What happens when we look at patriarchy with our love-wisdom?
With wisdom we can know patriarchy for what it is – the social system that arises from conditioning and kilesa, and with wisdom there can be a wise detachment as seekers can develop wisdom within patriarchy – better described as wisdom beyond patriarchy. But when we look with love at patriarchy it is much harder to cultivate love because not only do we know that patriarchy restricts love we feel that restriction; love feels. With wisdom there is the knowing detachment of equanimity, but with love such equanimity is so different. Equanimity can know and be detached from the restrictions of patriarchy, but if we simply remain detached there is bypassing. The equanimity of love-wisdom feels the restrictions, and that feeling can act as motivation – potentially no bypassing. Equanimity has the motivation of love as well as the detachment of wisdom, the equanimity of love-wisdom walks this balance in order to avoid bypassing.
Great care must be taken with this equanimity as we cannot become attached to these feelings as such attachments can become rage. Equanimity needs to feel the motivations of love to create change whilst using wisdom to remain detached. Equanimity as wisdom only can bring with it bypassing, love can make that wisdom an action of sampajanna with its inherent motivation.
How can our genuine leaders act with equanimity? With wisdom they can see patriarchy, let us examine patriarchy in some detail. Please note that a seeker’s relationship with patriarchy needs to be very clear, and is an essential final part of the Seeker Story; please be clear about your own relationship.
First of all there is conditioning. Conditioning starts with instinct and through developing self-esteem is nature’s way of helping young survive. But with maturity the selves of self-esteem are expected to be released; rather than a relationship with self, there is the path that works towards sunnata, a path that includes the Dhamma comrades (which include love-wisdom) .
Arising from the conditioning comes people who are conditioned, do they know? Part of conditioning is the protection of self that does not see its creation as conditioning. Maturity recognises this delusion but such recognition does not arise in conditioned minds. People who are conditioned cannot be “blamed” for being conditioned – it is part of nature. This has also to be said of the 1%. They are conditioned, become greedy (kilesa), and usually cause ahimsa in order to become wealthy. But this is conditioning, do we blame them spiritually? How does equanimity address the conditioned minds of humanity? Following the path can work on conditioned minds through the development of the Dhamma comrades, it is not blame but the equanimity of love and duty that works on conditioning in the detached hope of ending conditioning.
When a traditional Buddhist talks of kilesa, it is usually as an ego that they hope the seeker will let go. Do we blame the seeker for having this kilesa? It is part of the path to release kilesas, but tolerance is also part of the path. There is a tendency amongst some - including zandtao - not to be tolerant towards the 1% because they have so much power, but their wealth and influence are simply as a result of kilesa; of course they have greater impact and therefore responsibility.
When tathata looks at patriarchy tathata does not see patriarchy as the overt group of rich white men who have fashioned a way of life and society that exploits. However tathata does see in the word patriarchy a word that accurately describes the way conditioning functions in our society. Although natural in origin this conditioning has become so reinforced that it has become the patriarchy of rich mostly-white men whose greed and hatred cause wars for profit whilst developing harmful social divisions. Yet there is no agency in this patriarchy, it is simply conditioning. It could be ended if we all ended kilesa, but because the patriarchy is so entrenched such ending of kilesa is so very difficult.
When we look at patriarchy with love we feel an inimical restriction. Patriarchy can tolerate the wisdom that sees patriarchy for what it is because that wisdom has no power, within wisdom there is understanding with no motivation for change. Sampajanna turns wisdom into action, and that action is motivated not only from knowing and seeing but also from feeling. Patriarchy knows that love can have the power to turn wisdom into action.
Let's look in more detail as to how love feels patriarchy?
In the conditioned world love functions through family. At first there is the fundamental mother-love at birth, and from birth patriarchy creates pressures of separation that cause difficulties for the fundamental human duty of upbringing. In the West now young couples are unlikely to have their own home unless they become indebted to parents; even the indebtedness to mortgages and wage-slavery is now not possible for most. With the social emphasis on career (a form of wage-slavery) and consumerism cementing the love bond that starts at birth is difficult with all the patriarchal pressures against it.
For the man there is a difficulty. Nature already throws a curve ball for the immature conditioned family man. Romantic love is the man's first love experienced outside family. After marriage nature's instincts insist on the birth of a child, and the mother's love naturally changes. For the man nature requires that romantic love becomes paternal love but rather than encouraging this transition patriarchy emphasises rights for romantic love. For some immature men this transition is never truly made.
But as for Dhamma love or unconditioned love this is not even recognised in patriarchy. So for the mature seeker on the path unconditioned love is often not a choice, and perhaps only happens through fortuitous grace. Whilst wisdom traditions might reach the awareness of a seeker, such a seeker is less likely to be aware of unconditioned love.
When we examine the role of patriarchy in the process of maintaining mother-love and developing unconditioned love we can see the negativity of that role. Love feels this far more strongly than wisdom knows this - feeling, knowing and seeing the way things are for love is important.
How does love enable sampajanna to turn wisdom into action?
