In the 1st chapter zandtao allowed Michael Beckwith to talk of his spiritual liberation as if it was zandtao’s autonomy because zandtao resonated with what Pastor Michael was saying. But in this chapter zandtao wants to consider in detail what his own autonomy means and how it has been for zandtao since crossing the threshold of autonomy.
One reason zandtao fell in line with Michael is because Michael expresses spiritual liberation in the terms that he does. This expression tends to embrace the joys of the path – the fruits; zandtao is not so effusive in his expression. Is this any more than just the way he is?
It took zandtao a while to understand that the threshold was autonomy, in some way this was part of a process for zandtao to realise that the path was this autonomy. Through his quest into the unknown concerning secular path? LINK zandtao gradually found himself increasingly distancing himself from the institutions of Buddhism – although not from the teachers that continue to teach him. Zandtao sees this autonomy as raftless – using Thay’s description that arises from the Buddha sutta on the raft LINK. Just because this raftlessness is Buddhism does not mean that zandtao is losing autonomy, it is part of autonomy's choice and not a choice made for him by Buddhism or its teachers. Essentially zandtao’s autonomy makes him NOT a follower.
Zandtao might previously have described himself as a follower of Buddhadasa, he certainly recognised that Buddhadasa was his teacher and zandtao still recognises that Buddhadasa has a great deal to teach him. But zandtao’s autonomy chooses.
The greatest gift Buddhadasa gave zandtao was anapanasati bhavana, and this meditation approach has led to ZPAP link. In evaluating his autonomy zandtao will be looking at his meditation practice, how it has changed, and the mistakes he has made in his autonomy.
To start his evaluation will begin with the very warning LINK that is the entrance to the Prajna Portal, in the Diamond sutra the Buddha advises that in prajna we continue the same practice that took us to prajna. Unintentionally this has not happened, and this change has led to his mistake in autonomy. On crossing the threshold zandtao left zanshadtao and began to examine Real Love LINK, and through Real Love developed the love-wisdom balance leading to tathata. This change in his understanding led to a change in his practice – this was all good.
But it is only as the practice has developed has zandtao realised that this change has inadvertently led to a loss in his practice – the loss of insight that is essential to vipassana. It is not that zandtao has eschewed vipassana in favour of the other benefits that have arisen in his practice, it is simply that insights have stopped arising.
Let us examine this in detail bearing in mind that insight arises with the Dhamma comrade of wisdom. How did insight arise before? How important was it? The second first, insight during meditation or at other times has taken him to the path, from insights came blogs, from insight came direction for his quests; without doubt insight has been the greatest Dhamma gift for zandtao following his path and becoming autonomous. So it is a great loss.
How did it arise before? It arose through the wisdom bias of his previous practice. As clarity developed when a sitting began or during a sitting or even in mental considerations when waking insight would arise. In many ways insight was a part of sitting and sitting for ZPAP has changed because of the length of the process.
But it is more than that, there is a loss of emphasis on wisdom. In redressing the balance towards love the arising of wisdom has been lost. In the love-wisdom balance the arising of wisdom has become token. The emphasis of meditation has changed towards the feeling of love, the connection with Mother Earth that gives rise to the feelings of love. Wisdom is then tokenly brought in as consciousness down the chakra ridgepole leading to balance that develops tathata and deep seeing.
But wisdom has stopped seeing zandtao, and he found this out in such a stupid way. He allowed himself to develop D-deficiency because he was not harmonious with nature. Crossing the threshold zandtao stopped living in harmony with nature and focussed on his writing. Instead of living in harmony he became a writer, he got up to be a writer meditator and student – but there was no harmony with nature. When he looks back at this studious emphasis it takes little mindfulness to see there was no harmony with nature but he was never bothered because he was writing.
Here's the rub, why didn’t insight warn him? It had always been his guide so why hadn’t it warned him? Because there is no place for insight in ZPAP. Wisdom is tokenly brought in for love-wisdom balance, but mindfulness is not arising leading to insight. In ZPAP there is no place the 5 Dhamma comrades to reflect on zandtao.
