “knowing and seeing the way things are”, this is wisdom and tathata. For seekers in our daily lives we need to develop discernment and detachment so that we know and see daily life so that it doesn’t compromise us with conditioned egos.
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Advice from Zandtaomed
