Unleashing has grown out of connecting with Nicola Amadora . This connection first directly began in part 2 of Secular path? (Towards Feminine), but love is the issue that has arisen as Prajna – first z-quest in Prajna Real Love. Zandtao has been coming to terms with spiritual love throughout Prajna, is unleashing simply about that?
There were triggers that started Unleashing, it seems that this z-quest has been triggered for more than a month. But the first sign of fim (father-in-me) was the rage error where somehow zandtao allowed rage to be considered a legitimate part of love. This makes no sense to zandtao now – except it does because it is fim. Zandtao caught the rage error but it is frightening that it happened. When he looks into zanshadtao there cannot be such egos arising, and the way he is blocked and confused at times when writing shows there is fim-work to be done.
As soon as Nicola’s book, Love Unleashed, was released zandtao bought the book – unusual, but he stored it. Yet he continued to listen to Nicola occasionally - outside in his new natural harmony. Then he listened to this talk, Meeting your Sacred Wound and Soul Fire, with Charlie Giles from Nicola’s youtube channel (bz transcribed here). It began as an interest in Sacred Wounds, how can he examine Zanshadtao if he had a Sacred Wound? But as he began transcribing the talk he began to see the importance of Sacred Wounds. So Unleashing was initially going to a search for his Sacred Wound. But as he got deeper in the talk – transcribing has so much more depth than talking especially trying to unravel what Nicola’s style is saying from the original download from youtubetranscript.com (zandtao hopes he has been faithful to Nicola in his transcription), zandtao found his Sacred Wound – fim – father-in-me.
As soon as he found that there was confusion, he began his journal My Sacred Wound – that is personal. It unravelled some confusion. Nicola said there are sections on Sacred Wounds in her book so the zquest was obvious. This became the obvious end of this month’s errancy. Beginning with the d-deficiency that was a predictable consequence of his emphasis on writing zandtao began a process of harmonising with nature. This meant removing the writing emphasis, and as he did so he lost both meditation and most of writing. As he grew more physically in harmony with his environment he recognised the fim exercise decision. He has a heart condition, and out of fear he had stopped all exercise – including Chi Gung. This all-or-nothing was the way F had responded, and he had been critical with M about this. Yet he did it himself – his fim.
Once he was more physically in harmony-with-nature zandtao listened to Nicola on Sacred Wounds and surrender. He has felt confusion. Previously there was confusion at the threshold as questing took him into the areas of unanswered questions - zandtao-avyakata. But this confusion feels so different, maybe seeing it as emotional block rather than the spiritual confusion of zandtao-avyakata. Maybe that explains but so many times over the last two days he has just felt a block as he tries to understand fim. He cannot recall ever being like that but he must have been as bill. The only way he can see of getting beyond these blocks is a z-quest on Love Unleashed.
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