Change to the beginning of stage 15. At this point there is a state of the 3 characteristics of Buddhism and atammayata. Develop wisdom, use insight to see zandtao, observe zandtao and be zandtao’s guide. Is zandtao in harmony? “Atammayata leads to autonomy. Liberation that brings Wisdom. Sunnata, idappaccayata Interbeing”. This is what ZPAP says, and if zandtao had been doing this he might have got away with it.
“Liberation is also love, love that is free from patriarchy. Chakra embodiment of love and wisdom - [3]. Integrate whole being and then integrate with interbeing.” His practice at this stage became atammayata focussing on love, and chakra embodiment of love-wisdom. There was a jump from atammayata to embodiment missing out wisdom and insight. There was no observation of zandtao and harmony or else insight would have seen the complete lack of harmony and the d-deficiency. This is the Diamond sutt/ra warning in practice. When there is autonomy there aren’t the protections of tradition, there aren’t the protections that arise from the institutions, there is just zandtao and his harmony with nature. And what keep that harmony? His inner guide – insight.
In his daily life zandtao has changed his lifestyle and is beginning to live in harmony again. Slowly he is working through the health issues that arose from his d-deficiency. But now he must work on harmonising his days so that there is physical harmony with nature that will enable meditation and his quest as writing. This beginning of chapter 2 is part of that process.
An insight just came to him – this has implications for bypassing. Good – insight is starting back.
[next day] And the process of harmonising is continuing. Basically the changes that zandtao made to MwB took out the vipassana – marginalised the insight. The way that zandtao practiced meditation meant that insight arose through the daily structure of the meditation; it arose as a habit. Through the night the inner guide would chug away, and then in the morning either in half-sleep insight or more likely when he sat to meditate the insight would arise. The insight arose as part of his daily routine. As zandtaomed this has to be known, the daily routine gives rise to insight. This raises a big zandtaomed question, do the changes that have been made to zandtaomed mean there is no daily routine? This would need to be checked if zandtaomed were to continue.
It is worth at this point discussing a major change in the relationship of zandtao and zandtaomed, and it is basically the end of zandtaomed. Zandtao now recognises that it is not appropriate to advise on meditation without having a psychological understanding of well-being – as Nicola might denote zandtaomed Ph D. It is not valid to take the Brad stance that meditation is for spirituality and trauma is for psychologists. To zandtao a spiritual adviser needs to be a psychologist first; equally zandtao would like to see an imperative on psychology to see well-being as the first step towards the path and spirituality. It is zandtao’s understanding that transpersonal psychology is beginning to do that.
What zandtao has realised is that his experience is not enough, how can the experience of one person on the path give sufficient understanding to look at the trauma for all? For zandtao this understanding came when he realised that zandtaomed did not have expertise to deal with a person who was on depression medication. Zandtaomed covered himself by asking the seeker to discuss with the doctor concerning the medicine but he was out of his depth. Whilst zandtaomed is certain that the work with zandtaomed was beneficial for the seeker it exposed his own weaknesses.
This of course leads to a huge path dilemma. Zandtaomed would never have sought to offer advice if he had not followed his path. When would training in psychology and transpersonal psychology have become part of his awareness? It would have to be lucky that the path and psychology would cross but such luck is not beyond the ambit of nature.
Traditions have an advantage here because of the experience and wisdom that has built up over the years within those traditions. But unfortunately autonomy is not an objective of traditions so there is inherent weakness for some seekers within the traditions.
It is a blindness for spiritual teachers to “teach meditation” without recognising that trauma work in our patriarchy is integral. Teachers such as Teal have integrated trauma work into her completeness program – and therefore presumably with her counselling training. A legitimate question – does her counselling contain sufficient experience and depth comparable with clinical practices of psychiatry?
And then there is the question in the other direction – will there be sufficient spirituality emphasis for those working clinically on well-being?
Overall this a question concerning CofA – Culture of Awakening. Mostly everything concerning awakening is bolt-on or patchy. Apart from the traditions whose work does not necessarily include autonomy, seekers bounce all over the place eventually hopefully finding a way for their inner guide to help them find the path; the traditions will give them the practice but will this practice always find autonomy? But there is a disconnect between well-being and spirituality as evidenced by Mcmindfulness and the well-being emphasis of Commune. Neither of these are concerned with seekers following their paths even though inner guides reconnecting to Dhamma could bolt onto what is found in both and find their paths.
