Nadiya reminds me of the beautiful Alex Scott. She has a public facade of success that gets variously described as functional. What does this appalling word functional mean? In society’s terms Nadiya is a success - both she and Alex are TV personalities, but at home coping with anxiety or depression. In Alex’s case now a TV presenter, with Nadiya a celebrity chef and business person.
(References - use the outline in this limited transcript of "My Real Experience With Mental Health | Nadiya: Anxiety And Me (Full Documentary) | Tonic" to check time references - or listen at times in clip).
5 Dukkha Steps
Here are the 5 dukkha steps for attempting to cope with anxiety and depression - Teal medical disclaimer withstanding:-
Zandtao’s first reaction
Having watched the documentary "My Real Experience With Mental Health | Nadiya: Anxiety And Me (Full Documentary) | Tonic", this case study is going to take a while - a worth while. But there are flags so here is the first reaction, and then with the details a more suitable approach.
Listening to the whole prog zandtao felt the Dukkha 5 steps model worked with provisos - but it is not a model he would like to handle online. It’s a hands-on interactive model, and would need guidance and for zandtao the Ph D. There were so many things that were positive, and so many things that this model adds.
Firstly Nadiya talks of her anxiety as a monster - [12.58] “That's exactly what I call it, I call it my monster”, and often describes it as building up. This definitely fits.
Secondly with the CBT the therapist took her through an attack - from [25.09], and determined the trauma of racist bullying. He shamefully did not use the term racist, maybe there is a professional reason of back-watching for that? It was a moment for Nadiya to realise she was re-experiencing this racism during her anxiety attacks. To be noted here was that the therapist brought on this attack by getting Nadiya to breathe deeply [23.37], the important implications for this and meditation will be discussed below.
Nadiya expressed fear of travelling - [40.17], and the therapist took her on a train to London. As Zandtao has seen Nadiya do a cooking travel show in Thailand, this surprised him. CBT led her through a situation that had previously produced anxiety, and it didn’t.
The therapist pointed out that the coping routines of keeping the anxiety at bay were actually reinforcing the anxiety. [38.58]
The prog ended with the therapist saying that it was working - because of the recognition of the bullying and the train, but Nadiya needed self-help to finish the job [54.14]. Zandtao felt that what the therapist did was good in that he helped Nadiya recognise:-
The racist bullying
Train panic non-existent
The avoidance of the coping routines
But the prog did not talk about the self-help processes; what sort of self-help did he offer?
Throughout the CBT was concerned with tathata - seeing the problem, was therapy-centred and was limited by time. Tathata is deeper involving a recognition of these 3 points and more. Because the therapist used the term bullying and not racism he was avoiding a whole world of anxiety for Nadiya as a brown woman.
One interviewee spoke of anxiety arising as an emotion of warning, and that without the “sabre-toothed tiger” to focus on the anxiety became a problem [9.11] - this was not the therapist. But in general the prog did not address the issue of ongoing anxiety other than speaking of self-help at the end. For zandtao dukkha is better understood as an ongoing build-up of “dukkha-stuff” that remains in the system and needs to be released - the “dukkha-stuff” building up into Nadiya’s monster. This indicates the use of meditation. Releasing the more tangible anxiety emotions can also be done by meditation, but the larger the emotion the less chance of success - see below.
As an afterthought zandtao wants to discuss the twins studies. [19.23]
1st reaction is positive. But there is an academic risk of fitting into the model of the 5 Dukkha steps. Do NOT attempt to use this model without professional guidance - much more than zandtao.
Detailed Analysis
Having described my first reaction to the doco, zandtao is going to look at details, and by comparison describe how the 5 Dukkha steps could work. The purpose of this detailed examination is to develop the model, and how it could be used - with professional guidance more than zandtao. First of all this would require a clinical practice - as discussed in zandtao PhD, zandtao does not have that. Secondly zandtao is comparing the Dukkha 5 steps with the doco and not real life. The doco does not present the full Nadiya - zandtao does not know her, the doco does not present the full interaction between Nadiya and Paul as CBT - quite rightly zandtao will never know what that has been. From here onwards, when zandtao uses the names Nadiya and Paul, the CBT therapist, he is is describing limited caricatures, and not real people.