Feeling love brings the action of sampajanna to wisdom because love expresses. Feeling is closer to, and encourages, action whilst wisdom is more amenable to detachment. Love-wisdom provides the natural balance for the expression of equanimity, without wisdom our feelings might lead to too much control by attachment and without love wisdom can have a tendency to bypass.
How does genuine leadership respond to love within patriarchy? Let me be specific about genuine leadership. This is not a description of politicians who are part of the patriarchy – women, men and of different identities, a genuine leader follows the path. So the question that zandtao repeatedly asks is:-
As a genuine leader do you talk of patriarchy?
A genuine leader following the path will see patriarchy as kilesa and conditioning, and will understand their personal relationship with patriarchy. Does such a leader denounce the connection between conditioning and patriarchy? Do genuine leaders discuss the role of patriarchy within conditioning?
Is there avoidance if patriarchy is not denounced in this way? Is there avoidance because personally or institutionally the genuine leader is compromised by patriarchy and its role in conditioning?
Do genuine leaders promote the importance of unconditioned love or do they promote timeless wisdom instead? This is an avoidance in the contemporary. Some leaders are speaking of spiritual bypassing eg Teal Swan - "Spiritual bypassing is the use of spiritual beliefs to avoid your un-met needs, deep pain and unresolved wounds." Zandtao was deeply impressed with this clip, and the seeker could do no better than listen in order to develop a love-wisdom balance. But whilst Teal speaks of bypassing as avoidance, she does not connect the avoidance concerning patriarchy with these more recognisable aspects of personal struggle on the path. That is not the emphasis of her personal work, an emphasis concerned with healing on a psychological and spiritual level.
Zandtao has no doubts that patriarchy as imperialist, white-supremacist, capitalist patriarchy contributes to the bypassing that avoids being present in daily life, that avoids the love-wisdom balance; these doubts are not affected by Teal not talking of this when she discussed bypassing - it was not the purpose of the video, not the purpose of her work? zandtao has recognised patriarchy as a strong issue for his autonomy, a key issue in his Prajna platform. Listen to Teal's bypassing clip for the pervasiveness of the lack of love-wisdom balance and its implications, but look to zandtao's prajna for the connection to patriarchy.
Do genuine leaders talk of patriarchy as the conditioning of kilesa? Or whatever words their own views have to describe this patriarchy? But if patriarchy is not named, can it be changed? If the fight against patriarchy remains a battle within patriarchy by the young with views (eg socialists), will it ever be changed? If patriarchy is seen as terminology of the extreme, will people begin to understand how pervasive the damage patriarchy causes? If leaders with compassion avoid saying that patriarchy limits love and causes so much suffering, will patriarchy ever change?
And yet the conditioning of patriarchy is so powerful that when someone uses the word they are dismissed as extreme. Can genuine leaders risk saying the word?
It is important to be clear about transcending and bypassing. Amongst the mysticism of spirituality there is the transcendence of “leaving daily life behind”, this is the transcendence of bypassing. In Viveka-Zandtao there is much related discussion starting with solitude.
At one point in the Viveka there was discussion of lokuttara where zandtao considered it as a state of transcendence. For some it is considered as a place and supramundane, and these designations are risky. Lokuttara is a state in which the seeker has developed to “not being subject to conditions”, Buddhadasa calls this atammayata – uncomfortably translated as non-concoctability. For zandtao this is what “going beyond” means – not being subject to conditions (sankhara), this is transcending. For zandtao Viveka (solitude) led to transcending and going beyond, but it was not a physical or mental escape from daily life; it was being present in daily life and not being subject to conditions.
Transcending is not concerned with escape but is concerned with conditions. It is conditioning that creates attachment, following the path is being free from attachment – atammayata – not subject to conditioning. As escape transcending is bypassing, as “going beyond” transcending is being a part of daily life but not subject to conditioning.
In wisdom-only practice it is quite conceivable that transcendence as escape can lead to greater wisdom but that does not necessarily mean there is sampajanna – wisdom-in-action. Love-wisdom has the love that turns wisdom into sampajanna – into action. Going beyond conditioning does not mean escape from daily life, it is the exact opposite – going beyond gives transcendence from conditioning and in that state of atammayata love-wisdom enables tathata and action (sampajanna). Without love wisdom can develop transcendence that is bypassing, because without love there might not be action.
This has implications for genuine leadership. With a wisdom-only approach there can be a tendency to develop transcendence as bypassing - wisdom-without-action. For love-wisdom love connects the wisdom to daily life and with sampajanna there is wise action. If leaders focus on wisdom, wisdom that patriarchy allows, there is increased risk of bypassing. Focussing on love-wisdom brings in sampajanna and the wise actions that can change patriarchy.
Is there a need to focus on patriarchy? Perhaps not. But there is a need for genuine leadership to change its focus from wisdom-only to love-wisdom. With love as a Dhamma comrade love and sampajanna will turn wisdom into action, and that action will include change in patriarchy. Feeling, knowing and seeing what is will create the action of change, actions that can see patriarchy and see the necessity to change - to change patriarchy.
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