But this is not really a CofA, it is a patchwork. With zandtao’s newly-developed perspective for the need for well-being and spirituality in the same adviser in order to cope with patriarchy’s trauma, an active CofA needs to promote the clinical and spiritual in the same adviser because well-being and spirituality is a continuum. And by continuum there is a significant understanding where does well-being end and spirituality begin? For example a seeker could make significant spiritual strides whilst still being traumatised, and yet if the spiritual adviser is not capable of advising about the trauma that trauma could negate all the spiritual progress. In zandtao’s opinion an adviser has now to be both, and this is because of the changing nature of the patriarchy in which it could be argued that there is an intention to increase trauma – and that is beyond the integral trauma created in women by that patriarchy.
Vipassana used to be part of zandtao’s daily routine because it was MwB, and the insight of the inner guide arose was active as part of that practice with nature’s imperative of “reconnecting with Dhamma”. For Eckhart Now would include the inner guide 24/7 but for zandtao he did not understand that autonomy took away that natural imperative. This natural imperative had with it the wisdom that guided zandtao through his studies and at the same time the inner guide through insight would make zandtao aware of any divergence from the path.
What then happens with autonomy? Autonomy guides the inner guide, and what did zandtao do with this autonomy? Quest for the unknown – the inner guide was pushed into writing. The autonomy drive was strong enough that it overrode the inner guide’s natural imperative leading to his unnatural focus. This is a danger in autonomy if the seeker is not living in harmony with nature – zandtao lacked that harmony and it led to his ill health.
Zandtao is now in the process of solving this problem, and it is a matter of overview and misunderstanding. Zandtao did not realise that autonomy took this control even though logic would say so. Zandtao’s imperative for autonomy is similar to “reconnecting with Dhamma” – living in harmony with nature; the inner guide is now working to ensure that zandtao is living in harmony with nature – none of this writing seclusion.
The embodiment of this in daily life is taking time for zandtao. There has been a reaction to the aircon – coughing fits wrenching out phlegm, but it is getting better. As yet the meditation is weak, and has not been resolved – it must be. But there is a consciousness of harmonising with nature for the inner guide developing. Much work is needed and maybe healing to balance the wrenching cough but hopefully there will develop a daily life that is in harmony with nature - with the help of the inner guide because autonomy has given a natural directive.
With autonomy’s new natural directive the inner guide will have an outlet – not squeezed into writing nor squeezed out of meditation. Previously inner guide could rely on sitting or at worst pushing through early morning sleep haze if zandtao lay in and let his mind wander. All of this has changed as a result of the way he introduced the love-wisdom balance. Note a strong distinction:- it is not the love-wisdom balance that is the problem it is the way zandtao changed his practice, the way autonomy gave a misdirected imperative.
His inner guide had no outlet, there was no way zandtao was letting insight out. Insight and creativity are linked. Zandtao was definitely being creative – he was getting up to write. “Zandtao produced Real Love, Secular Path?, finished Kolok in this two-year aberrance” says the writing ego. This is deeply meaningful even though the changes in practice (ZPAP) cut out the inner guide. But he was too focussed, and in that focus insight was shut out. If he hadn’t been focussed on “getting up to write” he might have let insight in, but instead of following his path he was getting up to write – and there is a distinction. This distinction led to the health issue, and now that he is conscious of that health issue he can bring his life back into harmony. Obviously the way he embellished 2 years dedication to writing there had been previous imbalance – not enough time for writing?, too much time on the beach and swimming?
All of these concerns need to be reflected in his life’s NEW harmony. Obviously ZPAP must change to allow the inner guide in but does there need to be a daily routine? That can only be answered by practice ie do the changes that zandtao makes allow for the inner guide? And the insight that matters is whether the inner guide can connect with zandtao’s mindfulness to help monitor whether zandtao’s lifestyle is sufficiently in harmony with nature.
Let’s look again at stage 15:-
At atammayata there is no conditioning, no restrictions. This is when there is reconnection to Dhamma and if the mind were free insights could come in. However the mind was not free because the mind was being directed towards tathata through the chakra embodiment of the love-wisdom triangle:-
There is nothing wrong with tathata and its vision but if the mind is not free then where can the insight go. This is the stage where insight was shut out because there was not liberation there was redirection to tathata. In terms of ZPAP this is where the change is needed. Before working on tathata and ensuing conscious evolution, there needs to be a time for zandtao alignment – harmonising with nature. With this process of alignment the inner guide will have the opportunity to raise insights that will help realign.