What is the dysfunctional mess Nadiya lives in? She has success - a nice family and a rich career, so that doesn’t sound dysfunctional - Nadiya wiki. But because of her ongoing fear of the anxiety monster she keeps running just in front of the monster - mostly. She survives, has wealth but limited happiness - that is dysfunctional because of the anxiety disorder.
Nadiya describes her anxiety
She opens her talk with this [0.14] “I know that having anxiety is probably one of the most lonely, most isolating things to have because you are your own worst enemy. You live inside your head and I know there are thousands of people out there who suffer just like me. We need to talk and that's half the healing we need to talk”. Her anxiety disorder arises from the dysfunction that does not put people first. “We need to talk and that's half the healing we need to talk” is tathata.
How does her dukkha manifest? At [1.11] she describes what she calls an anxiety disorder. “That feeling of worry is always there, it's so heavy and it just doesn't go away. I can hear the beating of my heart in my chest, then it goes up to my head and then I have a panic attack. It feels like you're gonna die. Imagine what kind of a life you live if you worry about dying every single day. I think I have an anxiety disorder but I've never had a proper diagnosis so I don't know exactly what's wrong with me, or if I can get better.” It accumulates into a monster - her word [12.58], because there is no ongoing release - my interpretation. When she begins to feel dukkha, she runs - escaping into a routine designed for her not to face her anxiety; a routine that gave her success through cooking. There is no release of the dukkha so it accumulates into her monster.
Nadiya’s avoidance
Because of the routines there was no tathata - facing of the problem. So let’s face the full problem. The CBT therapist unearthed the trauma Nadiya faced at primary school, and called it bullying. The reality of that experience was because Nadiya was “dark” [13.16] - her non-racial euphemism. Nadiya is a short lady, a Muslim lady, and very attractive, in a British racist society this puts her in a very vulnerable situation. Each time she goes out there has to be anxiety, maybe not conscious anxiety, because to be conscious of the various possible violent racist behaviours would possibly mean a "beautiful 1.52 m tall brown woman" would never leave her home. When Nadiya uses the term “dark” and the therapist uses the term “bullying”, neither are presenting the full picture of the reality of life for a “beautiful 1.52 m tall brown woman” in Britain. As an old white man who has left the UK because of its patriarchal ethos, zandtao cannot offer guidance as to how to cope, but if Nadiya’s consciousness concerning racist Britain is that she was bullied because she was dark then that in itself is a high level of avoidance. And avoidance leads to such disorders. If zandtao were her therapist he would refer her to Asian/Bangladeshi race counsellors who would advise as to how to cope with racist Britain.
The Tathata of racist Britain
This full description of racist Britain and what it means for a “beautiful 1.52 m tall brown woman” is tathata, and is far short of the dark and bullying summary of Nadiya and CBT; as a white man CBT can never fully understand the tathata - neither can zandtao. In this doco CBT pointed out that avoidance through routines was a strategy that Nadiya used, and he showed that such avoidance contributed to the anxiety disorder. In a similar vein his avoidance of getting Nadiya to confront racist Britain as an issue also contributed to the anxiety disorder. Race counsellors cannot do the impossible - remove racism from Britain, but they will have worked out the best ways of being conscious and coping.
In racist Britain stepping out of the house for a “beautiful 1.52 m tall brown woman” has to create anxiety, this stepping out of the house fear was illustrated by her “train fear”. But going on a train journey with a tall white man is not fully facing this legitimate agoraphobic fear in racist Britain, and the fact that the CBT did not raise this issue is a central therapeutic omission. Given her wealth, has Nadiya considered security to feel safe when leaving the house? For zandtao that would be an issue to discuss with the race counsellor.
Racial Anxiety as daily dukkha
As an individual there might be other factors that contribute to Nadiya’s anxiety but the dukkha of being a “beautiful 1.52 m tall brown woman” in racist Britain requires handling on a daily basis. She is brown 24/7, and therefore has anxiety 24/7 to deal with. She describes this monster building up because quite simply Nadiya (doco) is not adopting strategies to cope with this daily dukkha - other than avoidance. Step 3 asks for building the best vihara, and for balanced emotions there cannot be avoidance.
