Life for bill, zandtaomed and zandtao has been fortunate in that from an early age, 23, bill partially reconnected with the path. This partial reconnection took him to writing, compassion and teaching, and whilst teaching is dominated by the corporate paradigm (1%-satrapy or patriarchy) bill was still fortunate enough to be teaching – and have sufficient to retire early and follow his path as zandtaomed then zandtao.
In following his path bill retired early, zandtao developed his practice - ZPAP, and recently crossed the threshold of autonomy; in this autonomy zandtao continues his practice but is mainly focussed on his quest into the unknown through writing. That quest into the unknown is Eckhart’s 2nd aspect of consciousness - conscious evolution.
In retirement zandtao has been able to help with some meditation training through zandtaomed, but in truth zandtaomed has not been fully equipped to do such. Recognising his limitations allows him to continue legitimately but advice can only be based on his experience – as such it is better advice but .... However there are risks concerning trauma. Bill's own trauma is limited so when handling trauma he is risking making matters worse even though his intentions are good. In truth zandtaomed evaluates that the trauma aspects of zandtaomed’s work has not caused harm but at times the advice could have been at risk.
If.Ph D concerns a what if. What if at 23 bill had reconnected to the path with sufficient strength that he could then have been an adviser – a Kalyana Mitta; zandtao supposes this would have been his ideal life. It was not possible to be so but what if …. Bill quite likely would have wanted to jump in and teach, the path grabs you that way. That would not have been the wisest. Hopefully Bill would have learned the need to be trained in trauma counselling.
Nicola Amadora PhD is the teacher who has helped zandtao produce a love-wisdom balance. When zandtao saw her quoting PhD, he questioned because academia as a whole sucks - there are parts .... But the truth is that a wise zandtaomed would have become zandtaomed PhD in the hope that that would give him some knowledge of what experienced people have used previously in trauma counselling. Whilst this second-hand knowledge does not match with any experience zandtaomed has felt, it is better than going in cold and hoping. Zandtao cannot say but he suspects there would still be risks, but what zandtaomed brings in terms of his openness, compassion and limited wisdom would enhance the academic training and limit those risks.
Listen to Nicola on this she is clear:-
Nicola’s words are based in experience as she brings training into her spiritual work. Zandtao remembers Brad Warner saying something like he offered spiritual teaching, and for trauma these seekers must go to a clinician. This has been zandtaomed’s approach. If he had met trauma that he couldn’t cope with he was prepared to advise “going elsewhere” such as Nicola, but by then harm might have been done. Fortunately he assesses that no harm has been done. For this reason this is not a post instigated by guilt, but the trauma he has met might have been handled better – who knows? And if it happened in the future? Zandtao would now choose his experience backed up by training - hopefully to Ph D (a timewise impossibility).
It is worth expanding on this timewise-impossibility. During his 2nd childhood (the time between his upheaval at 23 and his retirement at 54) bill made some spiritual advances including the use of some techniques such as Nyanga. These advances were experienced, how can such experience possibly be understood as the 2nd-hand knowledge of academia? Could such techniques be taught especially to younger students without trauma?
In addition his profession gave him 30 years of teaching experience. Non-teachers equate this experience with their own schooling at desks – a skewed memory, and they also focus on the subject of the teacher – in bill’s case a maths teacher. In Matriellez bill rarely talks of maths, as his profession was concerned with teaching – in other words how the students learned and how the teacher can help. How can this not have application to a kalyana mitta? From a teaching point of view there are many weaknesses in the pedagogical practices of spiritual teaching, and that is without the more defiled practices discussed by the ASI and addressed by the ASI’s honor code.
The impossibility of a "what if" is that it is not real; lives don't follow rules. Zandtao would not have followed his path if his awakening had led to immediate spiritual teaching. His current understanding would not have been gained in the "what if" lifetime so there might well have been no personal experiences and no personal recognition of the value of his pedagogical experience. What this reflection is concerned with is the "kalyana mitta" principle - if possible a spiritual teacher needs training in trauma work. "On the job" training runs a great many risks no matter how well intentioned and how compassionate. When there are people raising this doubt and spiritual teachers ignore them there is ego involved, such questions need to be raised.
Alternatively zandtaomed might have become a Teal Swan counsellor. If on upheaval his path had taken him to studying with Teal Swan in Costa Rica, maybe he could hopefully have trained to become one of her counsellors. Whilst zandtaomed is less sure of this "What if" - he has no knowledge of the program, what he is not unsure of is Teal's love-wisdom; hopefully this would have shown through in her counselling training.
We have reached the path thing that bugs zandtao about Mcmindfulness and Commune. As generalisations Mcmindfulness offers “mindfulness within patriarchy” or mindfulness that helps with productivity – such mindfulness might also help with some well-being but avoids mindfulness as part of the path. Commune works on trauma and well-being, and whilst zandtao considers the teachers are probably on their paths limited spiritual work is done in Commune; at least Commune describes itself as holistic health bringing its purpose well within patriarchy. As such (within patriarchy) following the Mcmindfulness and Commune approaches, there is no evolution. Evolution occurs on the spiritual path, that is what zandtaomed was advising towards - with limited success.
As a result autonomy led zandtao away from zandtaomed and onto a quest into the unknown – conscious evolution.
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