However that is only the ZPAP solution, the main issue is embodiment in daily life so this requires some 24/7 consciousness. Somewhat embarrassingly this way of living is natural for many living in the conditioned world – especially those working with the land; zandtao can take his realignment guide from these people instead of making ego decisions that lead to ill health. But a 24/7 harmony-consciousness and harmony-realignment is required until it is 2nd nature.
Apart from an understandable lack of the requirements of autonomy, what zandtao also did not have was full consciousness of his MwB routine. This he ultimately puts down to his lack of involvement with Sangha. Now for zandtao it is clear that the inner guide would arise with the Dhamma comrades – as it always has done, but whilst zandtao had consciousness of the function of the inner guide he was not always mindful of this function. The inner guide reconnects with Dhamma but with autonomy where is this reconnection? There is some kind of balance in which the onus of reconnection changes with the autonomy, the inner guide is always there but the directive comes from autonomy and not from the natural reconnection. Natural reconnection occurred as routine arising of the Dhamma comrades, with autonomy the onus changes requiring mindful embodiment of wisdom; involvement with Sangha might have led to suitable advice and then hopefully zandtao’s acceptance of such wisdom.
As it is this leads to an important understanding concerning autonomy. Zandtao will make mistakes. Previously as seeker zandtao did not really make mistakes because the inner guide protected him. The insights that arose from the inner guide took him back to the path – or at least they did in retirement not during 2nd childhood. He relied on himself not making mistakes then. There was not sufficient circumspection concerning creative development because he relied on the inner guide. In autonomy this is the 2nd big conceptual mistake on his path – the other was concerning rage and Real Love. He caught the rage mistake in review but he became ill with this inappropriate writing focus. Perhaps he can begin again to rely on his inner guide with his autonomy’s directive but this points more to mindful circumspection of decision-making – there has to be more conscious mindfulness from his autonomy.
All of this screams at him diamond sutta warning giving this interpretation. Remember the practice that brought zandtao to Prajna and autonomy. Be conscious of this practice. The seeker cannot rely on the inner guide to do all the work autonomy brings with it the need for conscious mindfulness or circumspection. The practice does not change but autonomy does. Be more conscious of what the practice contains.
And for zandtao this mistake has huge implications for the main theme of zandtao - spiritual bypassing. With autonomy can come mistakes because there is not the natural protection of the inner guide. How autonomy protects itself becomes part of autonomy’s onus, there is no easy reliance as grew up with zandtao with his practice. As a general realisation concerning spiritual bypassing, we have a reliance on autonomy that ego can easily redirect. With autonomy comes greater risk and therefore greater responsibility, the seeker’s autonomy can more easily be taken over by ego – no protection of inner guide. And therefore lead to bypassing.
For zandtao this brings in two practices – greater mindfulness of the conscious evolution, and more involvement with sangha for mutual circumspection. The second will not happen for zandtao requiring greater practice of the 1st. He is not now “teaching” because of the psychology requirement so lack of sangha might be OK. More will be learnt that way in his personal quest with the increased mindful circumspection.
When does autonomy arise? As with all aspects of spiritual development there are no clear rational steps to autonomy. Autonomy arises through practice but x amount of practice does not yield autonomy. Autonomy arises when autonomy is ready. Until autonomy arises the path is governed by the inner guide reconnecting with Dhamma, before autonomy there is protection. After autonomy there needs to be conscious evolution and therefore the seeker is at greater risk – thus requiring increased mindful circumspection.
Within this autonomy scenario where does spiritual bypassing arise? Now it can arise as a follower of a misguided teacher, however if the advice is following the path – harmonising with nature then there is no spiritual bypassing for such followers. After autonomy there is greater risk of spiritual bypassing because the protection of the inner guide reconnecting with Dhamma has gone, and the inner guide is directed by the autonomy. Such direction brings with it more egoic risks, the egoic risks that are essentially spiritual bypassing.
