Cult - #NatureCompassionDecency
[Note:- Am I entitled to have views or opinions or speculations? Please don't take what is in this blog as any form of spiritual advice or a z-quest. Something sparked this blog, in this case the TV series "The Vow". What do I know of the actual situation on NXIVM? This is speculation about a TV interpretation. How can that be advice or a quest into consciousness?]
I have been watching “The Vow” – a fascinating series, it is good to get into some of the details to help warn seekers. Take this warning with a pinch of salt because what are the facts?
There was much that was wrong in what was presented as the NXIVM setup. Firstly it was a business and the product was wellness. As a wellness package it appears to have been a successful business for the type of people who were targetted, and from what I can see the wellness and personal growth were reasonable content - hence satisfied customers. For this wellness business model the target was people already successful seeking more, and the courses were designed to build up self-esteem; this is why I call it a business model.
Successful people within NXIVM were highlighted by sashes, and this success appears to be based on marketing ability as well as being able to deliver course modules; it was not the path. From wiki this marketing was a form of Ponzi scheme but the marketers were also course deliverers; longer term members of NXIVM were invested in the product and it appears they gained personal growth.
NXIVM was never a religion, made no spiritual claims, and had no path aspirations. This was an essential part of the cult aspect of NXIVM. The seekers within NXIVM were developing self-esteem, the target group – successful business people and actors etc – had developed successful egos already; and this ego was targetted by KR. For those who got close to him he fostered an egoic approach in which he manipulated their egos. Essentially in the end he replaced the path with himself as a Guru. Amusingly when he met HHDL and HHDL called him a Guru he feigned coyness, but he was using the Guru strategy throughout. But unlike Gurus his ultimate objective was not the path; although I am not a fan of the Guru approach Gurus within Tibetan for example are teaching about the path – sunnata, and at some stage relinquish their Guru influence so that seekers can follow the path of sunnata.
This brings me to where the NXIVM model is clearly flawed. Compassion and decency were recognised but egoically, ethical improvement – sila – was closely tied to self-esteem – the promotion of self. KR built up the notion that these people could "make a difference", and this would have appealed to his targets. They had the self-esteem which would make them think they could "make a difference", they had the self-esteem of the privileged. KR built up self and tore it down making love for KR – the Guru – the replacement for self. This is the point at which wellness might become following the path, when self is replaced by the path – the anatta of Buddhism. Presumably KR had worked this out, recognised that wellness built up self-esteem, knew that that self was fragile (non-existent), tore it down replacing it with love for him rather than wellness becoming “following the path”.
In MwB terms how much were the 4 Dhamma comrades present within his programmes? How much meditation was there? Of the 4 tetrads there was no reconnection with Dhamma, that was replaced by “love for KR”. For the 3-memes:-
there was no faith in the path, that faith was replaced by love and trust for KR. There was no best vihara because the programmes promoted self-esteem, not the release of selves for the best vihara. The programme was not about “doing the best we can”. For those deep into the programme doing their best became a tool to beat the seekers with in that KR was always demanding more and creating failure as an egoic strategy. The zandtaomed advice would have been helpful for those seekers, and using the advice could have shown the NXIVM seekers what to do.
In reality it would not likely to have been helpful because these seekers were in a self-developing trap with the KR-guru the prize. At the same time it was a young-ish community in which sexual relationships developed – were encouraged? In The Vow a wife went through the appalling decision of separating from her husband in order to escape the cult; fortunately they later reunited outside the cult and participated in the process of bringing KR to justice.
The guidance concerning the sex is straight forward. If the teacher is having sex with the students (seekers) get out of there. Two flags for genuine spirituality are that this wellness was concerned with attracting wealth and power to a business so money tainted it. And the leader was having sex with a student. If there is profit involved – as opposed to sufficient money for accommodation, centre upkeep and the wellbeing of the teacher, get out of there; if sex is involved get out of there. Of course NXIVM was wellness and not spirituality; if wellness is not part of a spiritual path with the protections of sunnata and its 4 Dhamma comrades (or the equivalent Dham(r)ma practice), then the seekers are vulnerable because their selves through self-esteem could be exploited.
Finally the last protection that arises from following the path is autonomy, and with autonomy no-one connected with NXIVM would have allowed KR to exert overpowering influence as there would have been individual direction and would not have been a broken self. Clearly it was collective pressure sourced in KR that gave that influence power. Many people had some sort of involvement with NXIVM through courses, these people were not subject to any form of litigious harassment. In The Vow people sought lost money from within the business in some cases legally, and were then harassed by KR, through the law. If they had cut their losses and just left, would there have been the harassment? I am not defending KR, but could they have just left? Was it the exposing that led to the attacks?