Meditation Advice
Zandtao is tentative about the following advice, and it would have to be developed in deep consultation with Nadiya - or any anxiety sufferer. The way to release the anxiety is through meditation, but unless you are Ajaan Dtun the quality of meditation would not likely to be enough to cope with the monster. But it might be able to cope with the building up of daily anxiety, each day there is anxiety and each day meditation releases the dukkha.
CBT expertly showed that breathing was connected with the assaults at her school. So the focussing on the breath of vipassana in order to release dukkha could connect to the trauma. But daily practice without raising the trauma would end that connection. From there vipassana meditation focussing on the daily dukkha and releasing it could mostly end the build-up of the monster. Given that some/all of the anxiety is related to racist Britain it is possible that there will be recurrence of the monster through racist incidents and possible assaults. Hence the discussion of security. Nadiya could work with a meditation adviser until she has a workable meditation routine that releases the dukkha.
If there is a workable meditation routine for dealing with daily dukkha - anxiety, then it is possible there will not be monster-recurrence. If Nadiya develops a conscious approach to racist Britain with the help of race counsellors, then maybe racist incidents will not impact on her as much as the fear and anxiety do.
Best Vihara
At this point it is worth considering the best vihara, and for this there must be speculation. Being a "a beautiful 1.52m tall brown woman" in patriarchal racist Britain, anxiety must be connected at least in part to her race. But it is possible that not dealing with the best vihara marginalises the lack of integration into her anxiety disorder. Clearly Nadiya is driven, and this drive has led to much social success. This success has been achieved at the expense of personal happiness. How much does this drive for personal success create an imbalance? For this imbalance a meditation adviser needs to help Nadiya in her meditation to examine clinging to egos. Has she got her success balance with family correct? Avoiding examining this balance could lead to the personal need for balance to express itself - and anxiety disorder could be a way of expressing. A meditation adviser would work with Nadiya to achieve this best vihara - no easy matter. This is a form of the self-help CBT advised [54.14], but for zandtao Nadiya needed far more personal guidance into that self-help than was offered in the doco. Meditation is ongoing, has its own inner guide, and a determined seeker needs only minimal guidance. Nadiya is not a seeker but she is suffering from trauma - anxiety disorder. As a person coming to these dukkha steps from a position of suffering it would be harder for her to develop the inner guide that would maintain her own discipline. But that would be the objective. For zandtao there would appear to be an imbalance in her kilesas - greed, hatred and avoidance, in terms of these kilesas what egos has she clung to? For a successful woman in patriarchy something must have been sacrificed.
Anxiety conditioning and anxiety Sacred Wound
For Nadiya part of her concern was the anxiety-gene, this was discounted by Rosa [19.23]. Rosa spoke of a multiplicity of genes that might be involved with passing on anxiety but neither spoke of conditioning and the Sacred Wound. Nadiya’s anxiety is a conditioned behaviour that her children will imitate to some extent, and the sooner the family begins to work with children on anxiety the better - the details of how would have to be a family discussion with appropriate counselling. This conditioning transfer is natural, and should not be a cause for anxiety, but in the doco the ease with which Nadiya accepted that she was not responsible as there was no anxiety gene shows avoidance again. Her children were meant to have anxiety questions as spiritually that is who they chose, that is not an anxiety for Nadiya. It is however her duty to help them deal with it.
Conclusion
Undoubtedly the 5 Dukkha steps could help Nadiya, the CBT therapy that helped her in the doco fit within those steps esp tathata. But whilst these dukkha steps highlighted racial anxiety there could well be far more than racial dukkha involved. The more we learn of what is - tathata, of who Nadiya is - her tathata, the more we can apply vipassana to release dukkha and then egos that have been clung to. As Nadiya is a sufferer this would require more meditation advice until Nadiya as seeker would take over becoming her own inner guide in doing the best she can to be the best vihara. Meditation or self-help needs to be a daily practice to cope with the realities of living in the dysfunctional mess of modern-day patriarchy, that is a tathata all of society needs to learn.
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