In terms of bypassing and cults there is no clear delineation. There are seekers following and seekers with autonomy. A leader might have autonomy or might have ego. That leader might be acting through ego or have autonomy that has been tricked by ego. Or that leader could be following their autonomous path. The only person who will know is the leader themselves, and they might not know ie deluding themselves. But whatever the situation with a leader and their possible autonomy there is a clarity for any followers. Such followers will be protected by their inner guide if they follow the practice of their paths and don’t surrender their paths to a leader. Or a seeker with autonomy will be protected so long at they stick close to their autonomy remaining harmonised with nature and using their mindfulness with circumspection.
The danger is the surrender to an individual or to a practice that is not your own, there is no spiritual bypassing on the path whether as a seeker doing a practice or as a seeker with autonomy. Either in doing a practice with mindfulness or being autonomous with mindfulness there is no spiritual bypassing, spiritual bypassing arises with ego or surrender to the ego of another. On the path arises embodiment, and spiritual bypassing is the opposite of embodiment - spiritual bypassing could be described as the lack of embodiment.
And this embodiment issue brings zandtao back to the writing that led to his recent lack of harmony and illness. Apart from his daily life zandtao could argue that the writing is his path. Undoubtedly over the last two years the output of Real Love, Secular Path?, and finishing Kolok could be seen as good path output. Writing is an expression of path and is therefore embodiment to some extent, but in terms of paththe question of development is raised. There is a subtlety here that can be exposed as bypassing. There is path, there is sampajanna, writing can be sampajanna and therefore path. And whilst writing path can be developed through its creativity. But if writing becomes the sole means by which there is harmony with nature then there is bypassing - the ego of writing considering itself path. This difference is subtle but in practice it was significantly displayed as illness.
Path and writing and developing the path through writing is his autonomy’s quest but these are path together only when zandtao is following his path in harmony with nature. If writing becomes his path only ie if the quest is only writing, then there is the ego of writing bypassing. This subtle ego needs to be recognised within his meditation practice as discussed above. Path is primarily being in harmony with nature, this requires that in the integration stage of his ZPAP after atammayata the inner guide needs to check that zandtao’s lifestyle is in harmony with nature. In this way there is path first as zandtao’s autonomy being in harmony with nature, and then there is the quest for the unknown that is carried out through his writing as z-quest. If at any stage the z-quest becomes dominant, zandtao’s inner guide needs to be mindful that his primary autonomy is still in harmony with nature. In autonomy there is a vulnerability because the inner guide is now part of the autonomy as opposed to having its own purpose in reconnecting with Dhamma, this vulnerability can lead to spiritual bypassing. As a general principle any seeker who has reached autonomy is more at risk from bypassing than a seeker who is developing their practice perhaps under guidance from a tradition; unfortunately such a seeker guided by external advice is at risk from the content of the advice so it is essential that they get in touch with their inner guide as soon as possible on their path.
Reflecting on autonomy took zandtao back to the diamond sutt/ra. When he reviews his progress on the path and what that progress could be described as in autonomy, that description could be summed up as arising from ZPAP. If we follow the progress in the 4 tetrads then in kaya there is a release of attachments and the development of internal chi, the release of attachments in vedana, calming of vedana with love arising, feelings of love and feelings controlled by love. In the 3rd tetrad this love is expanded through the 4 brahma-viharas with some focus on now and concentration (10 and 11 not developed greatly). In stage 12 mental attachments are considered – the kilesa, upadanas and inappropriate attachment to the 5 khandhas. In stages 13 and 14 cursory development of the 3 characteristics with the released attachments of stage 12 leads to atammayata, and in atammayata there is now the inner guide questioning harmony with nature. From this non-concocted state the love-wisdom ridgepole is developed, expanded throughout the body and then as interbeing. From this love-wisdom balance there grows vision - tathata. Throughout MwB practice there develops the 5 Dhamma comrades.
In terms of zandtao’s interpretation of the diamond sutt/ra this description arises through his practice, is held to through his practice but are not a description of his autonomy. This apparent descriptive confusion is consistent throughout the diamond sutt/ra, and for zandtao is an indication of autonomy. To describe his autonomy zandtao will use the above that arise from his practice, he will try to hold to the above that arise from his practice but this is not the freedom that is autonomy. This autonomy is a state of freedom that has no restrictions and underlies what arises in his practice, in a sense it is a state of reconnection that is beyond the practice.
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