Of course exposing KR was necessary, but it was part of KR’s strategy to make connections – play the system. Patriarchy defends itself, and whilst successful KR and NXIVM was part of the patriarchy.
KR clearly understood the power of conditioning. He played on conditioning in our upbringing that gave rise to self-esteem, and he recognised that his targeted seekers were not going to let go of self as they matured because their self-esteem had given them success. He knew that self would try to perpetuate itself so he manipulated ego firstly in that perpetuation. Then he took away the ego, and in that breakdown of self-esteem replaced the egos of self with his Guru self - instead of the path. Whilst he promoted ethics that sila was not strong enough to develop autonomy, and because there were no attempts at reconnecting with Dhamma the seekers were only left with KR as guru. Is this an indicator that sila is not enough? Do we need sila and Dhamma practice?
KR understood that in our patriarchy we are not going to attempt to move beyond conditioning. He knew that the egos that built up self were always going to remain within causes and conditions, and that his targeted people would seek to enlarge their egos through his training programmes – programmes that built self-esteem. As with all selves such self-esteem is vulnerable and that is what KR manipulated – the self. He raised the self then knocked it down, raised it knocked it down, and when his knocked-down clients were most vulnerable raised his Guru self as the replacement for the path.
Have just slept through and half-watched “Seduced: Inside the NXIVM cult”, but became awake and focussed on the final part. This series was India Oxenberg’s payback (Executive Producer), and it described her eventually escaping KR’s control. I am so glad for her.
She was very fortunate, she had money, a pushy Mom, and had evidence. But had she committed crimes as a victim? Watching “The Vow” – up to s02e02 – she was still under KR’s influence. Maybe she escaped legal repercussions because she was young, 19, when she first got sucked in?
Allison Mack looked to be a victim from what I have seen. She had been completely manipulated by KR. Perhaps she was more instrumental in the running of DOS but she was running it as part of her enslavement to KR. All except KR pleaded guilty, was this a tactic? Or were they beginning to escape the clutches of this predator? How did the law decide on who to prosecute as all were under KR’s influence in some way? Maybe Nancy made a sufficiently independent choice?
Steve Hassan ep4 of Seduced 1.16.50 “We are no longer in an age of information, we are living in an age of influencing.” Years ago I used to call this fashion, but influence is a much more insidious force – and a much more apt description. As a teacher I would watch as kids copied fashions – cloning themselves to the latest pop group, and I would watch as bright young girls would turn into horrendous teenage stereotypes/ sex objects; the influence was too strong. Maybe they escaped the stereotyping when older?
So why doesn’t education do something about it? Quite simply – patriarchy. One description of patriarchal conditioning is the power and influence of the 1%. Patriarchy wants people amenable to influence. Manipulators like KR are simply taking advantage of the way patriarchal conditioning works in general. Steve spoke of ethical influence giving people freedom of choice, but the patriarchy does not want freedom of choice. KR however targetted and manipulated the 1%, Clare Bronfman – Seagram’s heiress; the 1% will close ranks on that. Her father could not prevent his daughter being sucked in, that has to frighten the 1%.
KR is an extreme anomaly within patriarchal conditioning, a person with sufficient tathata and wisdom to understand conditioning but insufficient sila and connection to Dhamma for truth to control his conduct. His self-esteem was too strong, and within our conditioning there are not sufficient forces pushing us to release our selves. This is a problem of patriarchy. The 1% want power and influence but they don’t want their children to be subject to that influence.
This comes down to education, and why in Viveka-zandtao I developed #NatureCompassionDecency as education’s defence against cults. But the 1% don’t want this - #NatureCompassionDecency. So of course they will look for a compromise that will protect their own – maybe through the legislature.
But as stated above the autonomy that arises from the path is sufficient protection. KR imposed himself as a surrogate-sunnata, he created the conditions so that when the path wanted to take a seeker towards sunnata he became their “spiritual love” – especially for the women.
These were also privileged people that KR targetted. Their privilege was an important aspect of his model. These privileged had the self-esteem that they could"make a difference", when KR told them tyhey were an important vangurad for change, they were full of their own selves to believe it. Their privilege was an important aspect of their self-esteem, and at the same time part of the power and influence the 1% wants to maintain.
Another way of describing the solution is that we can educate for people to go beyond conditioning, we can at least sow the seed of going beyond; there is not the personal development at school age to consider going beyond as they have not been subject to sufficient conditioning. In Buddhist countries flagging “beyond” touches awareness through discussions of the Buddha’s life. In Christian countries awakening is not part of religious development so perhaps the curriculum could contain discussion of the Buddha’s awakening. That might get through patriarchal censors.
The integrated path of compassion, insight and creativity - the struggle for GAIA. 
